Okay so I feel like I am about to lose it, but before I do maybe I should hear what you have to say.
This is kind of hard to get out so I thank you in advance for baring with me. I am a college senior God willing graduating in May/a first time mommy/and wife to one of the greatest men I've ever met. I would say given all that I am blessed beyond measure. So what's the problem? My demons are.
So my brother began touching, "humping", and harassing me when I was around 8 so he must have been 12. I'm not sure how long it went on, but it felt like eternity. So one night I mustered up all the strength I had in my body to tell my mom. The result: She cried, beat him with an extention cord, called my dad, gave me no love and asked me if I did anything to him to make him "molest" me. So on the way to bed I see her hugging him and kissing him and telling him she was sorry. I however, received not one hug or even a talking to. The rest of my family acted like it never happened.
Fast forward to me being 13 and him around 17. I guess I put this whole experience out of my mind until I woke up next to him with my bra off and him awake laying next to me. From then on I would be terrotized by him reaching into my pants, ripping my shirts off and busting in on me while taking a bath. I never told anyone because I guess i figured they didn't do anything before why would they do anything now.
To make a long story short. While being pregnant I started to be haunted by my memories, while my mother forced the issue with him and me. So I finally told her, she cried and went back to acting like I never said anything about it. Now she has him living with her and my 14 year old little sister. And im told she is saying she doesn't know who to believe and probably could careless about how I feel.
I have been through so much with these people that everytime I talk to them I end up feeling, sad, depressed, and alone. I'm thinking about not talking to her or anybody else who choses him over me.
What do you think?
And thank you for the advice in advance:-)
Nafeesah
Goodness I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am that you had to endure all you have and I am praying for you and your family. I'm not an expert at this stuff so the only advice I can give you is that if you're really concerned about your little sister and your brother abusing her then maybe you should report him. But not just for her but for you both because you'll get the justice you deserve seeing him pay for what he did and God forbid if he ever does anything remotely horrible to your sister you don't want her to constantly live in that with no one to help her. If no one is willing to step up then you can to protect her. I wish you the best and I'm praying for you all.
Yes, I have multiple personalities. And Umm, no none of them like you! 
Quoting Bunsmommy:
My first and most valuable piece of advice is to tell you to get you some counseling immediately. Not calling you crazy, but from experience I can tell you, you going and lounging on a couch and unloading all of what's in you is going to begin the healing process. Has your sister approached you yet and said anything about him touching her? You might want to have a conversation w/her IMMEDIATELY and then do what no one did for you, call the authorities! Save your sister. Your brother clearly has some issues and needs help, for all you know he could be the neighborhood chester, and unfortunately your mom is in denial so she really doesn't give a damn about who is right! I also suggest you learn the statute of limitations regarding rape/molestation in your state b/c you need to seek some type of justice for yourself! Good luck to you, and God bless.
this is sooo sad bc most molest youth get the same out come, parents no wanting to believe its true, the sista is right get this out there so u can more forward, when i was young i had cousins who would do the feel up thing also but i nipped it in the bud! come to find out others had been through the same thing but didn't say anything so i just trickled down to me and my sisters but thats where it ended. Also think about the 14yr who is leaving there now she could b next...God bless and good luck sista
"I stand for something, so don't think i will fall for anything"
I went through something similar to this with my aunt's boyfriend (staying with her at the time). By the grace of God my mom moved and brought me with her. I know how angry you are because my aunt passed and I had nothing to say to her because she didn't protect me. My regret as a a Christian is that when I moved away I should have maybe wrote a letter telling her how I feel and then making sure that I at least contacted her every once in awhile. Having said that, this is your mother we are talking about. Counseling at first is my advice. And I can't say how to handle your situation with your mother but I would prayer diligently about this situation and focus on your family and your goals. I am so sorry. I can't help to feel sorry for your little sister. I hope and pray that somehow you can be an intricant part in protecting her. But I don't know how without ..........
God Bless.
OMG - If this doesn't hit home...I feel your pain...I feel what you're going through and I can say "I believe you" and since you know it happened, its time that you begin dealing with this, regardless IF mom wants to accept it or not...see, some people feel that if we don't make a big deal out of it and keep it within the family, it will go away and most people feel, that what's done at our home stay in our home and no one else to be involved...well, since you have a 14 year old sister living at home with your perverted brother, its time for you to take a stand for her and make it known what he's done to you....if you don't do it for yourself, do it for her....cause you know if he did it to you, there's a 99.9% chance that your little sister will become his next victim....
