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My man's soon to be ex wife makes me want to catch a domestic violence case....uuugghh! i really wish she would get a life and stop the drama!

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This woman is bananas point blank. Im really starting to think she doesn't have all marbles! I've been with my man for goin on three years. Been living together for two. He was separated for at least a year and a half before i came in the picture. They broke up cuz he cheated. He tried to work things out with her but she told him she wanted out and slept with one of his coworkers and was living with the dude. When things didn't work out with that she kept trying to cry him a river so he would take her back. But he said he wanted to be with me because she made her decision. Long story short she is always using his son as a pawn to cause drama in our relationship. It started with...he can only series child if he comes to her. Shut that down early. Then when the son did meet me n we bonded very well with myself , my son and my family, she constantly would coach him to say it not my real mom and my son isn't his real brother ..every weekend its something new. I mean , i understand she might be feeling a way cuz her son is most likely annoying her with details of our family bonding time. However, i have taken their son to the doctor, cooked cleaned and loved this child like my own...right now i need a advice on how i can effectively respect this womans position and get her to respect mine cuz im not going anywhere. We have plans to marry and have a child together. But the straw that broke the camels back was when i bought their sons graduation outfit but wasn't "allowed" to attend. I just want us all to get along for the children'ssake. She has a man but is constantly trying to ruin our lives. She won't work and is constantly taking him to court for spousal support and complains about her citizenship but was here since 88 Married to an American citizen for 6 years n still nothing! I know she is just dragging the divorce on to c if she can get him for as long as she can! Any suggestion s on how to get along with her? I don't know what else to do ;(
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 12:29 AM
Replies (171-180):
iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 2:52 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree...if ur the one he wants so bad...he'd be sure to make the divorce finalized and u really shouldn't have gotten involved until u knew it was really over... he seems a little asshole- ish no offense intended... he cheats first expects her to work it out with him but when she does the crime he bounces on her..how one sided is that.. now I'm not saying two wrongs make a right but...hell he did it first.. obviously it hurt her that she followedup with a crime of her own..and she's still not at peace with it...and girl that's that boys mama she just don't want u taking All the men inher life... and altoughvu may hve come after the initial break up as far as she sees it u didn't give them space to even try to salvage their marriage... if he didn't have u there for "comfort in his wrong"he may very well have come back to her....u may luv him but fact of the matter is he ain't ur man..legally speaking he's still hers...and she ain't gonna let him go that easy
.it may b hard pill to swallow but the truth usually is!...I'll b keeping u and ur situation in prayer hun!

Quoting Litlmama87:

What did you expect?



He's a married man, & thats his wife.



This is why everything for custody, divorce, & support orders should already be in place before getting involved with someone.


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iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:01 AM
As far as she sees it he dud wrong first then her and instead of him calling a truce and working it out he dipped on her...for u bc even tho u came after u were there long enuff to keep his mind on u...and again with payback she gotta man only bc she can't have her husband.. the one she obviously still luvs bc u r there!


Quoting Number1Diva:

I don't need her to be nice..i want her to be fair and put her kid first keep her personal feelings out of the equation. Did you not c the part where i said she has a man too? Their son spends night with them too but that's ok right? Give me a break it seems slot of women like to c things one sided. "NONE IS ALLOWED TO MOURN FOR A THING TOSSED"
Quoting honey27:

she truthfully doesnt have to be nice to u. i wouldnt. she's the one thats married to him so its gonna go her way until they get divorced. so good luck on this situation wouldnt want to be in this drama forever. 



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iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:04 AM
We all run the risk of forgetting our wisdom when we are blinded by excruciating pain...u stick up for him so much...as if she is the devil..I'm sure u never even heard her side of it


Quoting Number1Diva:

LmAo.... Really? He dint marry her just for citizenship but she needed that n him being loyal n caring he did what any REAL man who claims to love you is supposed to do? Have you ever been married?things were rough and he worked and supported her for 10 years while she did nothing n blacked on getting her papers. He was homeless dricing trucks OF sending her money she spent with the dude she was with then, who was my mans coworker whom she was fucking and living wit. Bottom line i have an ex husband and child with my ex...and his not a bad guy but I definitely caught the come up across the board. You don't know enough about the situation to try slander him but I was single for seven years and I know the kind u chat bout. And I know he is a good man who got caught up with the wrong woman. N as far as him cheating...he was wrong and admitted it. He reallytried to win her back and on that note two wrongs don't make a right and I wise woman will build up her home, not tear it apart
Quoting Litlmama87:

