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My man's soon to be ex wife makes me want to catch a domestic violence case....uuugghh! i really wish she would get a life and stop the drama!

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This woman is bananas point blank. Im really starting to think she doesn't have all marbles! I've been with my man for goin on three years. Been living together for two. He was separated for at least a year and a half before i came in the picture. They broke up cuz he cheated. He tried to work things out with her but she told him she wanted out and slept with one of his coworkers and was living with the dude. When things didn't work out with that she kept trying to cry him a river so he would take her back. But he said he wanted to be with me because she made her decision. Long story short she is always using his son as a pawn to cause drama in our relationship. It started with...he can only series child if he comes to her. Shut that down early. Then when the son did meet me n we bonded very well with myself , my son and my family, she constantly would coach him to say it not my real mom and my son isn't his real brother ..every weekend its something new. I mean , i understand she might be feeling a way cuz her son is most likely annoying her with details of our family bonding time. However, i have taken their son to the doctor, cooked cleaned and loved this child like my own...right now i need a advice on how i can effectively respect this womans position and get her to respect mine cuz im not going anywhere. We have plans to marry and have a child together. But the straw that broke the camels back was when i bought their sons graduation outfit but wasn't "allowed" to attend. I just want us all to get along for the children'ssake. She has a man but is constantly trying to ruin our lives. She won't work and is constantly taking him to court for spousal support and complains about her citizenship but was here since 88 Married to an American citizen for 6 years n still nothing! I know she is just dragging the divorce on to c if she can get him for as long as she can! Any suggestion s on how to get along with her? I don't know what else to do ;(
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 12:29 AM
Replies (31-40):
Number1Diva
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:37 AM
I agree with u 100% all i can do is pray. Thanks for listening ;)
Quoting Ara7:

That is a lot of drama that is not going to get better until their son turns 18. Your guy should have handled the drama before getting into a relationship with ANYONE. It takes two and him and his soon-to-be ex-wife have a boat load of it. I think a different approach at the onset of your relationship would have helped a great deal. Since that is not possible, he needs to handle the situation because it is his mess. He needs to go to the root of the problem and that is something that is between his ex and him. She is agnry for some reason whether it is justified or not and it is having a large impact on both families. Have you ever tried to calm down an angry lion? Unfortunately, I don't think you can fix what is wrong here.... the drama is part of the package because that is what your guy left on the plate when he offered you a life. You should have an expectation for him to offer you a CLEAN plate of life and not dealing with his drama. She is his headache and now she is yours. At this point, just pray that the situation gets better.


Litlmama87
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:54 AM
4 moms liked this
Add homelessness to his nomination for the Humanitarian Award.

You know an awful lot about their failed marriage and how at fault she is, tell me, what can you tell me about their DIVORCE?

...pause

...crickets


Quoting Number1Diva:

LmAo.... Really? He dint marry her just for citizenship but she needed that n him being loyal n caring he did what any REAL man who claims to love you is supposed to do? Have you ever been married?things were rough and he worked and supported her for 10 years while she did nothing n blacked on getting her papers. He was homeless dricing trucks OF sending her money she spent with the dude she was with then, who was my mans coworker whom she was fucking and living wit. Bottom line i have an ex husband and child with my ex...and his not a bad guy but I definitely caught the come up across the board. You don't know enough about the situation to try slander him but I was single for seven years and I know the kind u chat bout. And I know he is a good man who got caught up with the wrong woman. N as far as him cheating...he was wrong and admitted it. He reallytried to win her back and on that note two wrongs don't make a right and I wise woman will build up her home, not tear it apart
Quoting Litlmama87:

I'm ctfu @ this citizenship story, they got married because he pitied her, and played Captain Save-a-Alien? Risked his own good standing with the supreme court for a good cause, AND threw some sticky icky sperm in there just for good measure? Yeah you snatched yourself up a good one. A humanitarian type. Save the world.

