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Since I've had Lia

Posted by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:49 AM
  • 7 Replies

I'm in pain, I'm thinking I don't think I want to have any more kids, my biggest fear was a c csection, but I was surprisingly relaxed when I wasn't able to push her out....didn't start freaking out til I realized they took her away and I couldn't hold her. I'm a lot more into her than my BF right now ( which is why I have to go BACK to the hospital tomorrow, cuz neither one of us signed the damn birth certificate) I'm on Percs and motrin. Breastfeeding is SO relaxing. I literally have to feed her against the wall in the corner on the bed cuz I start to doze off like she does. Although in pain, I still feel pretty amazing ( as long as I'm doped up) I'm looking at my body, and really surprised by my stretch marks...there wasn't so many BEFORE I had her...they're really light though, I actualy kinda enjoy them, like little badges of honor. Did I mention my emotions are psycho? Not mean or anything just can't seem to go a day without crying. My bf thought I was in pain cuz I was in the backseat with the baby crying softly, but, I'm not sad, I'm just amazingly BLESSED. I know she came to me ONLY by the Grace of God....I kinda screwed up as a parent before, but I can't do that this time. I want everything to be about her. I pray my selfishness NEVER causes me to hurt her in any way. I've been trying to tell myself to pick up the bible, because I know it's ok and He forgives me....but the flesh has a lot more control over me than I thought...and I'm really afraid of taking the wrong path. I've decided I want to make sure I'm really hearing God, before I move. I lied to myself and told myself that I heard God telling me to be with my BF..I do love and care about him greatly, but I don't think that our relationship was the will of God. Only true time and listening will tell.

In the past week ALONE, I've learned so much about myself, that I need to work on. Truth is, I'm scared. I'm not as confident as I was before in God, and I know that's all on me letting satan get in my head. I can talk a good game, but when I had to be truly honest with myself and talked to someone that really sees through me. She made it impossible for me to be anything but honest.

So, I'm working on a new me. To be the best me God can offer. The best parent I can be. To grow up and be a SHINING example to my children.

OAN: My bf "cleaned" I appreciate his efforts ( he also got me flowers, first time EVER omg) once I heal up enough ( I'm thinking this weekend) I want to  clean up a bit more....I know I'm really emotional cuz I just wanna lay up under him with the baby...trying not to, it takes a lot for me to put her in her bassinet, but I know this is for my OWN sanity and her safety...and I also don't want him lookin at me like wtf is wrong with you? LMAO well, yeah...that's that...the most important part was in BLUE

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:49 AM
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Replies (1-7):
.Peaches.
by Le Chatte Noire on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:54 AM
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 Post-partum hormones. Don't make any life-altering decisions for the next few months, you hormones will be out of whack until Lia is about 6 months old. At least, that's the way it was for me...I had PPD after all my kids, but really bad with my middle DD. It wasn't as bad after my youngest DD.

C-sections really aren't as bad as people make them out to be. Yeah, they hurt, but so does vaginal childbirth...its apples and oranges, really. Just take your pain meds as needed, and you'll be surprised how good you feel in 2 weeks.

Enjoy your baby girl, because they sure don't stay small for long.

sexychica25
by Platinum Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:17 AM
I was just about to say girl your hormones are all over the place amped up on drugs. I once lost it changing the sterile strips and it didn't even hurt. Take it one day at a time. So what if the house ain't cleaned to your standards, he's trying.
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MandiFuego
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:27 AM


Quoting sexychica25:

I was just about to say girl your hormones are all over the place amped up on drugs. I once lost it changing the sterile strips and it didn't even hurt. Take it one day at a time. So what if the house ain't cleaned to your standards, he's trying.

That's really all I can ask for...I know he has his own stuff to deal with, He offered to take his "free day" tomorrow night to stay with us, but I need to adjust to this first...I think I'll save that for once I'm ready to leave her with someone and go catch a movie with him ( Aiming for sep?....we'll see lol)

The strips they put on me, I'm supposed to leave on til my PP check on the 27th ( my doctors office is special! My original appointment was the 30th, wtf is 3 days saving me?!)

I know it's the hormones, that what I keep telling him. ( and me)...I just need to hold it together til saturday afternoon!

The good news is, I was so sure I'd be like super depressed by now, so, I'm hoping it just stays to tears I can't explain and slight anxiety. 

iluvmyrcaj
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 2:17 AM
1 mom liked this
Aww u had the baby congratulations my dear!!!8)..God bless u and Lia <3
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leaniece
by Platinum Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 2:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Congrats girl! I had no idea you had your precious baby! It takes time getting used to a new baby with new routines...... Hugs to u! You are right, u ,your hubby, and Lia are very blessed.
Diva-Mami
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Ikr. Girl give him credit for trying. I know men that dont clean ever. Hell, when I got home from having my dd the house looked like 3 tornados hit it.

Quoting sexychica25:

I was just about to say girl your hormones are all over the place amped up on drugs. I once lost it changing the sterile strips and it didn't even hurt. Take it one day at a time. So what if the house ain't cleaned to your standards, he's trying.
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ksbondgirl
by Gold Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 11:01 AM

Every baby brings about some form of change.  Have patience with yourself and don't rush anything.  Besides this...

Make it count!

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