I'm ctfu @ this citizenship story, they got married because he pitied her, and played Captain Save-a-Alien? Risked his own good standing with the supreme court for a good cause, AND threw some sticky icky sperm in there just for good measure? Yeah you snatched yourself up a good one. A humanitarian type. Save the world.


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iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:06 AM
Tru bc I know definitely in NC U could b sued and locked up and ur children taken away!


Quoting 4kings1queen:

Quoting Number1Diva:




My marriage was very legal. Like i had my own man. Not nobidy else's. I left him and i was his only babymama until he passed away. I wasnt sitting around waiting on the nigga to man up i was tired of his mammy. He CONTESTED it and i didnt have an expensive lawyer. Took what ummmm, 1 damn year. You cant get mad cuz people in here is looking at you some kind of way cuz you claiming something that aint yours. If i was the wife somebody woul be paying THE WIFE for the mistress sitting in my husbands space. Ya see you can be sued. You and your man. Stomps out!

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iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:15 AM
U keep talking bout her wrong but think u had no wrong...ur wrong was stepping in...u should have given them space to work on their marriage u didn't so this is ur consequence... best u can do is try to b nice urself as my mom says to make a friend u must first show urself friendly.
But to b honest u prob still won't get her to b better towards u bc regardless in her eyes u are the home-wrecker that's holding her man hostage...she said that she didn't want him to make u think she was stronger than she is she can't let the enemy.. in her eyes that's u think she's hurt... but really she is and u make it worse!

Quoting Number1Diva:

Hahaha!For the record in not mad at anyone's reply because thats just YOUR opinion. No one here is holier than thou so knock it off...lmao. funny thing is i came on here just to vent and get advice on how to come to a positive solution n I've come to the conclusion that some have been hurt on the other side and obviously are still bitter and unhappy. I can understand that but i put basically the whole scenario in a nutshell and the only responses out of all that was said is that he is still married . Her contribution to her failed marriage has nothing to do with me, and they were separated before he and i hooked up. But i hear no response in connection to that or the fact that she did dirt too and she told me out of her own mouth that she didnot want him anymore until her n her last man broke up . Bottom line I respond to people the way they come at me it has nothin to do with what u said because your opinion is just that. I like to keep an open mind...you should try it sometimes...its good for the heart ;) I wish you and all the moms on here happiness and success...smooches hun;)
Quoting honey27:


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iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Go Jersey my home state!!


Quoting Litlmama87:

From Jersey



Quoting _AshlynNicole:

Lmao!!!!!!! Oh shit that just made my day!!!!!!! Btw are you from the dmv area? I haven't heard CTFU in a min.





Quoting Litlmama87:

I'm ctfu @ this citizenship story, they got married because he pitied her, and played Captain Save-a-Alien? Risked his own good standing with the supreme court for a good cause, AND threw some sticky icky sperm in there just for good measure?

Yeah you snatched yourself up a good one. A humanitarian type. Save the world.

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iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:30 AM
Yes indeed!


Quoting BarbadianBeauty:

Sitting on the throne? That's still the sideline! X__X idk why you can't see that you made the issue worse. Come on. He's married to her still. Your just dating him. What in your mind thinks a girlfriend can top a wife? Until he divorces her and marries you, you ain't got nun to be upset about. You're tryna come at the wrong people. Need to come for yourself. If anybody here needs a reality check it's you. This is what you get. The sideline don't need to be in the wife's business. If I came up to you while you're fighting, and bust you in your face I canNOT get upset when you hit me back. For all his WIFE knows you probably are the chick he cheated on her with. I mean really. You should know better than to get involved with a married man with emotional baggage like that, that has not been resolved yet.

