Maybe you know someone who may need to read this:
Single men: Don't marry a mouthy (brash, cutting, curt, slashing, emasculating) woman. No matter how beautiful she is or how much you love her, she will continue to beat you down to nothing. I've seen grown men cry bc of the relentless abuse of a razor-tongued woman. Until she demonstrates the FRUIT of a change in this area and can grow to communicate passionately but honorably, hold off on marriage. You need to see Christ in her in this area. The Bible gives CONSISTENT warning about dwelling with such a woman. She may not even know her pain, but it doesn't mean it's not there. So many women ( especially if they have been abused or have abused others) carry a dagger in their mouths. They may think they are done with the past, but it is not done with them. There must be both a recognition and a reckoning for any hope of progress. It affects her work, her home, her ministry, her children. She will take your manhood piece by piece without even realizing it. It will be gone before you know it. When you realize it, you will react with rage. It is not fair to her bc she never meant to do it. Vicious cycle. Lots of pain. Years to work through. Make sure you understand what covenant means BEFORE you tie the knot. There's no hopping out later. You're in. You need to honor the Lord now. Married men: If you have married a mouthy (brash, cutting, curt, slashing, emasculating) woman, I pray for you. There is a grace to be with her. You can do all things. Purpose to win her with your humility, patience, and Christ-likeness. She's afraid. She lacks skill to communicate. She needs a man like you who is patient and will love her. You are God's choice. He assigned you to love and serve His daughter. Will you serve Him in this? Draw her out of her cursing tongue with love. Turn the other cheek. Go the extra mile. Try to keep your feelings fresh. Don't go cold on your love. She can change as the Holy Spirit shines the light on her. The mirror of the Word can transform. You may reap great reward from your love...from her, God, or both. ~PMTS
Thoughts:
Personally, I don't believe that a person can be changed unless they wear a diaper. Just like women have there issues, so do men. I believe prayer and counseling goes hand in hand so that the individuals can work through there issues because marriage does not fix anyone. But unfortunately people hop in a marriage expecting the other person to bare their multitude of baggade and to make them happy, and he/she is disappointed and may even become angry at the spouse. Crazy but true.
I agree with much of what you are saying but I know that people can change, I have seen it and have changed myself in diffrent areas. I think if you really want to you can work at it. Ithink that the key is that its probably best to be with someone that is willing to work on themselves in any area. However even if they dont want to change you can still pray, pray and pray some more for them.
Quoting queensweet:Personally, I don't believe that a person can be changed unless they wear a diaper. Just like women have there issues, so do men. I believe prayer and counseling goes hand in hand so that the individuals can work through there issues because marriage does not fix anyone. But unfortunately people hop in a marriage expecting the other person to bare their multitude of baggade and to make them happy, and he/she is disappointed and may even become angry at the spouse. Crazy but true.
Was the person that posted this single *side eye.* IDK about your timeline but I would have hundreds of self-made philosophers....that need to have several seats.
If a person needs/ wants to change it should be because they feel the need. Never because someone thinks it should be done or don't like you. You have a right to be you. You're either good enough or not but one (wo)man shouldn't dictate who they believe you should be.
Feel a person out. I cram to understand how people enter into a relationship with things they want to change about a person.
EDIT: DH and I couldn't stand each other when we first met. *shrugs* This year we'd be married 11 years (together close to 13.)
I am glad that you responded because I would not have realized the vagueness in my reply. What I meant is that no one can change another person unless they wear a diaper and God knows Best. lol.
And yes, people can change but they have to want to change. Like yourself, I have also changed a WHOLE lot. I realized that a little Black girl from the ghetto can acheive so much and a whole lot more. It has been very humbling for me.
Sometimes it helps to be with someone whom is making strides in becoming a better person. But i must admit I find many times that linking up with someone can be more of a hinderance than a help.
Quoting misssy2000:
I agree with much of what you are saying but I know that people can change, I have seen it and have changed myself in diffrent areas. I think if you really want to you can work at it. Ithink that the key is that its probably best to be with someone that is willing to work on themselves in any area. However even if they dont want to change you can still pray, pray and pray some more for them.
Quoting queensweet:
Personally, I don't believe that a person can be changed unless they wear a diaper. Just like women have there issues, so do men. I believe prayer and counseling goes hand in hand so that the individuals can work through there issues because marriage does not fix anyone. But unfortunately people hop in a marriage expecting the other person to bare their multitude of baggade and to make them happy, and he/she is disappointed and may even become angry at the spouse. Crazy but true.
I agree with you 100%.
I find a lot of times people have this mindset (narcisstic) that they have the right to dictate to someone that he/she has to live up to their standards. Last time I checked, we only have to live up to God's standards.
As far as your first encounters with your husband of 11 years, "maybe you loved to hate him". lol. Aint' love grand! 
Quoting _brownie:
Was the person that posted this single *side eye.* IDK about your timeline but I would have hundreds of self-made philosophers....that need to have several seats.
If a person needs/ wants to change it should be because they feel the need. Never because someone thinks it should be done or don't like you. You have a right to be you. You're either good enough or not but one (wo)man shouldn't dictate who they believe you should be.
Feel a person out. I cram to understand how people enter into a relationship with things they want to change about a person.
EDIT: DH and I couldn't stand each other when we first met. *shrugs* This year we'd be married 11 years (together close to 13.)
Cellphone Etiquette 📲
- misssy2000
on May. 15, 2012 at 11:45 AM