Should I tell her to fight?

[miss_kalise03]

My little girl is 6 and in the first grade last year a little boy picked on her on the bus and sent her home crying. This year a little girl spit in her hair from the top of the steps two days in a row.Now I'm not a fighter but if someone spit on me I'm gonna fight back I told her to do the same even though I am fully aware of the consequences. She is an only child and doesnt have anyone to stand up for her when I am not there. She is very passive and doesnt want to get in trouble. What would you all tell your child to do? I plan on talking to the teacher about it. I dont want her to be the kid that gets bullied at school so should I tell my sweet girl to fight? or continue to tell the teacher who obviously imo isnt doing much to stop it.

[grateful_fd]

As a parent I would tell my child to fight back. But as a teacher, I advise you to inform the principal in person that your child is being bullied and you want something to be done to stop it. Sometimes you have to bypass the teacher and go directly to the head in order to get some results. (By the way don't let them tell you that the principal is unavailable demand to see him or her. The squeaky wheel gets the worm.) 

[jinxmom]

I agree with the pp.  From the time my dd was little (and boy has she stuck with it) I've told her if someone hits, smack, spit etc to you then defend yourself.  If she continues to let them get away with it then she'll be a target thruout and that would not be good [sigh]. 

[miss_kalise03]

Thanks for the advice I am gonna definately talk to the principal about it and I think me and the little one are gonna practice our boxing moves on the wii this weekend I know she can fight I seen her fight at daycare and with her big cousins plenty of time but when it come to getting  in trouble at school she is scared but I cant have her being bullied at school

[POOKA123]

I had this same problem, I told my daughter, to hit back, and  hit back hard, She was the only child for a long time, so i know what you are feeling.

I would act out scenarios for her, and they would work, You know being the only kid she had no one to fight with, no one to hurt her, or to show her bad, she only knew what i showed her, and it didnt have to do with fighting, LOL,

Now she knows some one hit you, you hit them back and make your way to a teacher or counselor quick, and let them know, my mama said, if anyone hit me to hit them back.

[mom2mybabes]

Although I agree with everyone on teaching your dd to fight, I also suggest that you talk with her on when she's to fight and when she's to inform you and a teacher what's going on.

Its hard on kids period who's not use to fighting regardless if they're the only kid or not. I have 8 kids and out of the 8, I  have 1 who will not fight for anything in this world. She's a peace solving child and believes highly in God. She has had her scrapes with girls and of course I had to step in to rectify the situation BUT I'm still working on her to defend herself when she needs to...Now, I have another son, who would fight at a drop of a hat and had me up at his school everyday...but it took a while to get him to fight because he was also a peace abiding child. I kept telling him to fight back, fight back and once he did, I could never get him to stop. So I'm taking a different approach with my eight year old, hoping that she won't allow anyone to bully her but to stand up for herself when she needs to.

Good luck...

 

[madcat500]

go straight to the shcool boerd do not talk to the shcool first that willget there attn. and be mean.

[vanillacaramel]

I mostly agree with everyone else....my DD is an only child too (7years old), and I have taught her when to fight back...I teach it as a last resort only...but also do have a talk with the teacher, and anyone above him/her. 

[SunFlower700]

My sons don't like confrontations and don't like to fight.  My oldest son had a problem with a kid who was double his weight in his school fighting my son one day.  I've always told my kids to walk away when you can, but if you can't and the teachers are not doing anything, then by all means fight back out of self-defense.  After the first incident and the parent volunteer not doing anything but giving my son heck also for defending himself, I confronted the principal about this and that my son ended up getting in trouble for defending himself from getting injured.  I told him that I don't tolerate bullying and if it has to get to that point will do something legally about it.  After that one incident, principal had a talk with the kid and there has never been a problem since. 

I would only advise fighting back in self-defense, and that's only if your child is being physically harmed and you have gone to the principal to get the issue resolved.  Next step is the the school board if the principal is going to sit on his / her arse and do nothing.  I wouldn't advise fighting because someone's ignorant little brat spit in your daughter's hair.  Your daughter could get seriously injured. 

[gwenilicious]

My oldest daughter (now 20) was the same way. She would come home crying and no matter how much I told her to fight back she wouldn't! When we lived at an apartment complex this kid was picking on my daughter so I made my daughter hit her back and dared the little girl that she better not even think about hitting my daughter again! I knew the little girl would probably go tell her mom and I should have stayed out of it but when its your kid you do what you can to protect them! Even to this day she won't fight back. Her freshman year in college she had a room mate from hell! I thought I was gonna have to take a trip to the college and put this girl in check but I told my daughter that she is an adult now and she has to learn to fight her own battles. My daughter is very petite and she looks 15 instead of 20 so people pick on her because she's so tiny. But had that girl laid a hand on my daughter I probably would have been in jail right now! Eventually your daughter may reach her breaking point and fight back or she may just be like my daughter and do nothing. I hope you find a good solution for this problem though. GOOD LUCK!

[aquarian26]

Listen I have a 10yr old son who is also very passive and naturally a sweet person (so unlike me lol) but I tell him to fight back and you should do the same.  The important thing is to first talk to the teacher yourself and also the principal at the school.  Let them know you won't tolerate bullying and that if anything happens you give your child persmission to fight back.  I always tell my son that fighting isn't good and when possible try to ignore people as much as possible and walk away when you can but if someone put their hands on you or coming at you like they're ready then you protect yourself.  Fighting isn't the answer but letting someone physically abuse you for the rest of life is not the answer either and sometimes putting people in their place is needed, that way they won't think they can continue to get away with it.  I believe you should have this talk with her so she won't grow up allowing others to hurt her but also know the difference when she can ignore things.  I hate when kids do these things, it urks me.  I let it be known in that school that I don't allow my son to hit first or bully therefore no one else will be allowed to do it to him and I tell him that don't worry about getting in trouble in school, if he know he didn't start it and was protecting himself then mommy will handle that school.