If you found out your babysitter has HIV/AIDS would you still let them babysit your kids?
Just wondering.......A person on my sons fathers side got into a fight with a man that has HIV. The man bit him on the lip and broke the skin to where he needed stitches. My sons uncle also bit the man on his fingers real bad, broke the skin( blood) and the dude needed stitches. So as of right now the uncle does not know if he contracted the disease yet because he has to go for testing as all of this recently happened. My thing is this, I don't have the best relationship with his dad side of the family to ponder if he would intentionally give it to my son or other reasons. So I am torn as to if I am just thinking crazy or is this typical thinking of a mother to protect her child.
I'm not sure how the fight relates to babysitting though? Did the guy babysit your son before?
To me, unless you think there's a chance the babysitter may be a sexual deviant and do harm to or molest your child (which should send big red flags to begin with), AIDS really doesn't pose a threat to a child being watched by someone with the disease. As long as it's a person I trust, I don't see a problem with it. There are lots of people that we come into contact with and do daily transactions with everyday that have afflictions more contagious than AIDS. It's the more contagious diseases that give more to be worried about in my opinion.
I saw this guy on the news, well both the guy who was bitten and the guy who bit him on the lip. What a horrible thing to have happen and to find out the guy who bit and caused stitches has HIV. Would I allow someone with HIV / AIDs babysit my children? As long as it was a person I trusted and thought was responsible (wether they were HIV positive or not), then I would let them watch my child.
I don't imagine that a blood test is a part of the baby sitter interview, so I don't expect to know if an individual has infected blood. If I did know, something like that would not affect my opinion of the person.
With the men and the biting, I thought that saliva does not transfer he virus but can kill it?
Quoting SunFlower700:I saw this guy on the news, well both the guy who was bitten and the guy who bit him on the lip. What a horrible thing to have happen and to find out the guy who bit and caused stitches has HIV. Would I allow someone with HIV / AIDs babysit my children? As long as it was a person I trusted and thought was responsible (wether they were HIV positive or not), then I would let them watch my child.
This
I will be the devil's advocate, and switch the diagnosis to you....Suppose that you were the person who was assualted, and the diagnosis placed you in the postion of having AIDS/HIV, and everyone refused contact with you, and did not allow you to be alone with your children? how would you feel? Probably isolated and angry and furious, because the A-AM community allows stereotypes and lack of understanding or openness to discuss the issue or understand the ways to prevent the transmission...
First, I think that you should locate the lastest information of HIV/AIDS transmission. since the assailant was HIV positive, and her bit the BIL, and if the BIL's skin was broken, from the bite, then there maybe the possibly of transmission, however, new medical technology has proved testing to be done to assist the newly positive in remaining good health early.
Second, I would ask yourself, if you would need more compassion, than scare tactics placed upon yourself, if the tables were turned... I am quite sure the young man is worried, but, ridicule and separtion from his support family is not the road to recovery and support, but, to death and isolation... Another is your own fears and lack of knowledge, and your own identification about your own behaviors be influencing your decisions?
Third, make sure the BIL gets the testing done, the earlier the better. think about accompanying him, so you know it was done. He will need to have testing done, initially, and 3, 6, and 9 months, based on those results, then he has the certainity that he is or is not infected...
Four, help him obtain some counseling to help him reslove the issues of assualt, and the possiblity of HIV transmission. Most people are afraid to be tested or know the outcome, and then they denied their status, further transmitted the disease in our community... Especially, education about bloodborne pathogen transmission is an essential class that the entire family could attend... You did care for him, before the attack, would you throw him, away, afterwards.... sounds heartless to me...
Fifth, is this BIL a sexual deviant? Has he done something to make you feel he would infect your child through sexual contact, IV use, blood transfusion? Otherwise, if he has not shown this behavior before, why worry, now? I recommend that you, Dad, and BIL sit down and discuss the transmission of HIV/AIDS, if this diagnosis becomes a reality, otherwise do not shun the BIL, if it is not necessary, he needs support not isolation....
Sixth, Remember to discuss this with the Dad, and others as applicable. but, to be a person that begins to deny contact, even before the results are in, seems very insensitive... that is like trying a black man for murder, before the trail, but, if you want a true relationship for your children with their uncle, then work to maintain, with an open discussion that is supportive, communicative, truthful and non-discriminating...
Seventh, I want to ask you if you ever placed the same restrictions on these other people who babysit your children, especially since you do not know their HIV/AIDS status? And from my dealing with the Af-Am community, they tend not to be open to obtaining or discussing the issues of HIV/AIDS, and it is discriminatory to prohibit an individual from employment, housing, etc, based on their medical status... IDEA Act of 2009... and as another poster wrote, when did HIV/AIDS status become a job qualification? OR a family qualification?
Eigthth, the HIV saliva virus cannot survive in the natural air, it dies almost immediately. however, if the assailant's lip was busted, then it can transmit into the skin of the person being bit, called blood to blood transmission. New research is providing HIV medications upon intial testing to strenghten the T-cells on the newly infected... however, the amount of past infections, such as frequent sexually transmitted diseases, immunity illnesses, previously low T_cells, can hendar the road to recovery, that is why it is important to obtain a baseline HIV/AIDS test, to make sure of one's status... the more STD/STI's the lower one's immunity capabilities become over time... and I have not even mentioned what happens, if he had immunity illnesses, and never had them treated.... that goes for everyone, including, all African-american women, we need to take charge of our lives, and stop the influences of unfaithful men and women from taking away our destiny to a long fulling life....
Ninth, Sit down with your BIL, baby dad, and discuss the rules when with your child, it is better to be supportive and concerned, because you have issues you need to address with the BIL in person, such as the methods to prevent transmission to you and others, especially your child, so that they can have the "best relationship," that is INCLUSIVE. If you handle it properly, it could be the saving grace to the BIL, who probably needs to know his family is still there for them...
Tenth, if the child is old enough, explain simple rules of handwashing, etc. When he is old enough, it is with the consent of the BIL, that you should discuss his status, if it show he is a carrier... And also, talk to oyur BIL about saving himself and others with proper use of condoms, etc... He will go through a period of anger, rage, etc, if the results are the unexpected, but, by supporting him with counseling and communication, he and your family can live with HIV/AIDS, as a positive outcome, and not one where the family structure deteriorates, and leaves a small child without his uncle to hold his hand through life....
My kids paternal gma has HIV and I still let her watch the kids. There arent too many people who would willing and knowingly put a child in danger of getting HIV. I believe there has to be blood to blood or bodily fluid to bodily fluid contact for HIV to be exchanged. If they're ever both bleeding then there's a big problem! lol!
I just don't particularly care for them because they don't help my son or come around. They invite me to things and I show up but when I invite them to his parties, they never come or bring gifts. They have never bought him any gifts or invite him to family functions, but because that is his dads side, I have to respect that they are family and if they ask for him to come over, I let him go.
Quoting tyesmommy:
I said yes but the whole bitting thing, throws me completely off, grown men bitting, and if you don't like that side of the family anyway, why would u let them babysit?
ABG Season 2- June 14th
- Skipsmom
on Oct. 28, 2009 at 12:40 PM