Kids on Meds

[ikesmommy]

My son is five and in kindergarten. This is his first time in a full-time formal school atmosphere. He is also an only child. When he gets to school, it is like a holiday for him to be around all those children and activities. Since school has started, he has been bringing home remarks such as, not following directions, had timeout today, excessive talking, won't sit still, etc. I was listening to a friend of mine whose daughter is far worse and she said that since her daughter was put on medication (Vyvanse), she has been a normal child. She sits through class, listens, has become a top reader in her class, etc.

I come from a family that refuses most forms of medications and gives small children their room to grow uninhibited. When I told my mother this morning that I considered getting my son evaluated for a medication like Vyvanse, I thought she was going to have an aneurysm. She yelled about how all these yuppie doctors are putting it out there that children should not be children and more like zombie conformists for the benefit of the teacher. She said kindergartners should not be expected to sit through lessons for so many hours out of the day; instead they should be learning through movement and experience.

I agree with my mom that children should be children. I would hate to see my son in some ridiculous trance for the sake of learning in school. However, I don't want to keep getting these notes and calls home saying that I need to do something about my child either.

What do you think about medicating children?

[keisha121]

I agree with your mom, even though I am a educator, once kids are on meds. They are a different person. Give him sometime and let him adjust to school, before you go that route.

[LeeLeeCandleGrl]

I agree with your mother. A kindergartener needs to learn to sit and pay attention. That does not automatically come. If he was older and exhibited other issues I would say to consider it. However, I think too many parents do not realize the environmental aspects of their childs health. If your kid(general) is not eating well then you may have issues. However, I would not be so quick to put him on meds.

Talk to him when he comes home. Work with the teacher to develop a disciplinary plan of action for your son. See if there are some techiniques that can be applied and remind him at home to follow directions and pay attention. I think he sounds like a normal kid.

[tawana12]

We are having the same issue with my 7 year old step son.  He has been having the same issues since Pre-K.  You have to keep in mind that boys are more immature than girls and chances are he is just being a boy and is more active.  Kindergarten is not a time to worry about meds and the like.  It's a time for parents and child to learn about the school system and tweak things at school and at home to help the child to get into the groove of being a student. The training wheels are still on during Kindergarten so it's okay if your son falls off and messes up while he is learning to ride the "bike" of education.  If he still experiences these issues in 1st grade or 2nd then it's time to worry.  I think that you and the teacher need to work together to come up with a behavioral plan.

A behavioral plan is very important because it will help your son with structure and consequences.  He will understand that good behavior results in good consequences and vice versa.  He will also learn what is expected of him from you and from his teacher.  As long as he is not violent towards others or displaying anti-social behavior (i.e. breaking things etc..) then I don't see this as a major issue right now. 

My step son is now in 1st grade and it's slowly becoming an issue because his impulsivity and his inability to focus is starting to affect his academic performance.  His parents are heavily opposed to getting him evaluated right now but I think that they should even if it's just to rule it out.  Even if he is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD they can still go the non-meds route and just stick with diet and behavioral therapy.  His parents have decided to wait until he is in 2nd grade to get him tested and by that time he will be almost 8.  I think that is a bit too long to wait but that's just my opinion. 

[zmama22]

no meds. this is his first experience in school so of course he is not following the rules. my DD has been in pre-k since 3. she's 5 and still has all the issues you cited. the teacher needs to develop a way to keep him engaged. at this age, it's not his fault - it's theirs.

[FIGGWIFE]

I agree with your mom!!!!I also HATE to put kids on meds.My baby boy is ADHD and I held out as long as possible before putting him on meds.I was really against it but I like yourself kept getting notes home,conferences at school,etc. so I felt like it was the best thing for him while he was at school.When he is at home on breaks or the weekends I usually don't give it to him.It really is bad on lil boys vs. girls.But he is only in kindergarten so it's still a lil early.I didn't do it until he was in 2nd grade.Again I repeat...I HATE to put kids on meds!!!!!!

[jinxmom]

Unfortunately, some kids truly need help therefore meds are an option. I have nothing against medicating kids if its really something that will help them.  I saw the isolation my dd went through b/c she was just being her "normal hyper self" as she puts it.   My dd 16 is med free now.  She was dx at 10 meds at 11 on and off until 15 then she decided no meds and also knows that adhd is not an excuse therefore, her teachers don't know but probably suspect she is. I just new my dd was different from infancy, had no clue about adhd.  I quickly found out it is not a death sentence but can be managed.  Its frustrating for sure but then I think how it is for the person with it.  Kids have no ickling what's going on and even now my dd is just starting to see how different minded she is. I would suggest having him tested just to get a proper diagnoses. Read as much as you can and find a therapist (they can really help).  Routine, structure, calm, communication are key.  Unfortunately, meds aren't a cureall but do help.  It will be trial and error if you go the med right b/c of the various side effects.  At this point, I'm kind of happy my dd isn't on them.  She did it only when in school and wked, vacations etc no meds but if she went w/o for more than 3-4 days GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR i was ready to ............... her lol she was the meanest kid in the world and I knew it was b/c the med was completely out of her system therefore, she and I had to readjust.  Just research there are many good books out there by experts (ppl who have it). (HUGS)  Right now you have to do what's best for ur child.

[dezandry]

i kind of think it should be a last resort, especially with children. There are other alternatives and ways to help children through these behaviors. sometimes it is a sign of something else, like a medical problem or problems at home and sometimes its just a phase and kids try to test limits. finding out what the child's problem is key to help them get through these behaviors, theres usually a reason behind it, and then the teacher and parent can go from there. It is about addressing the child's needs first.

my son is mildly autistic, and he is in a special ed pre-k. His teacher wanted me to test him for ADHD as well. I told her, this wasn't his main problem but I would never medicate him. I did the test, which had questions for older kids cuz usually they diagnose that for older kids and really dismissed those results. My son is very hyperactive and has a lot of energy and even if he does have this he has other issues now as well that I am working on. It takes alot of patience and persistance. it does, but helping my child get through things is my priority, he has fits and does certain behaviors, i do time outs, i follow through with what i tell him like if i tell him we are leaving and he does a certain behavior again, we leave so he knows there are consequences. Some kids do things for attention too or to get their way and test their limits. Its hard, but we as parents and caregivers and teachers need to teach our kids discipline and boundaries. And some kids never are the same when they are medicated. I don't want a zombie for a kid, as much as he tires me out, i don't want it to take away from his loving personality and despite his challenges and issues he is still my little boy.

I do agree that children should learn through many activities, especially young children, usually in a kindergarten or preschool class they go through different activities. Every child learns differently and some have more attention to others, just like us, really, we all have things we like and dislike.

[ikesmommy]

Thanks ladies

[dezandry]

i agree with the momma that said get his teacher to write a behavioral evaluation so you can see how his behavior is at school too. Also I'm getting a behavioral therapist too which im excited about. It was from the regional center here where he got free speech therapy when he was under 3, and now that he's older it continues in school. I had to take a behavioral workshop to qualify too, and that helped alot to learn some new techniques. I just got him evaluated but now its another 4-6 weeks before i actually get a behavioral therapist. He has a lot of therapists: speech therapists, occupational therapists and its really helpful. Also if it becomes a big problem too you can get an individual aid to help your kid, but it probably won't come to that, some classes are so big that its hard to get all the kids to behave and stay focused on one thing. i would ask the school if they had any programs that helped kids with behaviors and get him assessed, it couldn't hurt. I think its best to manage any of those issues when they are younger. goodluck to you.