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Why budgeting is a so important to me

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For months, I've been pushing a budget on my daughters father, and he's been pushing back.....so I gave up I pay my portion of the bills and no longer worry about his...I have $100 saved up (not a lot, but compared to being in the negative the last few months, I'm doing good)

well, now, he has the light bill due, and the car insurance...he has no money left in his account and just found out today that his aunt died. He doesn't have enough money to go to the funeral and doesn't want to ask anyone in his family to pay his way. ( prideful smh)

I mean, I feel badly, but I've bailed him out of situations he's put himself in and lost a few thousand worth of savings..now that I'm starting to save a small amount of money ( I'm really not saving anything because I still have to pay taxes lol) I'm not going to bail him out..if the electicty gets turned off, I've made arrangements to stay with a friend....I just can't keep bailing him out of things...especially when I try to prevent it in the first place and he fights me about EVERYTHING.

I feel bad...but am I wrong?.. I haven't said anything to him. When he told me she died and he didn't have money for the funeral I was just like oh..(in the past, I've been the one to offer to help him, but, I feel like he just EXPECTS me to help him now)

by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:52 PM
Replies (11-15):
GoddessNDaRuff
by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 11:21 PM

If he wil let you take care of money you might be able to work it out. But he needs to learn how not to be selfish. He can't be selfish with a family to support. But you know the old saying, You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You can't make him do right. He has to want too. There is not a woman on the planet that can make a man act right, a man has to see for himself what he is doing is wrong and then he'll try to change and let the woman help him along. You sound like you are just fed up with him and it sounds like he is not ready to change. You have to make the decision of whether you want wait on him to act right or move on. How long have you been together?

Quoting MandiFuego:


Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

Some times you have to bust your ass a couple of times before you learn to hold on to the railing. So yep let him bust his ass. You can show him way better than you can tell him. He's going to be pissy man at you but don't sweat it. Tell him to get the lights back on you will return home. How old is this dude?

28. Married once before, I see shes a bigger fool than i ORIGINALLY thought. It's not like he woke up one day and thought this is how u run a household...but then again in their 6 year marriage they only lived together for 2 years.

I've left once before because the power went out. He had it back on that day but was mad cuz i left because we're supposed to be togheter thru "thick & thin" but I see now that he SERIOUSLY doesn't understand taking care of home first before doing ish for himself or  or other people in his family.,....

the old school women I know are you...U can work that out with him....yall will be ok if you just take care of the money >.> rightttttt


MandiFuego
by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 11:30 PM


Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

If he wil let you take care of money you might be able to work it out. But he needs to learn how not to be selfish. He can't be selfish with a family to support. But you know the old saying, You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You can't make him do right. He has to want too. There is not a woman on the planet that can make a man act right, a man has to see for himself what he is doing is wrong and then he'll try to change and let the woman help him along. You sound like you are just fed up with him and it sounds like he is not ready to change. You have to make the decision of whether you want wait on him to act right or move on. How long have you been together?

Quoting MandiFuego:


Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

Some times you have to bust your ass a couple of times before you learn to hold on to the railing. So yep let him bust his ass. You can show him way better than you can tell him. He's going to be pissy man at you but don't sweat it. Tell him to get the lights back on you will return home. How old is this dude?

28. Married once before, I see shes a bigger fool than i ORIGINALLY thought. It's not like he woke up one day and thought this is how u run a household...but then again in their 6 year marriage they only lived together for 2 years.

I've left once before because the power went out. He had it back on that day but was mad cuz i left because we're supposed to be togheter thru "thick & thin" but I see now that he SERIOUSLY doesn't understand taking care of home first before doing ish for himself or  or other people in his family.,....

the old school women I know are you...U can work that out with him....yall will be ok if you just take care of the money >.> rightttttt


Almost a year.... I've also decided that no matter what we need time apart...partially because I'm stressed, partially because I need to save money ( I feel weird, without money in the bank and even more so with the baby coming sooner and sooner as the days go by)..because I'm paying higher bills with him than I"m used to paying, that's less money paying off my debts....Sad thing is, I know if I spenf 4 months on a SERIOUS budget, I'll be out of debt... I know all I need is 6 months to reduce his debt by at least a few thousands..he says he's willing to give me that when the lease is up..but we'll see.

rayroe2
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:08 AM

 yeah your not wrong and that is good that you are saving because you don'thave to be there finical(sp?) for him because if wants to a man in your life he needs to know how to provide especially when yallhave kids. I have heard that some man don't feel like a women as no room say on his money if they ain't married so maybe he just being stubborn because of that but I hope things get better for you great job on the savings!

MandiFuego
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:23 AM


Quoting rayroe2:

 yeah your not wrong and that is good that you are saving because you don'thave to be there finical(sp?) for him because if wants to a man in your life he needs to know how to provide especially when yallhave kids. I have heard that some man don't feel like a women as no room say on his money if they ain't married so maybe he just being stubborn because of that but I hope things get better for you great job on the savings!

I learned awhile ago that marriage doesn't change anything in a relationship....so what hes doing now he'll do when we're married...*shrug* he got away with it in one marriage, so he feels like if i can't "accept" him somebody will...if he's not willing to change then somebody else can LOL.

rayroe2
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:26 AM

 somethings do change after marriage, not who they are but somethings, but really he pretty saying take care of yourself, IMO I don't think no women desvers that.

Quoting MandiFuego:

 

Quoting rayroe2:

 yeah your not wrong and that is good that you are saving because you don'thave to be there finical(sp?) for him because if wants to a man in your life he needs to know how to provide especially when yallhave kids. I have heard that some man don't feel like a women as no room say on his money if they ain't married so maybe he just being stubborn because of that but I hope things get better for you great job on the savings!

I learned awhile ago that marriage doesn't change anything in a relationship....so what hes doing now he'll do when we're married...*shrug* he got away with it in one marriage, so he feels like if i can't "accept" him somebody will...if he's not willing to change then somebody else can LOL.

 

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