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LadyT78758
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 12:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I know she does....but save that ass whooping.  You may get to give it to her on your way out the door.  I know you love your man, but if the relationship is not meant to be, God will remove him from your life.  All bet's are off then....LOL  

On a serious note....she is serving 1 purpose, maybe 2.  Keeps reminding your man of his past mistake and keeps him devoted to you. Her behavior makes you SHINE.  Keep loving and keep smiling, let her die and old bitter woman.

Quoting Number1Diva:

I understand. Thanks for listening. I wouldn't really fight unless i had to..lol i think in a little old for that..hehe she just gets to me sometimes
Quoting LadyT78758:

I agree with alot of these other women...sorry.  Being a wife trumps EVERYTHING.  All relationships = drama.  Thats why you date, get to know the guy, that way you can pick and choose what you will deal with.  If she is acting that ignorant, you just gotta let go of this "happily ever after" and focus on right now.  And catching a case for a beatdown, won't bring those children any closer together.  Pray on it....Good luck. 



girl giving flower

Ara7
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 3:57 PM

I will be praying for your family. Blessings

BarbadianBeauty
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 4:47 PM
7 moms liked this
Imma have to agree with the others. Your man needs to settle this. Not you. Just like the situation with my DH's mother. I hate her guts and so does all her kids. she acts a damn fool because I'm with him. I can't fix a family situation that isn't my family. Just like you can't fix their dying relationship. To be perfectly honest it seems like you made it worse by jumping in the picture. Should have waited until their drama was over with. If I was his wife and you jumped in, I'd be a bitch to you too. Maybe you should remove yourself from THEIR drama. That's his ex not yours. Let him solve it and be the one to deal with it. No need to stress yourself with other peoples drama. Especially if it didn't involve you in the first place. I wish you the best of luck though. :T only God knows how it's gonna end.
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Number1Diva
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:04 AM
Your shrink told me about your selective reading condition and how it affects your ability to effectively respond. If you read all of my posts I've already said what i know about it what stage its in and all.....smh...side effects. There is a cure tho.....its called dropoutthebitterbuddiesclubandreadabook;)
Quoting Litlmama87:


nikabear
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like you are attacking the ones that are not agreeing with you. Has nothing to do with being bitter.....i think that you are the bitter one because like every other woman has stated they are still married......and you are just the side piece. You dont start something new until the old situation has been handled.....its not your place to work it out its up to them.....


Quoting Number1Diva:

Your shrink told me about your selective reading condition and how it affects your ability to effectively respond. If you read all of my posts I've already said what i know about it what stage its in and all.....smh...side effects. There is a cure tho.....its called dropoutthebitterbuddiesclubandreadabook;)
Quoting Litlmama87:



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CoolRelax
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:03 AM
3 moms liked this

Nobody in this situation is looking to good right now.  Everybody is grown, but nobody wants to show patience or good judgement.  Just want what you want when you want it.  Who cares if both of y'all are still married, guess you'll figure it out later.

Years ago I was involved with a man who was married "just because his divorce wasn't finalized."  His stbx wife had a new man, new baby, everything.  It still sucked, I realized he was basically afraid to officially divorce this woman because he knew he'd be cleaned out in court.  He was selfish, and she was dumb as hell.  And I felt like a super dummy because I had no reason to be fooling with him.

You should take a couple steps back.  Seriously.  I know you feel like "you're not going anywhere" but this is a big mess that your s/o has to fix.  You can't do it, and if anything your presence just complicates the matter.  As of this moment she doesn't have to allow that child anywhere near you, you have no legal standing.  You may have his heart but she's holding all the cards. Not gonna attack you, but avoiding that mess is why you want to wait until the divorce is final before you start on the next relationship. 

mspecan_tan
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this

 Funny thing is you already know this situation is not going to get better until you remove yourself from it. And she may very well remain married to him just because .... smh .... and you will remain his side chic.

mrzsimmons322
by Crystal on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:31 AM
2 moms liked this

my mans soon to be ex-wife key word "Soon" meaning they are still married and that means he's NOT your man he's her man. This is a messy situation all around. God forbid if something tragic happens to him you will not have any say so at all Wife trumps mistress!!!

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