Update so we texted and its done and I do.have that sense of calm. I just can't do this anymore. He is stressed with life and instead of include me he shut me out. When I got mad and asked why he was ignoring me he just let it all out . Like I am a mind reader and knew these things. He was then like he's out or whatever. I will miss him but I just can't do this anymore. I ask him to just leave me alone and let me move on. I love him but I feel like I'm not a part of his life aand he needs his space to work on him and his life.I just hope he leave me alone. I don't contact him he's the one who always contacts me. I want to just move on from this. Thank everyone for your input.