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What do you think can turn the youth around?

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I have a love/hate relationship with the AA youth today. I know I can't be upset with them because it takes a village to raise a child---but what do you think would turn the youth into doing something more positive and stop the black on black crime? What do you think it will take to get that majority turned on and into education or tap into their gifts?

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/304209_10150825901365230_520415229_21054590_61191322_n.jpg

Some people recognize the light but they can't handle the glare.

by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Replies (31-34):
Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on May. 2, 2012 at 4:40 PM
2 moms liked this
It truly starts at home! Education,structure&no nonsense. I know that kids can still stray from their parents even when they are taught the right thing to do at home. Also surroundung the youth with other positive,active youth is good. Positive feeds positive.
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mspecan_tan
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2012 at 5:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree not every family is going to parent the same....so the village has to be structured......but my particular family has the same values, those of us with smaller children.....and these children are quite smart and outspoken....they aren't getting spanked for that...its like you are aware who can teach and train your child, clearly uncle drunk johnny won't be babysitting but he will be invited to all functions.

I feel for teachers, my mom and sister are teachers who catch hell but yet have the patience to tend to these kids.....bless them cause I truely don't have the patience to teach.


Quoting Dana267:

You are right that some teachers don't care BUT I can tell you having seen teacher after teacher turn into that----it doesn't start off that way---but parents who don't give a crap are more concerned with being combative tend to wear a teacher down and then it becomes about the check.

I agree that families need to get on their children---sometimes however the different philosophies clash and I wouldn;t want someone putting their hands on my child. For some people a child who speaks up is considered "disrespectful" that is not how I rasie my children. I don't want them to be spanked for that. You have to be careful who is in the village.

Quoting mspecan_tan:

 This I agree with ... bring the village back .... bring awareness back, better education at affordable prices .... increase teachers salaries instead of cutbacks. Teachers don't even care and THAT is sad. We trust these people to halfway teach out kids the fundamentals and they are seriously lacking. I'm all for the village myself. If my son is out of line, by all means beat him and he will get another one when I get a hold on him. There were padals in elementary school when I was growing up .. not anymore. Church and prayer, it worked wonders for us. My parents kept us in church, activities, you name it. My family is a mini village right now. We all watch out for each other and will beat each other kids with no hesitation. We all encourage each other and kids. Everyone shows up to events, everyone rewards. Its too many kids with no foundation and nowhere else to turn other than the streets.


Quoting JakesMom712:

This is gonna be a long one, but i have a lot of thoughts on this subject.

I think it starts in the home. What are we as parents teaching our kids? Are we teaching financial stability, education, pride in ourselves and culture, non violence? Or are we teaching tax return=shopping spree, the only way to make money is bball, black history is only in February, beat his ass so i can video on YouTube.
What happened to actual parenting and the 5 f's? Where you going, who you going with, why are you going, what are yall going to be doing, when is this supposed to be happening? How is it that at any given point you dont know where your child is? And what happened to the village? We need to bring the village back asap! When i was growing up i couldn't do nothing because before i got home my grandmother knew everything. And god forbid i did or said something. I got smacked 2, from who ever saw me doing it and my grandmother! Nowadays, everybody all "dont chastise my kids, dont say shit to my kids". And dont get me started on wisdom, elders and grandmothers. How can grandma pass down her wisdom to her 12-13 yr old grandbaby when grandma 42 and trying to get her date on? Everybody going thru the same shit at the same time- grandma, mom, and daughter. I dont see this as a problem with aa kids, but all kids! And eff dhs, dyfs, ss. If my son need his ass beat, ima beat it. They got parents scared to parent nowadays. Dont ground your kids, dont spank. How about dont tell me how to raise mine!


Ill be back, baby just woke up. Oh and when i say we/you/etc. Im not talking about this group, black folks as a whole. You get my meaning.

 


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tamikadorch26
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this post. I thank the Lord for my parents. They raised me. Not send me over somebodies house because they were to busy or trying to act so young that they forgot that they are the parents and not me friend. I am all for old school parenting and raising me kids up that way. We ha ave our big Sunday dinners and when any of my kids do good I make a big ass fuss about it because I'm pride of them. My oldest son is on the A honor roll. We work with our children and we don't sugar coat nothing when telling then about it. Their father is wonderful with them. We do a lot as a family.  Everyday I ask my kids how was their day and what did they learn. I help out at their school and ask the teachers if there are any problems in school with my children. We are very hands on with our kids. In this household ,we have rules that my kids go by.

Quoting JakesMom712:

This is gonna be a long one, but i have a lot of thoughts on this subject.

I think it starts in the home. What are we as parents teaching our kids? Are we teaching financial stability, education, pride in ourselves and culture, non violence? Or are we teaching tax return=shopping spree, the only way to make money is bball, black history is only in February, beat his ass so i can video on YouTube.
What happened to actual parenting and the 5 f's? Where you going, who you going with, why are you going, what are yall going to be doing, when is this supposed to be happening? How is it that at any given point you dont know where your child is? And what happened to the village? We need to bring the village back asap! When i was growing up i couldn't do nothing because before i got home my grandmother knew everything. And god forbid i did or said something. I got smacked 2, from who ever saw me doing it and my grandmother! Nowadays, everybody all "dont chastise my kids, dont say shit to my kids". And dont get me started on wisdom, elders and grandmothers. How can grandma pass down her wisdom to her 12-13 yr old grandbaby when grandma 42 and trying to get her date on? Everybody going thru the same shit at the same time- grandma, mom, and daughter. I dont see this as a problem with aa kids, but all kids! And eff dhs, dyfs, ss. If my son need his ass beat, ima beat it. They got parents scared to parent nowadays. Dont ground your kids, dont spank. How about dont tell me how to raise mine!


