Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

African American Mommies African American Mommies

Beep Beep I'm Here, Get In!

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:17 PM
  • 26 Replies
Okay, so while I don't really give a flying flapjack about the 90 day rule, there are certain other rules to the dating that are high priorities to me! I'm wondering though, from dealing w/my oldest goddaughter if certain practices are outdated. Do young ladies no longer require young men to come to the door and greet them when going on dates? Are young men no longer required to open car doors? I ask like that bc my goddaughter is currently staying w/me and when I went out the door and tapped on a young man's car window and explained that he needs to knock on the door for her his response was "she told me to wait in the car for her" later on she said that bc he's not her bf she didn't want me to meet him.
Have dating rules changed? Do young ladies no longer like to be held to high standards? She's actually not the first young lady I've heard say she doesn't need a guy to knock on the door.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:17 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Pink_Sunshine
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Gentlemen are still in fashion. He should have respect enough to come pick her up at the door.

zmama22
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:29 PM
2 moms liked this

the rules have changed because noone is teaching them what they should do. talk to your niece so she can start establishing some groundrules. even as an adult, i realized that i've let men slack. my BFF (a man) came to visit and he is a gentlemen - opens doors, the whole 9, and i realized i had gotten used to it not being done - and he has never even gotten a whiff. his momma raised him right.

crystalsmom686
by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 12:32 PM
They have not changed for me. Don't come to my house and blow the horn and I wanted to be treated with the most respect and for them to act like they got some home training somewhere.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Litlmama87
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2012 at 12:39 PM
My god daughter is only 8, and my daughters are toddlers, but uh, when they get about that age, I'm going to need their potentials to come in the house and touch doorknobs and cups and straws so I can collect the latter in a Ziplock bag for DNA.

And I also need him to see that I'm just not playing when it comes to my babies.

I do the same to my bff when her dates pick her up from here. I'll choke her ass up if she tries to head for that door before I check dude out, even if I've seen him before. I need to see his state of mind, whether he's intoxicated, higher DEN-AUH-BIIIITCHHHHH, or something is just off. What he's wearing. What car they left in. All of that.

Men need to see there's somebody out here that cares about that woman.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
inmybizz
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 12:48 PM

The rules haven't changed for me..Any  young man picking up my daughter will  have to come to the door..I need to lay eyes on him..My husband needs to see him/ask questions/make threats...We have it all planned out..LOL!!

GoddessNDaRuff
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:48 PM
1 mom liked this

If it's a guy friend, I don't require it. If it's a dating situation it was a must. Well the coming to the door thing. Not the opening of the car door though that is always appreciated. But yes rules have changed and it's not just the girls who don't have the standard the boys don't either.

When folks picked me up they came to the door. Hell I got kicked out the house with some of  them because my parents and grandparents wanted them to leave so bad because they talk to much. It got to the point where if certain people were picking me up they told me to wait outside for them. LOL yes even guys.

The first time my husband came to the house I didn't leave with him. He came over (on his own at that, all unannounced even though he tried to play it off by calling as he was coming up the drive way) specifically to introduce himself to my family. He spent two hours talking to everybody in the house. I mean everybody, my mama, my cousin's mother who was visiting at the time, my grandmother and her company, my lil brother and his friend, went in the back and talked to Papa in his room. LOL Papa came out after he left was like who the hell was that? Had me looking at him like, ummm, really? Now there were people I didn't want you behind to meet yet because they make the whole family look bad (cousin's mother). But in doing so, he got the green light to take me where ever he wanted, whenever he wanted. And taking him to meet my dad O_o by the end of that visit you would have thought they knew each other forever. 

GoddessNDaRuff
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:51 PM

My mama used to get mad at me and my brother because we would take down dude's liscense plate and were like "Disappear with our mama if you want too. We will report your ass." LOL They would be like "Have your kids always been crazy?" We weren't playing.

Quoting Litlmama87:

My god daughter is only 8, and my daughters are toddlers, but uh, when they get about that age, I'm going to need their potentials to come in the house and touch doorknobs and cups and straws so I can collect the latter in a Ziplock bag for DNA.

And I also need him to see that I'm just not playing when it comes to my babies.

I do the same to my bff when her dates pick her up from here. I'll choke her ass up if she tries to head for that door before I check dude out, even if I've seen him before. I need to see his state of mind, whether he's intoxicated, higher DEN-AUH-BIIIITCHHHHH, or something is just off. What he's wearing. What car they left in. All of that.

Men need to see there's somebody out here that cares about that woman.


joschmidt
by Too Legit Schmidt on May. 2, 2012 at 1:57 PM
I've notice this behavior with my younger sisters. In my house, if you want to take my children out you will come inside and speak with us. I will know who you are. And we are raising our kids to be the same way. My son will meet parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and the dog if that's who is responsible for the young lady/ladies he wants to go out with. And my daughters will know that they deserve nothing but the best and will not go running out the door cuz he honked his horn.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sexychica25
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:06 PM
Well I told you mines is a old soul. He was 21 when we first started dating and I was 18. He would open car door's, pull out my car, the whole nine. The only thing he didn't do was come to my door, but in his defense most guys didn't because I lived on a big hill and if you ain't grip that driveway just right yo ass was gon tumble. So that ain't bother me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dimplesinblack
by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:17 PM
2 moms liked this

 My question would be who is teaching her "what to expect from a gentlemen"? Male friend, boyfriend, friends with benefits, whatever, if you come to my house to pick up a female, you HAVE to come to the door.  Just so I can be sure of who you are leaving with.  Not to think of that person as their soul mate, but to be able to identify who you left with.     I think all teenage girls need a male figure to show them  "how to be treated by a gentleman" .   How can you expect someone to treat you in a manner you never been accustomed to.  I had to talk with my husband about spending more time with our 14yr old.  daughter,  and showing her how she should EXPECT a guy to treat her.    It's hard for another woman to explain, when it's not demonstrated. 

The rules have not changed, just haven't been reinforced.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)