Ok, I need help LOL I'm not grown up enough to deal with this right.(PROBLEM SOLVED, REPLIES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED)
UPDATE: OK, I'VE READ THROUGH QUITE A FEW REPLIES. I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT MY BEST BET IS TO IGNORE HIM...AND PRAY HE GETS THE MESSAGE THAT I HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO BE ANYTHING TO HIM (NEITHER FRIEND, LOVER, FOE, ASSOCIATE, NOTHING) SINCE I DON'T TRUST MYSELF IN MY CURRENT STATE TO TRULY NOT END UP CUSSIN HIM FOR THE MERE FACT THAT THE ISH WILL GET ANNOYING.
FOR YALL THAT THINK I STILL WANT HIM, AND THAT I'M HIDING "IT" FROM MY BF AND ALL THAT OTHER RAH RAH RAH, GOOD FOR YOU.IT'S HARD TO HIDE SOMETHING TRACEABLE, AND IF I THOUGHT MY BF WAS THE TYPE TO LISTEN TO A NIGGA HE KNOWS HAS BASHED ME BEFORE, HE'S 10X STUPIDER THAN I COULD EVER IMAGINE. IN ALL HONESTY, MY BF PROBABLY KNOWS I HAVE HIS NUMBER MEMORIZED, SINCE I MEMORIZE MOST PEOPLES NUMBERS! DEF, COMES IN HANDY WHEN YOUR OWN PHONE DIES.
I had met a guy named Isiah(late summer 2009). At church. He was my cousins friend. ( His dad had given me the suggestion to talk to him because of how driven and respectful he was)
I was pretty bold back then, so I went up to Isiah, and I was like we should hang out and get to know each other, because I think you're cute and we'd look good together. ( I was fresh 18 yall, don't judge me)
So, every Sunday, I'd see him at church, then he started taking me on car rides....the first couple of months went nice and slow(this plays into me being naive and fresh in a min lol) I'm thinking ok, he's not pressuring me for sex. He's never had me in his house alone. He's really respectful. I guess about the 3rd month, he told me I could come over and chill ( he ALWAYS invited me to do things I never asked him if I could come or anything like that, He was like 24, so I didn't wanna be the little girl running after the older airman lol) I get there, and like always it's a house full of people. Around 11 I get ready to go home, because I had a curfew staying at my cousins house ( 12) Isiah pulls me to the side and says I can stay the night if I want, he'll just crash on the couch...Now, I knew..I knew this was a baddddd idea, cuz I know me...I know my lil horny sexual self! and I was that stupid, I knew most guys wouldn't turn me away...I didn't care it was bad. I had started to develop feelings for him and we hadn't even kissed!
Anyway, everyone goes home, cept the roommates. They wander into their room, we're on the couch cuddling watching something on tv and I'm getting...ready, I couldn't even stop it. I tell him I don't want him to have to sleep on the couch, and basically that, I don't mind sleeping in the bed with him.....so yall know what happens. ( BTW, it was amazing, literally to date the best I've ever had)( november 2009)
A wholeee buncha stuff went down after that ( obviouslyyyyy) I ended up dating a different guy, which made him mad, but he was doing his own thing, how could he get mad, he gets deployed, comes back, he wants to start over, I attempt, because I had moved to philly and was on my way back(oct 2010). Well, the day I get back, the first person I see is him. for 5 mins, it was good, and then everything hits the fan again, a girl he like had moved in next door, and apparently before she was next door she lived with him ( I didn't know any of this cuz I was in Philly)
Nobody else wanted to tell me either, after I figured out everything that was going on, and realized EVERYONE knew about the girl and him running back and forth on me. I was pissed. well, anyway, we didn't talk......for awhile. A long time. It was hi & bye only to be cordial. He deploys 2-3 more times. I keep living life, I end up with my BF now, and he's still being an Ahole, telling people how I'm a hoe, and I'm crazy, and all this ish like wtf? WHY is my name in ur mouth B?! Like I was hearing my name on base like I was "one of those" girls. He was the ONLY one I'd had been with(only airman lol) til I met my BF. and nobody knew I was with him! Fall of last year, he was still actin crazy, refusing to be in the same building as me, and all this other BS. I didn't care. cuz why would I? LOL I was pregnant and chillin with my BF, enjoying where my life was headed.
FF to yesterday: I was taking a nap at the bank ( DJM, I was waiting on somebody LOL) He comes up to me and taps me I wake up confused, droolin, everythin smh. So he asks if he can sit next to me, I say sure, and he starts askin me about life, the baby and all that, then he starts tellin bout his job...and then his relationship ( I knew the girl he was talkin bout cuz she burned him right before he FIRST met me and 09 and AGAIN last year lol) But anyway, I was telling him the difference in my life, and how it's changed so much, and how comfortable I am and all that. and I could just see the pain on his face( Now, when he first started treatin me bad, I was crying all the time, my pastor felt bad because he has encouraged me to talk to him in the first place, but he told me one day, he's going to look back and see how he messed up, and he's going to try get you back...you have to be strong enough to keep your dignity) Well, yesterday, was that day, dude broke down, straight down, to the ground, apologizing for everything. He told me it "hurt" him to look at my belly and see we'd never be what we were and all this other ish, like this went on for like 45 mins( IN the bank!). When the person I was waiting for was coming back to the lobby area, he quickly got up and composed himself.
An hour later, he shows up to where I am( I'm sure it was an accident...maybe? IDK it's creepy lol) but he spent the last hour or so I was there, trying to get me to talk to him and kept trying to get us alone. He invited me to dinner and I informed him that my man was waiting for me to come home and cook. So, he reluctantly left.
THEN this fool shows up where I am AGAIN ( ok, I'm SURE this one way on accident cuz he was mad at this point lol) I did what I had to do and left...but before I left he was like...We really need some time to talk, about everything. He slips me his number and wants me to call him.
Well 1. I'm not callin him 2. I didn't need the number, that ish is burned into my memory 3. IDK how to be an adult about it...If I ignore him, I'm not sure how long it'll take him to get the hint...and I get pissed pretty easily.....
I'm also not 100% sure I can be nice to him about all of this since he dragged me through the mud for a few years back and forth.
What I am sure of, I'm not going through this again...but IDK what to say, or how to keep it from me cussin him the hell out...