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Would you date a man who has previous domestic violence charges?

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Googled his name and found 2 mug shots (good ole Florida, lol) from 2004 & 2005. One arrest was for domestic violence, the other for domestic violence injunction. He has not told me any of this. I thought something was up with him, because he seems to "perfect". Is it worth the risk? I assume he doesn't want me to know, since he did not tell me.

by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 11:32 AM
Replies (21-30):
mrsary
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 2:52 PM
Lol


Quoting michaelsmom25:

Umm hell no! Its not that hard to to stay out of jail. Smh.

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smiley83
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 3:37 PM
Naw I don't think I could. HOw long have yall been dating? The fact that he hasn't even told you about it is ummm ...shady.IMO
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mrsary
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Idk how long, but not long. We have covered my abusive marriage, some of his drama, & his troubles but he did not mention this! Yesterday he told me he thinks I am the woman he needs & that's when I got skeptical. We work together though. I take things very slowly with everyone & he enjoys the wait. Smh.


Quoting smiley83:

Naw I don't think I could. HOw long have yall been dating? The fact that he hasn't even told you about it is ummm ...shady.IMO

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Stormywaters03
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 3:43 PM
2 moms liked this

This.  I'd ask him about it, or maybe get a full background, but that was long ago, and he may have done extensive anger management, or dealt with those issues and learned conflict resolution.

Also, it might not be what you thought, which is why he didn't mention it.  I know women who have started a fight with a man (been the first to get physical), then got hurt with him trying to restrain her from hitting him, or they were fighting and neither called the police, but a neighbor called from hearing the noise and they BOTH went to jail for domestic violence.

Just find out what the story is, and make an educated decision instead of one based on assumptions.

Quoting 0Kit0:

I'd want to find out first. That could have been anything. If it's repetitive then I would pass but an incident or maybe even two, especially a long time ago, I'd need to know the details. Personally I can't blame someone for defending themselves and some people bring out the worst in others.


mrsary
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 3:49 PM
Exactly! I know he hasn't done any therapy though. He has jumped from marriage to marriage more than twice & has many baby mamas. I don't even know how we got to this point... got so close. I prefered a 1 night stand with him but he was against that.


Quoting Stormywaters03:

This.  I'd ask him about it, or maybe get a full background, but that was long ago, and he may have done extensive anger management, or dealt with those issues and learned conflict resolution.

Also, it might not be what you thought, which is why he didn't mention it.  I know women who have started a fight with a man, then got hurt with him trying to restrain her from hitting him and they BOTH went to jail for domestic violence.

Just find out what the story is, and make an educated decision instead of one based on assumptions.

Quoting 0Kit0:

I'd want to find out first. That could have been anything. If it's repetitive then I would pass but an incident or maybe even two, especially a long time ago, I'd need to know the details. Personally I can't blame someone for defending themselves and some people bring out the worst in others.



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Stormywaters03
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 3:52 PM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like the biggest issue in the relationship isn't his past, but trust.  I mean, you googled him, you probably had a reason for that in the first place...like all the stuff you just said about him.  Lol.

Quoting mrsary:

Exactly! I know he hasn't done any therapy though. He has jumped from marriage to marriage more than twice & has many baby mamas. I don't even know how we got to this point... got so close. I prefered a 1 night stand with him but he was against that.

rayroe2
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this

 I would ask about it you know not like why you got this charge but more like so have you been put in jail for anything etc.

mrsary
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 4:20 PM
It may sound weird, but I google EVERYONE. Lol.


Quoting Stormywaters03:

It
sounds like the biggest issue in the relationship isn't his past, but
trust.  I mean, you googled him, you probably had a reason for that in
the first place...like all the stuff you just said about him.  Lol.

Quoting mrsary:

Exactly! I know he hasn't done any therapy though. He has jumped from marriage to marriage more than twice & has many baby mamas. I don't even know how we got to this point... got so close. I prefered a 1 night stand with him but he was against that.




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mrsary
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2012 at 4:21 PM
Good idea. I can bring it up w out saying I know. We have already had STD talks & he confessed to that so this shouldn't be any different!


Quoting rayroe2:

 I would ask about it you know not like why you got this charge but more like so have you been put in jail for anything etc.


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rayroe2
by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 4:23 PM

 excatly. how long you been talking with him?

Quoting mrsary:

Good idea. I can bring it up w out saying I know. We have already had STD talks & he confessed to that so this shouldn't be any different!


Quoting rayroe2:

 I would ask about it you know not like why you got this charge but more like so have you been put in jail for anything etc.


 

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