a vent... please note... it's a vent!!!

[KrissyKC]

My daughter is really under my skin!!!

She's 10... has had a problem REPEATEDLY with sneaking food.   Yeah, mostly normal.  

However, this week, I sat down and explained that due to some issues, money was so tight, we are on a serious budget.  I had 30 dollars plus wic to spend on two weeks worth of groceries for a family of 5 (and I'm pregnant and diabetic!!!)

I do have a little extra money, to fall back on for a few extra's next week but I'm hoping to make it.

Anyway, I talked with my daughter, without scaring her or making it heavy or anything... hoping to get this child on the same page with us.  

Last night, I made double meat sauce for spagetti, so I could save half for two days later and make spagetti again.   We used it sparingly on our spagetti....

There was a TON left!   after we finished eating, my 10 year old went to wash dishes.   I usually have her do all the regular dishes, then I come out and clean the stove, counter, and wash the heavier dishes she can't handle.  

While she was alone in the kitchen she ate so much of the left over meat sauce there is about a fourth of a cup left.  

I fed her well for dinner.   They had a medium sized bowl of fruit salad, a veggie, butter bread, milk, and a good portion of spagetti.   I'm surprised that much sauce even fit in her stomach!!!

Anyway, I was pretty angry and had to walk away.   I'm really struggling with providing food this week and she KNEW it... but her little selfish side came out and she only thought about what she wanted.

I think I have an idea of how God sometimes must feel when we behave that way....

*sigh*

I am punnishing her... but I'm letting her have the consequences of her actions.   On the day we were GOING to have the spagetti, she already ate more than her share and can go without dinner that day.  I'm letting that consequence be her punnishment.   I hope it's a good choice.

I don't know what else to do.

[dazguti]

Or maybe give her dinner but without the yummy sauce..?

[buzymom93]

this is a good idea... just give her some noodles.. since she already ate the sauce...

Quoting dazguti:

Or maybe give her dinner but without the yummy sauce..?

[dougiesmom]

This wouldn't work as a "punishment" for any of my kids; they love plain noodles just as much as with sauce. ;) When our daughter was 6 or 7, she started getting up in the middle of the night and sneaking into food, but her crimes were more along the lines of licking all the frosting off her sister's birthday's cake. :/ She lost desserts for two weeks or so for that. I do believe that making the punishment fit the crime usually makes a more lasting impression, but at the same time, if the punishment's too far off, it won't connect in their minds. Missing one meal won't kill her; I'd even feed her a larger lunch that day so she doesn't actually starve, but she still has to watch everyone else eat while she has nothing.

Quoting buzymom93:

this is a good idea... just give her some noodles.. since she already ate the sauce...

Quoting dazguti:

Or maybe give her dinner but without the yummy sauce..?

[micheledo]

I am so sorry.  :(

Assuming she is still hungry and that is why she is eating - does she have birthday or Christmas money?  OR a bank account?  Maybe take her with you when you go grocery shopping and allow her to pick out some fruits and veggies that will be hers to use when she is still hungry - then let her pay for them out of her money.  (That may also help her understand how selfish it is to eat everyone's food - if someone were to take one of HERS).

[LostTheSlipper]

Did she really eat it or did she pour it down the drain or something?  It sounds odd she could eat that much after having a big dinner. Mega-growth spurt?

[KrissyKC]

She's not still hungry, she's an overeater.   I was growing up, too, but I was hoping I was raising them differently.   Maybe that heavy hunger drive is genetic??  I dunno.  

I hear those moms at McD's or something trying to cajole their children INTO eating, and I'm like, I've never once had to tell my kids just eat one more bite!!!   I usually have to cut them off and control their portion sizes.   She especially gets moody when we tell her no to seconds, or thirds.  

At the same time, they will eat broiled fish, brocolli, salad, etc...   so I'm happy with WHAT they will eat, it's more of a how MUCH they want to eat.  I also give a lot more seconds on the healthy things like this.

And yes, she ate it all... it was about 5 cups of heavy meat sauce, and yes, she would eat it.   She wouldn't pour it down the drain, it was a thick meat sauce, it wouldn't have went down the drain that easily!!   I am really surprised she didn't puke!

***regarding sneaking, she will sneak the peanut butter, not just a lick, but spoonful after spoonful.   Also, when she sneaks cookies, it's not just one or two, I go to get them out and there's two left in the package and I just opened them yesterday.

[buzymom93]

they sell locks for refriderators and you could get those magnetic locks for the cupboards like at the drs office... that might help some..

Quoting dougiesmom:

This wouldn't work as a "punishment" for any of my kids; they love plain noodles just as much as with sauce. ;) When our daughter was 6 or 7, she started getting up in the middle of the night and sneaking into food, but her crimes were more along the lines of licking all the frosting off her sister's birthday's cake. :/ She lost desserts for two weeks or so for that. I do believe that making the punishment fit the crime usually makes a more lasting impression, but at the same time, if the punishment's too far off, it won't connect in their minds. Missing one meal won't kill her; I'd even feed her a larger lunch that day so she doesn't actually starve, but she still has to watch everyone else eat while she has nothing.

Quoting buzymom93:

this is a good idea... just give her some noodles.. since she already ate the sauce...

Quoting dazguti:

Or maybe give her dinner but without the yummy sauce..?