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can someone proof read this for me?

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2008 at 6:38 PM
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I have took last names out so we can keep confidentiality for all of us...

 

Melinda

Theodore

Academic Strategies for the Business Professional

28 November 2008

 

                           Administrative Technician III

 

Kathleen works as an ATIII, otherwise known as Administrative Technician III. She has been working for [the company]. This is a company that supervises clients in various offenses on probation or parole, hence the name [company name]. The days are usually laid back and normal. Some days are difficult and some days interesting.

 

Kathleen’s responsibilities are to open and close case loads for the courts and the prisons. She also assigns case loads to probation officers in the office. She uses Microsoft programs to track investigations ordered by the court. Other responsibilities are to answer phones and keeping track of officers by signing them in and out of the office. She must complete monthly reports, assign DOC numbers, and work with Interstate Compact. Sometimes she must help the CIA, FBI,  and the Secret Service with their investigations by helping them with facts that they need.

 

The skills that you need to work in this position are to have interpersonal skills and telephone skills. You must understand confidentiality for you and the client’s safety. Multitasking is a must to be able to perform your work effectively. The ability to read people and pay attention to detail is also a strong skill you need to keep the office safe and secure.

 

A typical day at the office usually consists of answering the phones, greeting clients, and notifying officers they have clients they need to see.

Other jobs that she has held that have helped her with this position were nursing, Waitressing, working at a prison as an administrator, and tracking absconders. Nursing taught her to be able read people and understand body language. Waitressing helped her be able to deal with extremely hateful people. The prison taught her how to watch people and give some insight on how to beware of her surroundings for security for her fellow co-workers and herself.  Tracking absconders helped her learn how to think like them, it helps in every situations so she has a pretty good idea of how a person may act or if there might be something that is wrong and call for immediate help.

 

She does not have people to work for her unless there are offenders that have to do community service. She also supervises interns and clerical trainees. She supervises them in opening and closing cases and other office duties. She also supervises inmate crews when things need to be moved or they need to do some work.

 

One of the most challenging things about her work is the deadlines. If the deadlines aren’t met then she can be in contempt of court if all 3 deadlines aren’t met for each case. You have to get all these deadlines done for fifteen different probation officers. While doing that you have to be taking intakes, greeting clients, and answering the phones simultaneously.

The time management tips she suggest for this position were to be able to multitask. Keeping track of due dates is very critical. Team work helps a lot in getting the work turned in on time. You must be able to determine what cases are more important and then prioritize your workload.

 

To balance your family, work, and leisure time you have to leave your work at work. You cannot bring your emotions from work home with you. You also cannot bring your family issues to work with you either. Bringing your family issues to work with you is a very high risk to take. Doing so can put you in danger if the clients over hear what is going on and find out personal information they can use on you.

 

If you are looking for something with stability and that will not fall through, then this is the job for you. If you have babies, small children, or school aged children you can take off from work to take them to the doctor. From the first month of work you have ten hours of leave time. You can use that in emergencies if an emergency arises. If you don’t want to use your paid medical and vacation leave that has been built up over the years, you do not have to feel obligated too. They will buy your medical and vacation leave from you if you have not used it when you retire.

 

Kathleen really likes her job. She is a people watcher, “people fascinate me and they do the strangest things”. If you like to watch people and interact with them then this is a good job for you.

 

 

I appreciate it whoever wants to help :) I appreciate the help...yall have helped a lot since i have became a member of this group.

 

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2008 at 6:38 PM
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Karin78
by Group Admin on Nov. 29, 2008 at 4:35 PM

I've gone through the first half so far.  Is this a reccomendation for someone or is it a personal application letter?  It might be a little bit too long if it's a cover letter.  But if it's a reccomendation letter, the length is probably good.

I've changed the wording a little bit just to make it a bit more clear and/or  concise.  I don't think there's anything technically wrong with the way it was.  These are just suggestions.

 

Administrative Technician III

 

Kathleen works for [the company] as an Administrative Technician III.  As the name suggests, this company supervises clients who are on probation or parole for various offenses.  While most days are routine, some are difficult and eventful.

 

Kathleen’s primary responsibilities include opening and closing case loads for the courts and the prisons; assigning case loads to probation officers in the office; and tracking investigations ordered by the court using Mictorsoft programs.  Other responsibilities include answering phones and keeping track of officers by signing them in and out of the office; completing monthly reports; assigning DOC numbers; and working with Interstate Compact.  She occasionally helps with research for CIA, FBI, and Secret Service investigations.

 

In order to maintain safety and security, this position requires interpersonal skills; telephone skills; an understanding of confidentiality; the ability to read people and pay attention to detail; and the ability to multitask.  A typical day at the office usually consists of answering the phones, greeting clients, and notifying officers they have clients they need to see.

 

Kathleen has gained personal and professional expertise through her previous occupations- nurse, waitress, prison administrator, and absconder tracker(?). Nursing taught her to be able read people and to understand body language. Waitressing helped her to be able to deal gracefully with people who act disrespectful. The prison taught her to be aware of her surroundings which ensured the security of her co-workers and herself.  Tracking absconders helped her to learn how to think like them in a variety of situations, giving her insight into the way a person may act.  It also sharpened her instincts to know when something is wrong and requires a call for immediate help.

 

She occasionally oversees offenders that have to do community service; supervises interns and clerical trainees as they open and close cases and perform other office duties; and supervises inmate crews who are working on the premises.

 

~Karin             

Woman with Book Art Print by Pablo Picasso
   Libertarian Moms Group           Smart Chick Lit                Cafemom Tutors
                                      
http://www.cafemom.com/group/29789

 

 

                      

meliscool72
by on Nov. 30, 2008 at 3:40 PM

Thanks Karin...I was trying my best to get the last two sentences not to sound like elemtary school...lol. I spent a couple of days trying to word them. And for your question, it is an essay for my class. We have to find a person in the field we want to go into and interview them then write an essay about it. I am hoping it is long enough becuase the professor hasn't given out how many pages, paragraphs, or words we need to use. I appreciate your help.

 

Karin78
by Group Admin on Nov. 30, 2008 at 4:21 PM


Quoting meliscool72:

Thanks Karin...I was trying my best to get the last two sentences not to sound like elemtary school...lol. I spent a couple of days trying to word them. And for your question, it is an essay for my class. We have to find a person in the field we want to go into and interview them then write an essay about it. I am hoping it is long enough becuase the professor hasn't given out how many pages, paragraphs, or words we need to use. I appreciate your help.


Oh, okay!  You'll definitely want to use your own words, then.  But maybe the ideas I gave for the first half can help you in your final draft.  You're doing really well on your own.  Like I said, I don't really see any mistakes.  I just think you could make it flow a little bit more smoothly. 

 

~Karin             

Woman with Book Art Print by Pablo Picasso
   Libertarian Moms Group           Smart Chick Lit                Cafemom Tutors
                                      
http://www.cafemom.com/group/29789

 

 

                      

cleanaturalady
by Group Admin on Nov. 30, 2008 at 5:04 PM

I came to reply to this and see that Karin already has it covered. 


 


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