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Parents with Teens

Posted by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 2:58 PM
  • 15 Replies
How many times do u have to say nicely "Clean your room, Bathroom and the kitchen" before you get to yelling.

I told my 14yr old son twice before i got off work to have all his chores done. Get home ask again nothing gets done. I say since u dont want to clean the dirty dishes u used. Go throw them in the trash and u wont have nothing to eat out off. Do u know this boy took every dish "clean" out the cabinets and dishwasher and threw them in the trash!

Im pissed he says smart "u told me to" i say wth have u been doing all day. "Cleaning my room" i go down stairs room look like shit bathroom toilet stuffed with paper towels piss on the floor drinking glasses spoons in the cabinets. Room look like filth and i mean filth.

I start throwing shit on the floor flippin mattresses.

Oh wait an hour later its silence downstairs.

He climbed out the window and ran away.

Im hysterical and ppissed 4grown ppl knew where he was and didnt call me.

What should I have thought and said?
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by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 2:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Carma998
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 3:09 PM

Find something he really likes doing or a possession that he really finds valuable. Use them to get him to do what he's supposed to do. I have a 13 year old son, so I know what you're going thru.  The situation is a little different because my son has aspergers syndrome but he does a lot of the same things other kids do. I just tell him step by step (because he requires that) 1. pick up your clothes. put the dirty ones in the laundry room.  Put the clean ones in the drawer or hang them up. 2. Put the dishes away. Sweep the floor. wash the counter tops.  Make a list for him. Tell him to have it all done when you get home from work.  Take him to the movies or out to dinner if he does what you asked. If he didn't, take away his prized possession or privilege.   Don't do that every time...Just once every few weeks during the summer to get him on the right track.  That has worked with my son.  Stick to your guns.  Be consistent.  Do EXACTLY what you tell him you're going to do and stick to it with NO deviation.

Carma998
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 3:13 PM

Sometimes my son acts like he doesn't know what I mean when I say his room needs to be picked up.  I told him that means there shouldn't be anything on the floor but furniture and carpet.  Anything else means his room is not cleam by my standards.

KW1280
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 3:39 PM

Parenting can be a mine field.  What works for one may not work for the other.  I don't kindly ask anything.  I tell her to clean the room.  When you ask you give them options.  If it isn't done stuff leaves the house and be consistent and follow through.  I told mt daughter if she doesn't keep her room clean her clothes will be at goodwill.  She didn't clean her room and her clothes were at goodwill and I didn't buy her any new clothes.   She had to show me she deserved new clothes by taking care of what she had. 

GoddessNDaRuff
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 3:53 PM

Umm, wow.

I'm sorry. HUGS. But oh them grown folks that didn't tell you where he was would have been cursed out. I don't understand these folks who know where your child is and don't tell you. That happened when he didn't go to school as well. Do these folks not know the laws about harboring a runaway!?!?

PurplWildFlower
by Blaxican #1 on Jun. 19, 2012 at 4:12 PM

Girl, I dont know first hand what you are going through.  But I have a cousin that had to literally take everything from her son around his age. She left his room with a blanket, pillow, towel and two change of clothes. She told him that all she had to do was feed him and give him a place to live.  She would only make dry rice and beans and only ramen noodles were left in the house. No cereal, chips, freeze pops, cookies - nothing.  She literally took all the extras away, tv, cell phone, his game(s), and internet.  She took the hard drive with her to work, hid the laptop over our great aunt's house, she took out all the cable cords. 

He came to her crying and apologizing the next week.  She said it was the shock that he needed and he looks at life differently since then.  And I asked what if he didnt react that way, what if stayed gone, (ps - he left to stay with his daddys people for a couple days) she said she was prepared to go all the way, she said she would have lost her apartment and went to a shelter to live than continue to have him disobey her.  I am just glad it didnt go that far. 

Sorry momma, it will get better.

kikitice
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 5:39 PM

He ran away huh? I'd sit him down and have a real calm "Come to Jesus" talk with him. He seems to think that he is actually running something here so now is the time to lay out what is expected and what will happen if those things aren't done. If he plans to run away, let him know what his options are once he is gone from your house and no longer on your payroll. Remember that episode of the Cosby show where Theo had to pay his way with Monopoly money and buy back his own stuff...He needs a visual because right now, he has created a world where he is the adult. Show him what it is like to be one. Good luck girl! I have a 13 year old girl and we are officially in the world of teendom! lol Oh and PRAY so you don't lose your religion! :)

Carma998
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 6:51 PM

Has your son returned yet?

queensweet
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 7:08 PM
Please dont feelnlike you are alone. i have a 12 year old whom took it upon himself to go to grandma's (his father's mother's) home instead of asking me first. by this time I was fed up and told him to stay there. like most children he thought the grass was greener on the other side with her and eventually his father. he had to find out the hard way. and i think this is what your son has to do. dont fight for him to come back because he needs for you to let him find out how it is out here just like my son did. it will be hard but you will so see that it is worth it. hang in there sista girl.
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luvthagirl
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2012 at 9:49 PM

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Kandie7113
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:36 PM
He is at my aunts i left him there. I have to get my homework done and dont need no distractions. Tomorrow i will go him his room and start throwing things away.

Quoting Carma998:

Has your son returned yet?

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