I can't believe I'm even considering this...UPDATE at bottom
...but we're seriously thinking about giving state cyber charter school another try! I am just SO burned out and tired of traditional homeschooling! I am dreading the thought of starting another school year, to the point of tears.Last year was nothing but constant misery. I need a break from being a teacher; I need to get back to being Mommy again. I am so sick of printing up worksheets, making assignments and checking schoolwork.I need someone else to be the heavy and hold the kids accountable so I don't have to be the one to do it all the time. I hate the thought of being under state regulations again but I hate the thought even more of another year of assigning work and checking work and repeating myself over and over again. I would love to enroll them in an online Christian school but we can't afford it. Public school is not an option and sending them back to the private Christian school where they were before is even less of an option. Please do not suggest unschooling! I know my kids. If I don't give them anything to do, they will do nothing. This summer is proof of that. Unless I give them chores to do and make them go downstairs and exercise, they will sit around and mope all day long. Getting them to even go swimming in our pool or go for a bike ride is a chore. They've been dealing with some difficult stuff recently, a broken friendship, and it has really taken a toll on their emotions. They just got back from camp this past Friday night and I hoped camp would pull them out of their funk, but they're right back where they were before they went to camp. I am ready to snap! The past week while they were gone was so relaxing. I haven't been this relaxed in I don't know when. I was hoping that when they came home, that their attitudes would be better but they're not. I can't force them to not be sad and hurt about the broken friendship ( long story). I can't do anything about it at all.I feel like a failure because I can't handle homeschooling anymore. We did cyber school our first year but didn't like it. The one we're considering now is a different one. Nothing is set in stone yet but we're leaning towards cyber.
Sorry I'm rambling!!\
UPDATE! We registered them last week for cyber school. We'll see how things go. If it doesn't work out, we can withdraw them and go back to what we were doing.
On another, somewhat unrelated note, please continue to keep my children in prayer with regards to the broken friendship. I thought they were starting to move on or at least deal with that situation better but apparently not. My youngest son asked my husband if he could talk to him about something Saturday evening and it was about the broken friendship. He is still really upset about it. It's a long, complicated story but the Cliff Notes version is that my kids can no longer be friends with the boy across the street, that they've been friends with for several years, because his mother is a nutcase. She lied about them, accused them of saying things that we know for a fact they didn't say, and also did some other things, that if we had known were going on, we wouldn't have allowed them to go over there. Like I said, it's a long story.
I'm having a hard time with this because there is NOTHING my husband or I can do to fix it. It's just one of those really hard lessons about life that unfortunately, they will deal with again.
There are also some other things going on ( which have been going on for a while actually) that have turned me into a very bitter,very angry person and I don't want to be this way. On top of everything else, my 13 year old son is going through the angry, moody, sulky, sullen teenager stage and I am on the verge of shipping him off to military school or dropping him off in the middle of nowhere.