First of all, let me tell you how sorry i am that this situation happened to u and If your mom is not acknowledging this horrible incident that ur brother did i would sit her down and seriously have a talk with her now that your 14 year old sister is there in his presence and if that don't work out than i would put it upon myself to talk to the authorities b/c he has a serious issue that needs to be handled, your story broke my heart when your mom chastised u instead of comforting you and to have her beat him than turn around and apologize to him was unbelievable, Good luck with whatever happens in the future.
I'm sorry that you've had to experience that. Those are not your demons those are your brother's demons. Have you confronted him about the way he's made you feel all these years?I pray that you will be released from the pain that you feel and I suggest that you have the talk with your sister to see if he's touching her. She may be afraid to tell anyone but you're in the position now to help her and keep her from experiencing the same things you've endured. As for your Mom I'm sure it hurts that she doesn't believe you and didn't protect you but for your sanity stop worrying about her focus on you! Telling your story on CM is a start to the healing process and truely forgiving Mom and him for what they did is the only way for your to move foward. Forgive not forget. Many blessings on your road to heal your heart! Take Care and congratulations on your accomplishments!
YOU NEED TO GET SOME THERAPY ASAP!!! I WOULD SUGGEST YOU TRY TO TELL YOUR BROTHER TO SEEK SOME AS WELL. THERE IS AN ISSUE THAT HE NEEDS TO GET FIXED.
TALK TO YOUR LITTLE SISTER AS WELL. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE A PRAYING WOMAN BUT PRAY AND LOOK TO THE LORD FOR GUIDANCE. AND IF YOU NEVER HAVE OPEN UP TO YOUR HUSBAND YOU WILL NEED HIS SUPPORT IN ALL OF THIS. YOUR MOTHER MAY NOT BE ABLE TO EVER ACCEPT WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD HER ABOUT YOUR BROTHER BUT YOU HAVE TO ONE DAY FIND IT WITHIN YOU TO FORGIVE NOT JUST HER BUT YOUR BROTHER AS WELL.
I KNOW ITS GOING TO BE A LONG ROAD BUT IN THE END YOU WILL COME OUT AS REFINED GOLD!!!! STAY BLESSED AND I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU
My cousin use to molest me when I was 5- 8 until my mother and I moved to Ontario. When I was 13 years old I started to get flash backs of my cousin molesting me. I couldnt take it no more so I told my mother and she called the police on him and he got arrested for it. We learned that he did that to sister before he molested me and my auntie kicked him out and didnt tell a soul that he did to her daughter. So my mother let him stay with us and thats how it happened to me. Everyone in the family was mad at me and my mother for along time and try to keep it hush. I do not associate myself with them at all I stay far and I have never felt better. My advice to you to seperate from the people who are causeing such pain and distrass in your life because you need to heel emotionaly, spritualy and physically. You have been a victim far to long and you being around that mess will always make you a victim. You need counciling ,sprituality, and be surrounded by the people who really love you. It hard to But find it in your heart to forgive her and your brother. It took me 15 years too and a lot of counceling. Untill my brother told me the best refenge is forgivness. Because it sets you free and thats when healing takes place. My concern is for your little sister because if he has done that to you he probibly has done it to your sister. It makes me so angry when parents know that their children are molesting other children and keep hush about it and choose not to do anything about it. I am praying for you and you are an over comer and you are strong because of it. I am praying for you.
Thanks You SOOOO much my sisters!!!!
You guys have no idea how grateful I am for this site. I was starting to feel like I was going crazy and was also beginning to blame myself like "Maybe I did do something to make him do that to me" or "Maybe I did make it all up in mind". So all of your advice about going to get help could nt be any truer. Because like I said this really began to bother me when I found out I was pregnant with a little girl. That is why I said something in the first place. So I am really going to into it.
My husband has probably been the biggest blessing in my life, thus far. I told him from day one my experiences just so he knew not to get his feelings hurt if I cringed when he touched me a certain kind of way or had a problem trusting him altogether. But her understood all of it has NEVER judged me and reassures me ever chance that he gets that it wasn't my fault and THEY are the crazy one.
Thank you also for all the concern regarding my little sister. She was there when I broke down and told my mother. My sister and I are super close. When she was born I became more like her second mother, we talk about everything. She knows how I feel about him living there, she's the one who told me cause my mother wasn't even going to say anything. I ask her almost everyday if she feels unsafe and she lets me know everything is ok.
Yes I am a deeply spiritual woman because I know without GOD I would not have made it this far. I do pray one day he will take away this pain, but I also know I have to do my part. I think I'm going to start by not having a relationship with my mom. I will be hard because I love family, but not at the expense of my sanity.
You guys are truly the best and a blessing as well. Thank you for taking the time out to even read and respond.
ABG Season 2- June 14th
- napreciousfe
on Dec. 4, 2009 at 12:34 AM