Ill be back, baby just woke up. Oh and when i say we/you/etc. Im not talking about this group, black folks as a whole. You get my meaning.


GoddessNDaRuff
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:27 PM

This is too long so i'm cutting stuff out LOL

Quoting Dana267:


Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

First off realize you can't fix the adults. These kids are products of their environment and while you can show the kids better you can't get the parents to go along with it all the time. The parents are going to do one of three things: build them up, tear them down, or be indifferent to anything good or bad they do. So stop judging the kids based off the parents.

You're speaking in general right---I'm not judging the youth for the parents---I'm trying to figure out how to help them. You really think they hear you? I wonder. Trust me I've seen it first hand one encounter with some sound advice given in a loving manner has a huge impact. I know for me that has been also been the case. That light bulb may flicker but eventually it stays on.

Now I know my ex students did but that was everyday all day with me and I had more time to influence them. B



Too many folks do that. And it works in both directions for the kids with high achieving parents who get chance after chance and a bunch of extra help to the kids who's parents could care less so the kids end up suffering whether it's struggling in school, behavioral issues, to ending up in the system. Remember these kids even when they don't act like it, they hear you, they've listened.

But youth in the street---girl please. My grandmother did have a beautiful story about how a young mother was cursing her toddler out in anger for being so slow walking out of the dollar store she fussed with him all the way thorugh the parking lot----my grandma walked over to her and I don't know what she said but the girl ended up crying in my Grandma's embrace. T

They just don't know how to apply it and many don't have someone outside of you telling and trying to show them. So it might take them longer to process and get it right just keep talking and use every opportunity to show as well as talk.

Find what motivates these kids---hat's what I'm asking --what motivates the young parent--- or the gang banger who needs to shoot something.

It's different for each one. I know a bunch of bangers. My dad and husband belong/belonged to gangs. My dad's motivation was defense at first. Then it evolved into something else. That whole story is another post. He's actually shared with me how they developed. My husband it was passed down from one of his uncles. That is a whole other post as well. Some needed a family. People who would defend them and always have their back because something was missing at home, they wanted folks who appreciated them. Others were bored, plain and simple, nothing better to do so why not go blow trees, fight, travel, make quick money. Others are just followers. They are not confident and need others around them to show them, what to do, how to act and will do anything just be accepted. Revenge, is one. One friend became a blood just so he could beat the hell out of a specific blood without the consequences then went on his way and wasn't an "active" banger. Same could be said if Gang A harmed a loved one so you go to Gang B and retaliate. It helps to learn about the gang itself. Depending on what gang the individual chose to join tells you a lot about them. For instance, on guy stepped to my husband about becoming a Crip. My husband refused to have foot soldiers so he told him he had to get at someone else. Now one of our friends is GD. He engaged the guy. Asked him some questions, why he wanted to bang, why crip, what was his philosophy about xyz. Finally, D told dude he'd be better off being a GD. The GD agreed. The guy had to do a lot more to do other than that one conversation but eventually became GD. He needed structure and consequences. If you don't go to school you get fined. You aren't where you are supposed to be you get fined. Grades were low you got fined. His set's OG was serious about school. As far as know (My cousins are GD as well) GD's take education seriously. My cousin would always grill us about school much harder than our parents. I thought it was just an older cousin looking out. I get annoyed because sometimes I'll say Knowledge without knowing it but since everybody knew who I am related too. It's was never a big thing after someone would point things out.

Young parent. That's one is trickier. It can be as simple as they got pregnant when they didn't mean to and their parents are against abortion, they are against abortion and don't like the idea of adoption or their family or the baby's father doesn't either. It could be they need someone to love them. They could be using the baby to get out of situation. It could be they need to feel wanted. It could be they are trying to keep some boy or some girl. Toward treat of the baby, it could be all they know. It could be they don't understand child development and expect too much.

That's why gaining trust is so important. You need the individual to open up to you. That is way I stress talking so important one conversation about the right topic can give you insight on that person. Most people form opinions based on their experiences. If you can get them to delve in to that a lil bit. You've accomplished a lot.




That's also why my high school prinicipal was not making head way with students or parents but our asst. principal was. He knew how to talk at our level.

I kind of disagree with "talking at their level" -----to me ---talkign slang and whatever else IS talking down to them----why should we assume they won't get what we are saying?


I think you misunderstand me when I say talk at their level. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you are saying the same thing but you two are arguing until that aha moment happens? I see it on here all the time. Some times you just have to alter the way you would usually say something. If you come at someone a certain way they will get defensive. That makes the conversation that much harder or even impossible. If you are using over their head words. You might have to dial back your vocabulary. So as you talk to someone you either scale back, push forward, change direction, slightly alter course as you need too. I'm not saying speak slang. If you can't do it and use it wrong you sound like a cornball and come off as fake rather than sincere.


I love your insight!

Thank you.

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