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What issues are you dealing with now?

this post is purely a what kind of issues are you having so we can all be a community and support post.. nothing else.. 

for me, I lost my son in dec and am currently pregnant and having some very hard days trying to adjust to the change in my life.. what issues are some of my AAM's having? anything you share is good.. you could just stub a toe today.. 

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 4:15 PM
Replies (21-30):
Chocolate-LEO
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 4:59 PM

Oh and trying to lose 20lbs

Honeybunches26
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:02 PM


Quoting RoyalBlossom:

 Okay. My issue is, I feel that I am getting old sitting in this house. I don't have a license so I can't drive, I don't have a job my honey's choice not mines. I know some women are happy to be sahm's but that was never in my plans, at least not for this long. I hate depending on some one for every thing that includes my spouse. I have finally decided to start school and start this June, but I am also looking for a job which I know is going to upset my honey. I am having a mental crisis and don't know what to do. Alot of women would be grateful their man is taking care of them, but I have no control over my life and I think I am slowly fading away.

I feel like a child, you know. You are dealing with real life issues and I'm falling apart over something so small. Any advice?

I do not think feeling like your slipping away is small love! You are entitled to feel what you feel and it is valid no matter what others will say.. anyone not where you are, are ignorant to your situation.. including me but I do have an opinion.. I think if you no longer want to be a SAHM you have every right to change that.. but I would have a calm discussion first before getting a job.. no reason to make him feel you were omitting your plans.. I would explain that this life you both have created is beautiful and you love him and all he does and your children but you remember your own drive and you miss being able to contribute... if you can find a way to say things in a loving not accussing way it will help i believe.. unless you guys dont have a good relationship when it comes to communication? I have a very good communication line here so my advice may not fit your situation.. but I think its best if you guys talk and come to an understanding.. Im sure you dont want him to feel hes trapped you in a horrible life.. but you also want him to know this situation isnt what makes you content anymore.. we are people or lives and feelings are fluid! we change and evolve and that is okay! 

memekisses
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Losing a child isn't something you just get over or replace with the next...I'm sure it must be sooo hard! :(

I've never had tons of friends but the few I did/do have were great. Lately I feel like they just live for the drama and partying. Which I've never liked that either and so I just don't wanna deal with it but I don't wanna make enemies either.
as for the moving, we've been here coming up on 2 yrs and I just want to go! Now that me and hubby are both working I want us to pack up and go but its all taking too long and is frustrating me to no end. Ugh!


Quoting Honeybunches26:



Quoting memekisses:

I'm so sorry for your loss!



Hmmm...right now were trying to move the hell outta here and become financially able.

I'm also having a hard time with friends.

what is happening with your friends? and i know the feeling on both accounts.. my family and friends expect me to be okay by now which isnt real... and expect because were expecting again the pain has somewhat died down.. which is also crap.. and on moving we are saving to buy a nice little home.. in two years but i feel like I want to be out now! its hard when you know what you want and have to wait.. but in the end its worth it all right? 


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Honeybunches26
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:05 PM


Quoting 1214Choc:

I'm sorry for your loss. 

My issues are very minute, but what I'm dealing with is a blister underneath my foot that is making it very hard for me to walk, 4 essays to write, a mountain of laundry, and child whose dreads I need to retwist. 

your issues are your own and important in their own right! i hate blisters and had one a month ago after walking four miles! (hubbys idea!) i also dont like laundry.. and good luck with the dreads.. i dont know anything about them.. or braiding.. i feel like i should have learned longggg ago! 

inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:08 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

I have tiny issues in comparison- I had shoulder surgery a few weeks ago & i'm working on getting my range of motion back..I still have months of PT to do..I think we are moving in the near future i'm a bit worried my house won't sell..  :(

Honeybunches26
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:08 PM


Quoting Chocolate-LEO:

Paying off my school blance and enrolling back in school

About to enroll in this NACA program to buy a house

STILL potty training my DD...ugh

and everyday bills and life, lol :P

what inspired the weight loss? and how are you trying to loose it.. easiest way ive ever lost weight and got clear skin in the process was becoming vegan! its hard the first two months though! or if your pregnant if youve noticed im salivating everytime someone says chicken or smothered! 

and school is expensive even with the grants! i know what are you studying? 

and bills suck and thanks for sharing im surprised i didnt think so many people would respond! 

