where do you draw the line?

[Precious333]

Ok, its about homeschooling again. I have drawn the line with my husband before
on certain issues. For instance I said the church is mandatory for our children.
Now, when it comes to homeschooling I don't know where to submit and where to
draw the line. So far I don't have a clear answer, and I have been asking God. I
have gotten a lot of answers to certain things, the most recently I did have
confirmantion that He did place homeschooling on my heart. Now, its what to do,
since my husband is still not for it at all. My view on the public school
system, is that they are very anti Christain, and that secularism is a new
religion. Also, all the stories now about school are just horrifying. One
recently about a class of kindergarteners in NY where the children were doing
sexual acts on eachother behind the teacher's back. This haunts me, especially
when I think about my elemantry school (which would be the school that Damien
would go to) there were cases where things like this happened in our school with
the 4th and 5th graders. Thankfully I wasn't directly affected. Then in Jr high
I did incounter someone who acted inapproprately with me, and I was too ashamed
to say anything. Then in a highschool that a friend of mine daughter attends,
she was being bullied and harrassed by several girls and just recently at this
same highschool a boy jumped to his death at school. This is suppose to be one
of the top rated schools in our area! Anyway, I'm sure you all have heard of
these type of stories, and I don't want to live in fear, but at the same time my
job is to raise up my children in the LORD, and to protect them from this type
of things. I'm thinking about talking to my husband sometimes about these
things. Maybe saying that I don't want them in school until they can atleast
clearly communicate what happens in the classroom to us. When I visited the
school I noticed some classrooms where there were like 30 kids, and only one
adult in the room. One teacher cannot keep their eye on 30 kids! Also, I don't
know these teachers personally, or anyone else at that school. Why should I
trust them with my children?

Anyways, thats just one more reason to homeschool, and I don't know whether to
put my foot down, or not. I really want to just say "absolutely NOT" but I don't
if would be underminding my husband's authority and leadership. So, where do I
draw the line?

Julia

PS. I would also say that I have to been in the class the entire time, but I
have two other kids that need me throughout the day. I don't feel right about
leaving them 5 days a week.

[Kaylon]

Julia,

I am sorry you are having a hard time with your husband coming to homeschooling.   Have you sat and talked with him in depth on the subject and why it is he is against homeschooling?   Have you shown him the many benefits and let him know as a family, and you as a Mother, feel God has called you to homeschool your children and protect them?   If so,  I would revisit this again with him.   

I understand totally why you don't want your children in the public school system.   The public school systems are getting worse with each passing day and having dealt with them myself makes me very sad for all the children that have to go to public system.    I understand not everyone has the same motive in life as mine, to raise my children in our Lord, Jesus Christ and to raise Godly, Christian men.     

 I pray your husband listens to your needs and considers your decision to teach, protect, and raise your children.   Although, I believe we must submit to our husbands.   I, myself, would not go against my husband's wishes (as hard as it would be).  However, I know my husband supports and wants the very best for our children.  (not saying your husband doesn't!!!).    Pray  that your husband will have a change of heart on homeschooling and may his eyes be opened,  revisit with him with an open heart and I am praying for your family.     

[Bethsunshine]

My husband and I are attending marriage classes on Wednesday nights, and the topic the other night was this very thing, submission. Our pastor said that true submission isn't when we agree with our husbands, but when we disagree. Rebelling against our husbands' wishes only makes things worse. Sometimes, just keeping our mouths shut and letting them make their "stupid" decisions ( his words) makes the biggest impact, when the decision falls apart.  As much as you don't want to hear this, I believe you need to submit to your husband on this. Putting your foot down and homeschooling against his wishes will only cause more strife in your marriage. I also believe that if this is truly God's will for you to homeschool, He will change your husband's heart and mind. God will bless you for submitting to your husband.Does your husband truly understand your fears about sending your kids to public school? Does he have a plan if something does happen to them at school?

[aetrom]

I think in this case the best you can do for the moment is provide your children with the knowledge to protect them in the case of extreme. Yes, there are horrible stories, there are also great ones! Jim Burns has some books for teaching children about sex/etc in a christian base. I have not seen them yet, but there are probably others out there.

