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Sooooo, I have this friend, right? (LONG)

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 She's young. Just turned 21 in Decemeber. She's in a relationship and has been for a little bit over a year, I think. Like 13 or 14 months. She's a single soldier and lives in the barracks (which has it's pros & cons). Earlier today, she was telling me about something that's not making her happy. She's trying to take leave with her boyfriend so that he can go home with her and meet her parents. She wants him to meet her dad so that they can talk and after that, she wants to marry her boyfriend. Okay....

Thing is, her boyfriend is up for promotion. Doesn't mean he'll get, but he's eligible for it so he has to go to this school (WLC for those who know). It's like a prerequisite for the promotion. He leaves sometime in the next monhth for it..well, he's not leaving but it won't leave time for him to do much of anything else cause the school is almost all day. So he can't take leave until October maybe.

Well, I told her it's okay. You guys will be able to take leave together eventually so don't worry. That's when she said everything about meeting the parents. Then she said something like "I'm ready to move out of the barracks and we've already been together for a year...". So I said, just being nice, not trying to sound bitter or jealous cause I'm single "don't rush it just cause you wanna move out of the barracks. The barracks ain't that bad. Hell, if I could move back in with DD, I would! You don't have to worry about bills and whatnot". Then she said "I'm not rushing it, it's just when you get something in your head and you wanna do it and can't, you get upset"-referring to the leave. So I was like yeah, but you wanna enjoy yourself first before you jump into a marriage. You're young, just enjoy yourself and be single" (by single I mean unmarried). And the conversation went to another topic. Now I took the long way around it, but I really didn't mean to come off as the 'everyone should be single like me cause I'm hater' but she wanted to marry her last boyfriend and that didn't turn out well. I'm just a really big person on not jumping into something that because of silly reasons like "I want out of the barracks". So 1 question: did I seem like the jealous, scorned, bitter angry woman and 2. is it just me or does it seem like she wants to rush just so she can get out of the barracks?

by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:12 PM
Replies (11-14):
mrsary
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:47 PM

That is the joke on me & I only have 3. lol. I think 3 seems like more cause everyone knows the Father isn't around, plus I have no family support. Also if u were around me u would think I have the greatest life ever, cause I am super bouncy & happy (Thank you to Monster Energy Drinks!!!). I am that person everyone says needs to be "taken to the MP station". lmao

Quoting Tish_Hughes:

We're always messing around at work. Today I was messing with this guy who has 5 kids. I was like "Jenkins just going around giving away babies" and the dude I was talking to was like "I'll give some babies away". From there, it was total chaos. Makes work fun...and it also didn't help that "Dora" is Dominican and fluent in Spanish, LOL!! LOL.

And 1SG? Don't get me started on that man. And my old platoon sgt who's now a 1SG...OH LORD JESUS, that man! HIL-AR-I-OUS!

Quoting mrsary:

Sounds like the office I work in. We are a riot, from C.O. down to 1SG down to the new PVT... I work in BDE HQ. Lol.


Quoting Tish_Hughes:

I get along with everyone at work, some more than others. She's one of those few that falls in the more category, lol. There was no sarcasm or anything like that, actually it was really friendly. That's how we talk. So after she said "I'm not rushing", I said oh okay...and I think we switched the subject. That's probably when she told someone said someone else looked like Dora the Explorer with her new haircut, lmfao.


 


MandiFuego
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:55 AM

to me it seems like she's like, well, it's been a year, lets settle on down, and get my a$$ out the barracks...ok screw it, I'ma use AF words LMAO we call those DORMS. but anywhoo, seems like she wants to get away from the other peoples, and is using her relationship as a "might as well" situation. Now, I wanted to marry my BF after a year, but as this year is coming up, we're not ready for all that... it's not like our life together has been..easy so I need a bit more than a year to make sure I can handle this forever u know( I'm thinking this next year should be more balanced)...but my question is, is she thinking about forever, or right now? But, anyway, it didn't seem like U were being jealous or a hater, just seemed like u care for her, and want to make sure she's using her head...and not jumping the gun on the whole marriage thing, cuz it might not turn out to be what she wants it to be. And shoot, if I could be active duty and in the dorms, I wud be lol no rent, no real bills...shooot they dunno when they have it good...I mean, I guess it's pretty much the same with base housing, cept ur neighbors are RIGHT THERE, and U can hear every conversation they have on the cell phone! BLAH I hated that lol like..wtf can I hear the people that live next to u and they're on the OTHER side of the house?

CoolRelax
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 8:52 AM

Sounds like you gave her good advice.  One of the signs that a person is mature enough for marriage is the ability to prioritize.  Right now it seems like the bf has his head on straight, and she is rushing.  That's not a wise move.  One thing about being young (speaking of myself too) is that everything feels like it has to happen right this second or it won't happen at all.  This is the last party ever, the last boyfriend ever, the last vacation ever.  As I've gotten older I realize that I get the best outcome when I give something time to develop the way it's supposed to. 

akingsmom
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 9:04 AM
U probably did come off bitter scorned etc simply because as a young woman that's how she gone see it. As far as her moving she gotta learn everything you want ain't good for you.
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