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African American Mommies African American Mommies

So yesterday, my son asked me about getting a new pair of sneakers. I told him I would but I am not paying a whole lot of money for them until he starts doing what he suppose to do around the house and with school work. He cops an attitude. To make a long story short, he told me, "I don't think it is fair that you get almost $800 a month in child support for me and I can't get what I want". WTF?!?! So I said, "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!..... wait a minute. Who told you that I get almost $800 a month in child support?" He states, "My grandmother and father." I was livid and I told my son a whole list of things including the following, 1) I do not get almost $800 per month in child support so I don't know why they told you that lie, but I will take that up with them; 2) If you are not doing what you are suppose to do at home and at school, then I am not going to spend more for the stuff you want; 3) If I got you everything you wanted, you would not have any money left for your business (he will be starting his own shaved ice snowball business within a week if God wills it); 4) I only get $43 per month in food stamps so I have to still get groceries for you (I only use a small amount of his support for that purpose).

Needless to say, I took it up with his grandmother about the child support matter and I did respectfully give her a piece of my mind. She told that her son told her that I get almost $800 per month in child support and how he does not feel it is fair and that my son was within earshot and heard it. So after I had probably a 15 minute conversation with her about various BS, I asked my son why he told me what he told me thinking he lied and he told me they both told him the amount and on separate occasions and that when he would ask for something while with them, he would be told that your mother is getting child support for you.

I don't mind my son knowing that I get child support because I told him I do and explained to him that it does not cover everything that he needs. But what I don't appreciate is being lied on. This man has not changed one d-mn bit! He always has to try to make me look bad to others including my son (something happened before where he was speaking ill of me to my son. Huhhh!) so that they will feel some kind of way about me. But the sh** that gets me is that he is complaining about the child support amount that I agreed to at the child support office and signed the d-mn papers! If I was inconsiderate of the fact that he has two other children, I could have told them that the higher amount was just fine. Wow! Ungrateful a$$ n***a. Makes me wonder what the h-ll else has been said about me.

by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 6:10 AM
Replies (11-17):
Iamalwaysme
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 2:12 PM

SMH.... that is just crazy that he would tell his child a lie like that to try to make you look back.

queensweet
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 4:25 PM

I disagree. I find that children especially boys have a one track mind so only see things one way. I think it is important to explain to them about basic finances since they think that money is continuously plentishful. Because his father and grandmother pulled the BS they pulled , my son being 12 years old needed a reality check and the truth. However, I did not go into how much I do get every month because that is a legal matter between his father and I which should have stayed private.

But I do to some degree put some blame on my son because I feel he should not have been trying to see whom he can manipulate to get him the stuff I told him he could not have unil he got his self together at home and with school. This gave them the amunition to say what they said to him which I feel was disrespectful and very unnecessary. I feel as though they could have just said ask your mother. But of course that was too much like right because since they rather to make an attempt to throw me under the bus.

Quoting MandiFuego:

smh, this is too much for me. I just can't see explaining all of that to a child. Regardless of WHAT you get from his dad. How YOU spend the money is up to you.....I'm just not one to explaining to the kids I care for what's going on between adults. My son's only 8, but a curious 8. He doesn't live with me full time. He asked me ONCE why he was going to live with his dad and I simply told him, we were doing what was best for him...enough said.

Although, I will say, it's sad that the dad feels paying CS is all he has to do, that's terrible.


GoddessNDaRuff
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 4:45 PM
2 moms liked this

Men kill me with the complaining about child support. Stop making babies or act right so you can stay with the mothers and you won't have to pay the shit. UGH!!!!! Then want to try to make the kids mother look in the wrong because of the amount he has to pay. Dumbass it's to support your child and is the cost of the child's NEEDS based on your income. Not the child's wants so to even play the I'm paying CS so I can' buy you xyz is bullshit. GRRR.


4kings1queen
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2012 at 9:40 PM
Girl they so dang on sad. This is why i dont discuss grown up business with kids.
Kandie7113
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 9:59 PM
I get $140 every two weeks. I am raising a 15yr old who wears a size 11 in men shoes. Who eats $100 worth a food a week. So when my ex tells my son that I break it down all the way to socks
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SunFlower700
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2012 at 10:06 PM

I know how ou feel.  My ex and his wife would speak ill of me in front of my kids.  Even though I've done nothing, said nothing to or about them.  When they turned 12 years of age, they no longer wanted to go for visitation (even when I encouraged them to go).  The law here states that when a child turns 12 years of age, they can no longer be forced to go to their scheduled visitation.  My sons are now 13 and 18 years old and have not called or visited their dad in years.  Moral of the story, your ex speaking ill of you in front of your son is going to ruin his relationship with his son to the point where it may not be able to be fixed.

mizhoward
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 4:50 AM
My ex pulled the same stunt with my daughter when she was about 7 years old. He had the never to tell her that she could get whatever she wanted with the child support that he sent in spurts because he was always behind. His ordered amount was only $166 per month because he lied and said he was selling cars and got paid on commission, was first ordered to pay $500 and got it modified all the while still running his barber shop. He paid a lump sum to get caught up last year and stopped paying again, we just went to court last Monday because he was arrested for contempt; raised cs to $200 to cover arrears and not supposed to miss a month. We will see how that goes, supposed to have a payment in before this month is out. I know you are upset because of what they told your son, but at least you are getting yours. I would probably still be telling them off for telling him that.
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