Sadly abuse happens in more than just a public school system. I was molested by my best friend's father who was an elder in our church! So I would say it's important to arm your children with knowledge so they know. I have already talked to my 6 year old about what "abuse" looks like in a way he can understand. and I will keep talking to him about it as he gets older. my youngest at 3 at the moment is too young but probably by 4 I will start with him too.

anyway, I say all that to say you can protect your children, or try... but it is not going to be the public school system that is your biggest/only threat.

I am reminded of the verse "Some trust in chariots, others in horses but we will trust in the Lord our God" or something like that. I draw courage and faith in that in difficult issues in my life or where I am fearful or worried....

[Precious333]

Thank you everyone! I will have to have another discussion with my DH soon. I will wait on God for the timing, sometimes I notice I jump the gun too soon. My friend suggested doing something like what Queen Esther did. I am already fasting and praying. Others around me are doing the same. I think the next step is sit down and approach my husband again with these things.

[grannywilson]

Again I will say that yes, homeschooling is great but a child can get through the public school system and be okay.  My kids have been to both.  In the Christian schools they attended there was theft, drugs, sex and just about everything you can imagine.  You can pray for a Christian school teacher.  There are Christian school teachers in the public school system.  You can volunteer.  Of course you cannot volunteer for the whole day buty you can keep a handle on what is going on.  You can also teach your child at home about right and wrong.  I am sure you will do just that.  If your husband says he is against homeschooling then you adjust.  You just get resentful.  You go the alternate route. I think there is more than this issue in your life.  You made a commitment and you have kids.  They need stable people in their lives.

[Precious333]

Quoting grannywilson:

Again I will say that yes, homeschooling is great but a child can get through the public school system and be okay.  My kids have been to both.  In the Christian schools they attended there was theft, drugs, sex and just about everything you can imagine.  You can pray for a Christian school teacher.  There are Christian school teachers in the public school system.  You can volunteer.  Of course you cannot volunteer for the whole day buty you can keep a handle on what is going on.  You can also teach your child at home about right and wrong.  I am sure you will do just that.  If your husband says he is against homeschooling then you adjust.  You just get resentful.  You go the alternate route. I think there is more than this issue in your life.  You made a commitment and you have kids.  They need stable people in their lives.

I understand that, there are many christain kids in the public school system. I was one of them too. So were my sister, my cousins etc. My sister and my cousins all have Christain parents, Godfearing parents, who taught their children, and yet their children strayed from God and are still don't want anything to do with God or the bible, and my children are even more so in danger because my husband is not a believer, and even more so is against anything to do with God. I know God has no boundaries, but we are to train up our children in the LORD, and when they are spending most of their time where schools are saying there is no God, and this is the way to live, its confusing to them. How much more confused will they be when their very own dad does not believe.

[grannywilson]

Were you a believer when you married him?  The Bible says a husband can become a believer by his wife's example.  You have a lot of resentment in you.  Not sure why....

[Precious333]

Quoting grannywilson:

Were you a believer when you married him?  The Bible says a husband can become a believer by his wife's example.  You have a lot of resentment in you.  Not sure why....

I was a believer, but I was not trusting God with everything in my life. It was a process for me, and believe me, I know first hand my mistake.

As far as resentment goes. I wouldn't call it that. I am very passionate about homeschooling. I am also angry at the godlessness and secularism in schools. In our area in particular its a struggle. Our state has just decided to require children to be taught about homosexuality as young as kindergarten.

[grannywilson]

I hear your passion about school for your kids. There will be a struggle for you in all areas of life.  My prayers are with you.  You may get down to the kids go to public school or you live your life without a father for your kids.  At that point you would no doubt have to work and you would not be able to homeschool the kids. 

[aetrom]

I think honestly that this can be another attempt at as you said "trusting God with everything" in your life. you may not like it. But God IS in control and you need to live by His word, and part of that says  submitting to your husband. I honestly believe that if you are living in the Word of God even if things are hard and don't seem "right" (think of David and Bathsheba and the little boy who died) God is faithful and God will honor your sacrifice.