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Ok I need some advice (UPDATE CUZ YALL KEEP REPLYING LOL)

Posted by on May. 14, 2012 at 8:55 PM
  • 38 Replies

He's not going. In fact he actually got approval from his current supervisor to get the 10 days off....and as long as he's not in ALS, he'll take it and be there with me.

I NO LONGER NEED ADVICE ON THIS TOPIC LOL

the wobble is a line dance done at weddings now a days, based off the original song by V.I.C

I'm due July 18th

His class reunion is July 14th, in MD.

He's really wanting to go, so when I asked him about the baby he says to me well the doctor might induce u in June

Ok, Even more reason not to go! You travel that far in touch with all these different people and come back in contact with a baby that's a few weeks OLD?!?!

He's trying to stay with a friend (all his friends are females so that's not about to fly)

He rarely has money for ANYTHING so I'm not sure HOW he plans on getting there & back.

Now he's saying he's going to kill 2 birds with one stone and go see his son.

Although, I'm about 90% sure he told me his son would come down here for the summer. Now he's saying he'd have to drive 5 hours to go get him ( wtf is the difference if you're driving further to go to MD!!!)

Now he's saying I'm being selfish because I don't want him to go see his son but seriously is that close to my due date the right time to do something like that? 

He hasn't seen him since October. ( hasn't even tried) so what's the difference in waiting a bit longer? I think he's using his son as an excuse to go up there just to go to his class reunion. Like, he's risking missing his childs birth, or exposing her to all these other peoples germs to "see his son" mind u, the boys birthday is the end of July! ( about 2 weeks AFTER the reunion!)

Honestly, if he goes up there I feel like I might as well just give up on this realtionship because that's just...wow...who does this?

Am I really being that selfish or is he?

by on May. 14, 2012 at 8:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
milesofprojects
by on May. 14, 2012 at 9:27 PM

This is something that is entirely up to you honey. You seem to be very dissatisfied with your realtionship. 

 I'm new here, so I don't know how long you have been with this man or the details of your relationship. I assume your man feels out of touch with you because of the way things are.

 This reunion appears to be extremely important to him,  where he feel's as if he'll be missing something if he doesn't go. Mostly, It appears as if he's looking for an esceape from the grind of his daily life. Certainly at this point, with baby on the way,  he's feeling overwhelmed, much as you are.  Feeling overwhelmed can lead to a lot of mistakes within a relationship on both ends.   

I don't think you truly want to leave him, even though things are tough. Only a woman who loves a man would bother to complain about him this much. You just want things to be better. When those feelings rear their head, you feel confused over what to do, that's all. 

And no, I don't think you are being selfish. This is a special time for both of you.  He should value your feelings and compromise.  But to him, you are probably just being emotional and hormonal.  You my dear need to take it easy, not stress and maintain emotional balance for your baby's and your health.  

sexychica25
by Platinum Member on May. 14, 2012 at 11:10 PM
3 moms liked this
He needs to play it by ear and get his priorities in order. I assume this is his first class reunion. I understand why he would wanna go, and you should too. Mine was back in 2010 and it was a weekend long event and we partied like it was 1999. IMO, you can't make that judgment call on whether or not he's using his son as an excuse because you wouldn't want that to be your child in question. Now if he actually shows up to see his son that's his cross to bare. But don't deny him the chance to see his child and at the very least enjoy his class reunion.
And as far as you mentioning him bringing home germs from strange people, you must gon quarantine him for 6 weeks....he's gonna leave the house. Y'all gon have to a serious chit n chat.
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rayroe2
by on May. 15, 2012 at 12:33 AM

 your not being selfish at ALL, really you already know I got a crazy side the 1st thought that would go in my mind if this was man that he going up there to get some booty or to see old flings! a reunion isn't that important to the birth of YOUR CHILD! I hope he doesn't go and is there for you!

1214Choc
by on May. 15, 2012 at 12:42 AM
4 moms liked this
It could just be the old lady in me, but if he wanted to go then I would help him pack his stuff and tell him to have a good time. Trying to keep someone from doing what they want to do is never a good idea IMO.

And that thing about bringing germs back to the baby -_-
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Litlmama87
by Silver Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:04 AM


Quoting 1214Choc:

It could just be the old lady in me, but if he wanted to go then I would help him pack his stuff and tell him to have a good time. Trying to keep someone from doing what they want to do is never a good idea IMO.