Honeybunches26
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting krisdev67:

 No he cheated with a married co-worker...although the physical part of the affair ended (it wasn't long) they continued the emotional affair.   So, I'm just taking it easy and enjoying the single life.

Quoting Honeybunches26:


Quoting krisdev67:

Former fiancee, we split 3 years ago.  He started calling again late last year.  Yeah, don't want because of heart break but love him.  I have trust issues.  Our son will be 20 this year.  I must admit that we're friends and even when we weren't together we were always friendly towards each other.  If I needed something he would be there etc.  Not a sexual thing but just emotional.

lol, yeah that check engine light..smh.  I think I need my exhaust checked so I'll do that tomorrow while I'm off.

Quoting Honeybunches26:


Quoting krisdev67:

 I'm sorry for your loss.  I'm dealing with separating my feelings if that makes sense.  That I want you, but I don't want you thing. 

Also, my check engine light came is on in the car...gotta get my senors checked out!

ohhh, tell me more what about this person do you want and what dont you want? do you want this person because they are good for you but not want them because of past experiences? ill listen if you wish to tell more! and do that.. car accidents are no joke! 

 

why did you guys split? is it only your trust issues holding you back or more? if its only your trust issues holding you back.. im sorry..it can be so hard.. it would be easy for others to tell you to let that go but its impossible until you are ready and willing to work on that issue each and every day which is so hard... so very hard.. I totally understand.. i hope if you love him and the love is a good pure love then it will all work out.. we all deserve to be loved and accepted

 

that would be very hard to get over.. so you ms.lady give yourself some credit.. you arent messing anything up with trust issues... its very hard to regain trust once you hurt someone as he hurt you.. i think youre okay.. and if this is meant to be you will be able to see the change.. if you still feel uneasy its okay 

Honeybunches26
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:13 PM


Quoting inmybizz:

I'm sorry for your loss.

I have tiny issues in comparison- I had shoulder surgery a few weeks ago & i'm working on getting my range of motion back..I still have months of PT to do..I think we are moving in the near future i'm a bit worried my house won't sell..  :(

i dont think they are small.. everyone is going through something.. are you still in alot of pain.. is your house paid off or will it be eating up alot of money until it sells? thats a hard issue because of the way the housing market is... prices so low so you wont get what its worth anyway in most cases but im in cali where its worse so maybe where you are it will be better! 

tylerandjasmine
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:17 PM

i hope your healing goes smoothly and you will be in my prayers .. may god bless you. I almost lost my son at my appointment  i had a emergency delivery.. i thank god for my baby and hope god may continue to heal you throughout your hard time

GoddessNDaRuff
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:19 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Honeybunches26:


Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

I'm sorry for your lost :(

I'm trying to get through this deployment. Dealing with depression. Getting over a two miscarriages in less than six months. And I still don't know what I want to do with myself which is sort of hindering my college plans. Can't go to school without a major, well you can but it's kind of pointless.

Im sorry for your losses.. I am now terrified of going through what you have been through.. and in less than six months that is so hard Im so sorry love... these kind of events can make you change instantly.. I knew what i was studying and why.. and now there is no way in hell i could work in a hospt! so yeah i do understand that i am doing what you say is pointless though im going to school (online in no condition to be around others that much) no solid major just taking transferable credits and taking lots of history i love history! 

I hope when your love comes back some clarity finds you and some guidence, if not its okay we are all going through things and there is never a wrong way to go through it! 

I wanted to eventually be a midwife that was my dream from the time I was 12 and like you now there is no way in hell I could work in a hospital. Back in June-Sept last year my mom and Grandmother were fighting for their lives. My mom had/has valley fever and my grandmother was losing her battle with diabetes. My granny died and I had to come back home before my mom got out the hospital but I'm thankful she got out the hospital. But that changed my whole out look. My husband suggested I do what you are doing. But I just feel bad wasting money. But after all you've been through I think you should take as many classes as possible to have your mind distracted. It's hard to be depressed when you are freaking out about an assignment due in less than a week.

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