And just what the hell makes you think you should be allowed around her son? Datin the daddy is not enough. Just because you got him clothes doesn't mean you automatically got rights to be at the graduation. That's like me buying a stranger maternity clothes and then expecting to be allowed in the delivery room. You're not his mom and those aren't his brothers soooo I'm not understanding why you think that is crazy. You should have read through your post before you clicked submit. Nobody is going to help you with this because the only person in the wrong are you and the married man you messin with.

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iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:39 AM
Jus cuz u see him on the weekend and summers doesn't make u his damn momma...see that's the problem u keep trying to take her spot when u can't.. it'd b sad for sumthing to happen to "ur man" while he married an u get banned from the daggone funeral cuz u ain't got no damn rights....God forbid.. but girl u really just need to back off...b what u r the damn girlfriend... u ain't getting crowned until she gives up the crown and by the looks of things that ain't happening no time soon....and what'sthis when u have his baby u will b official ish??...a baby don't mean nothing in this...then u would b jus renamed the side line ho with his baby.... come on wake up u gotta realize u r better than this...I mean really.. then when u have his baby and he cheats on u like he obviously did her u will b looking like boo boo the damn fool...Face reality babe u can Never justify being the side chick...and u r bc u ain't got no damn papers smdh!..hell u prob ain't even got a damn promise ring smh!


Quoting Number1Diva:

He is still married, that card is very valuable. Like i said he is in the final stages of divorce. She is the one holding things up so she can keep the title cuz she was sucking and selling the next man. She thnew him away and i caught the come up now she's hating. The son comes over every weekend n we have him for the summers so i am already in his life. When we get married n have a child god willing it will make it official but both our families US together. I don't have to imagine cuz all that is real. She is the one that needs to do the imagining. He fucked up n so did she...no comments on that tho right. Give me a break.n i don't care what she does as long as his son is ok and she is not causing friction in our relationship. All in saying is she chose to leave so what did she think was gonna happen. She tried to get the one up on him and now look he got one in her..She is still married but her body can be someone else's by her own choice and he issupposed to be miserable...oh please..i knew some people were gonna disagree but darn facts are facts. He fucked up and SHE decided to move on and so did she until her shot flopped and he is still happy. Also im not his mother but i do treat him like my own and he loves me for it. Its crazy how the ex woman feels she should have say in who the man has the child around but she can have them around whoever lm an ex wife too and as long as the woman he chooses is good to my son i don't care. He has to live his life and i had to expect that it will eventually include another woman.
Quoting nikabear:

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g0dd3ss2012
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:45 AM
Wish I could like this about 10 times..lol
Quoting Diva-Mami:

I just read this entire mess and her is my last two cent. You are not #1, irl you are #3. His wife is 2, son #2. Do you know what joint legal custody is? Let me inform you. It means that the have the samw rights as far as schools and dr apts and other things. They have equal say. That is not visitation or when je can see the child.

I am,married. My children have the same father, my dh. This man talks good game. Its obvious by how you ate defending him. The dick must be good too. But the truth of the matter is he is still married, living with you and doing what. If he cared about you he would have forced the divorce a long time ago. He would not have waited for her to get her green card. She is going to fight every step of the way because yall are playing with her life, her citizenship. So she aint gonna be nice, get over it. You are not the step mother so you dont have a leg to stand on. Do what you want but if you choose to stay with him, then you need to learn to play your position, which is on the sidelone.

And you surely havent thought about this, but you should. What if he is plating this good game so that you allow him to lay up in your bed rent free and if his divorce go through hes out the door? Then you sitting here lookin like booboo da fool. These women here gave you good advise stop playing house until he gets his in order. Why would a man buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? My grandmother told me that. Let mr share it with you in case you never heard it. Take a step back and look at the situation from the outside. What would you tell your friend if the situation was reversed. I bet you would say the same thing we all said. If its meant to be, it will be. You dont have to fight that damn hard. You fight because you know we tellin you the truth. If he is so good then he will come for you when he is free.

iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:46 AM
Aaaamen!!


Quoting nikabear:

Let the church say Amen!!!




Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

And I'm just go on ahead but put it out there



A true Queen doesn't have to wait for her crown. She's already donned it before she even walked through the door and her subjects bow at her feet whether she is wearing it or not because everything about her exudes royalty.



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