And that thing about bringing germs back to the baby -_-
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MandiFuego
by on May. 15, 2012 at 9:35 AM


Quoting sexychica25:

He needs to play it by ear and get his priorities in order. I assume this is his first class reunion. I understand why he would wanna go, and you should too. Mine was back in 2010 and it was a weekend long event and we partied like it was 1999. IMO, you can't make that judgment call on whether or not he's using his son as an excuse because you wouldn't want that to be your child in question. Now if he actually shows up to see his son that's his cross to bare. But don't deny him the chance to see his child and at the very least enjoy his class reunion.
And as far as you mentioning him bringing home germs from strange people, you must gon quarantine him for 6 weeks....he's gonna leave the house. Y'all gon have to a serious chit n chat.

yeah but there's also a risk of the baby NOT being born yet and it's 3 days before my due date. doesn't that seem a BIT risky.."oh, my reunion was great, we had a great time, but I missed my first daughter's birth"...the son was an after thought once I started asking him about the closeness to my due date

MandiFuego
by on May. 15, 2012 at 9:39 AM


Quoting 1214Choc:

It could just be the old lady in me, but if he wanted to go then I would help him pack his stuff and tell him to have a good time. Trying to keep someone from doing what they want to do is never a good idea IMO.

And that thing about bringing germs back to the baby -_-

my due date is 3 day's later and he's trying to go a few days before and stay a few days later so, if I go at all during that week, then he just missed his child's birth, left me to deliver by myself to have fun and " a social life" Even his best friend ( like 13 years) told him it wasn't worth it ( he missed his daughters birth too, but because he was in iraq)

Either way, he reluctantly changed his mind, I guess hearing it from a man made it seem like I wasn't being as crazy as he thought

sexychica25
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2012 at 9:39 AM
That's why I said play it by ear.
I get your stance, but you also need to see where he's coming from also.


Quoting MandiFuego:


Quoting sexychica25:

He needs to play it by ear and get his priorities in order. I assume this is his first class reunion. I understand why he would wanna go, and you should too. Mine was back in 2010 and it was a weekend long event and we partied like it was 1999. IMO, you can't make that judgment call on whether or not he's using his son as an excuse because you wouldn't want that to be your child in question. Now if he actually shows up to see his son that's his cross to bare. But don't deny him the chance to see his child and at the very least enjoy his class reunion.

And as far as you mentioning him bringing home germs from strange people, you must gon quarantine him for 6 weeks....he's gonna leave the house. Y'all gon have to a serious chit n chat.

yeah but there's also a risk of the baby NOT being born yet and it's 3 days before my due date. doesn't that seem a BIT risky.."oh, my reunion was great, we had a great time, but I missed my first daughter's birth"...the son was an after thought once I started asking him about the closeness to my due date

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MandiFuego
by on May. 15, 2012 at 9:53 AM


Quoting sexychica25:

That's why I said play it by ear.
I get your stance, but you also need to see where he's coming from also.


Quoting MandiFuego:


Quoting sexychica25:

He needs to play it by ear and get his priorities in order. I assume this is his first class reunion. I understand why he would wanna go, and you should too. Mine was back in 2010 and it was a weekend long event and we partied like it was 1999. IMO, you can't make that judgment call on whether or not he's using his son as an excuse because you wouldn't want that to be your child in question. Now if he actually shows up to see his son that's his cross to bare. But don't deny him the chance to see his child and at the very least enjoy his class reunion.

And as far as you mentioning him bringing home germs from strange people, you must gon quarantine him for 6 weeks....he's gonna leave the house. Y'all gon have to a serious chit n chat.

yeah but there's also a risk of the baby NOT being born yet and it's 3 days before my due date. doesn't that seem a BIT risky.."oh, my reunion was great, we had a great time, but I missed my first daughter's birth"...the son was an after thought once I started asking him about the closeness to my due date

I just don't want him to regret anything, and I know how I can be, if feel like he made that choice and missed out on something so important, especially since I was surrounded by strangers when I had my son...(which is another reason I feel like that was so ..harsh for me) and I'm using him as my support person...my mind would switch to survival mode. I'd protect my self from ever feeling like I could trust him with something important again...then he becomes like everyone else, just somebody I have to deal with.

But he talked to his friend, and decided not to go, even though he was mad about it.

1214Choc
by on May. 15, 2012 at 2:22 PM
2 moms liked this
I get what you're saying. And even though the fact that he'd rather be in another state than by your side when you're very close to being due is messed up, if that's what he wanted to do, then I'd let him. Like I said in my earlier reply, I'm not into making folks do anything that they don't want to do and if he'd rather be somewhere else, then I'd also rather him be somewhere else.

I'm aware that you don't agree with me, but you shouldn't have to force or threaten anyone to make them be by your side. Maybe it's just me....
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