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If this was your friend, what would you say to her

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 1:23 AM
  • 29 Replies

Hey ladies,

How are you all doing?

My sister is 23 and she came in concerned about her friend. Her friend lives with her mother and her mother is overbearing, the female is going to be 25 with a daughter of her own. She expressed to her mother that she wanted to move out and her mother said to her that she couldnt make it on her own out there in the world and that she would become homeless and that CPS would take away her daughter.

However her mother is charging her rent, utilities, and she has to pay for internet use, she gives her mother five hundred dollars to rent a room from her. She tells her that she doesnt need a place because her home is with her. Now her mother wants to move out of state and buy a house in her name, she uses the electricity in her name and has ran up the bill...

the girl is upset and wants desparately to move out, but is sort of scared to break away from her mother in fear that not only will it tear down the relationship that they have, but she is her mother and wants to respect her mother, but she realizes her mother doesn't look at her as a grown woman, she is still trying to run her life... and I include, run her finances...

WHAT WOULD YOU LADIES SAY TO THIS FEMALE IF SHE WERE YOUR FRIEND

by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 1:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Dabrutiful1
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2012 at 1:39 AM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like my ma...
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rayroe2
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 1:48 AM
2 moms liked this

 I would tell her that she just needs to make that first step to becoming a women her mother is using her and that she can make it on her own.

StillDreaming07
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 1:48 AM
2 moms liked this

I'd say, if she really want to move out, then do so. At 25 with a child, if she doesn't need to be there, she shouldn't. I know she doesn't want to hurt her mom, but at the same time, she has a right to live her life! Her mom will start to come around to the idea once she puts her foot down and tells her she's leaving. She won't really have a choice if she wants a relationship with her grandchild. That's the best I've got.

momandher8
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 1:54 AM


Quoting Dabrutiful1:

Sounds like my ma...


So how are you coping with it? I have a daughter who is also 25 and I love her to death and wouldnt want to hurt her and if I am doing something that is causing her pain, I would rather hear the truth... I may not like it, but I have to adjust.. my daughter at times says mom I am grown and I have to back up, but I am glad this is coming out because its giving me a chance to perhaps think of my own behavior towards my baby...look see I am still calling her my baby..lol

Dabrutiful1
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2012 at 2:13 AM
I'm in my 30's now...one day while she was @ work, I packed our shit and hit it. We were all bad for a minute, but I held my ground bc I'm grown enough to stand my ground.

Quoting momandher8:



Quoting Dabrutiful1:

Sounds like my ma...


So how are you coping with it? I have a daughter who is also 25 and I love her to death and wouldnt want to hurt her and if I am doing something that is causing her pain, I would rather hear the truth... I may not like it, but I have to adjust.. my daughter at times says mom I am grown and I have to back up, but I am glad this is coming out because its giving me a chance to perhaps think of my own behavior towards my baby...look see I am still calling her my baby..lol

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Litlmama87
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2012 at 4:44 AM
3 moms liked this
Is Mommy Dearest going to miss the company, or the money?

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ginene
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2012 at 6:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I would say mommy I love you very much but it's time for me to leave the nest. I need to do it for myself and my baby and prepare to meet my husband one day. I'll still love you and come over but now it's time for me to grow up.
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Chelsea_rh
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 7:16 AM
1 mom liked this
I would tell her to leave. Before I had my baby a few years ago I felt like I needed to move out of my moms house.I had a good friend that let me move in as a roommate. But it was in Ohio...and I've always lived in California. I just left when my mom was at work...left her a nice note. I think the girl should let her mon know that she can and will be able to make it on her own. Her mother might not like it but she will get over it.
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momandher8
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 11:24 AM


Quoting Litlmama87:

Is Mommy Dearest going to miss the company, or the money?


GOOD QUESTION... I want to be fair and say a little of the company as well but it seems money motivated.. moms can be a trip.

PurplWildFlower
by Blaxican #1 on Mar. 30, 2012 at 11:57 AM

 Momma sounds lonely and manipulative.  I would let my friend know that she is using her and to move the hell out before she gets any older.  Hell, but I was a go-getter at 16 lol... became a homeowner @ 26 years old, working full time, part time student and a single mother - this situation is very foreign to me.

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