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Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:00 PM
  • 14 Replies
As i mention before, my 10 yr old son died this summer from Lukemia. My 77 yr old mom passed away in 2010. Now when i bring out pictures of my son, or talk about remembering, him in any type of way... my 19 yr old son, ask me why i dont bring out pictures of my mom? First of all shamely i dont have any pictures of my mom, except the one of her in her casket.

Its not that i dont love my mom, or miss her. But my son was my child, who expects to bury their child? He was only 10, didnt get a chance to blossom. On the other hand my mom lived 77 yrs, we expect the elderly to pass.. but not a child.

When a elderly person die, we should celebrate their life, they were blessed to live so long... because many are dying so young.

My son made me feel wrong, for remembering my deceased child, i will never and cant forget him. I would always talk about him. Also i will never forget my mother. But i just think its sadder when a child is taken so soon. Do you agree?
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by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:14 PM
3 moms liked this
I don't agree with your son! I am sorry for your loss! Your mom lived her life she saw her children have children. I would say your son is probably missing his baby brother more than you know? Explain to him this is to help you heal. And he has to find his as well. My dad passed away in 2010 I understand how it is to lose a parent! But not a child. My youngest son is 10yo. :'(
((Hugs))
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Chelsea_rh
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:26 PM

Don't worry about what your son said. You are correct. Did you explain to him about your mother living a long life and your child not even getting to fully experience his short life? It may just be too hard for him to understand and maybe even with an explanation he will not agree. I think once he has children he will know what you are feeling. You are not doing anything wrong.  I havent lost a parent, but ive lost a grandparent and it is rough. I only have a few pictures of my grandfather and only 2 of my grandmother... Maybe your son is missing both his brother and grandmother and he has not found the proper way to grieve?  Im so sorry for your loss. 

hopealways4019
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:11 PM
Thank you! Well said!


Quoting Chelsea_rh:

Don't worry about what your son said. You are correct. Did you explain to him about your mother living a long life and your child not even getting to fully experience his short life? It may just be too hard for him to understand and maybe even with an explanation he will not agree. I think once he has children he will know what you are feeling. You are not doing anything wrong.  I havent lost a parent, but ive lost a grandparent and it is rough. I only have a few pictures of my grandfather and only 2 of my grandmother... Maybe your son is missing both his brother and grandmother and he has not found the proper way to grieve?  Im so sorry for your loss. 


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KymberleeAnn
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:28 PM

And in addition to this he may still be grieving in his own way, and this is how he knows how to deal with it.

Quoting hopealways4019:

Thank you! Well said!


Quoting Chelsea_rh:

Don't worry about what your son said. You are correct. Did you explain to him about your mother living a long life and your child not even getting to fully experience his short life? It may just be too hard for him to understand and maybe even with an explanation he will not agree. I think once he has children he will know what you are feeling. You are not doing anything wrong.  I havent lost a parent, but ive lost a grandparent and it is rough. I only have a few pictures of my grandfather and only 2 of my grandmother... Maybe your son is missing both his brother and grandmother and he has not found the proper way to grieve?  Im so sorry for your loss. 



hopealways4019
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:52 PM
Maybe? His way of grieving , he dont show to many emotions.


Quoting KymberleeAnn:

And in addition to this he may still be grieving in his own way, and this is how he knows how to deal with it.


Quoting hopealways4019:

Thank you! Well said!





Quoting Chelsea_rh:

Don't worry about what your son said. You are correct. Did you explain to him about your mother living a long life and your child not even getting to fully experience his short life? It may just be too hard for him to understand and maybe even with an explanation he will not agree. I think once he has children he will know what you are feeling. You are not doing anything wrong.  I havent lost a parent, but ive lost a grandparent and it is rough. I only have a few pictures of my grandfather and only 2 of my grandmother... Maybe your son is missing both his brother and grandmother and he has not found the proper way to grieve?  Im so sorry for your loss. 





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KymberleeAnn
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:12 PM

Before your little boy died was your 19 year a type of child who did not show much emotions; or did he just become that way since his baby brother dies?

Quoting hopealways4019:

Maybe? His way of grieving , he dont show to many emotions.


Quoting KymberleeAnn:

And in addition to this he may still be grieving in his own way, and this is how he knows how to deal with it.


Quoting hopealways4019:

Thank you! Well said!





Quoting Chelsea_rh:

Don't worry about what your son said. You are correct. Did you explain to him about your mother living a long life and your child not even getting to fully experience his short life? It may just be too hard for him to understand and maybe even with an explanation he will not agree. I think once he has children he will know what you are feeling. You are not doing anything wrong.  I havent lost a parent, but ive lost a grandparent and it is rough. I only have a few pictures of my grandfather and only 2 of my grandmother... Maybe your son is missing both his brother and grandmother and he has not found the proper way to grieve?  Im so sorry for your loss. 






hopealways4019
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:46 PM
My 19 yr old have never shown emotions, even when his grandma and brother were sick. He didnt want to go to their funeral. He didnt go to either viewing. Idk?


Quoting KymberleeAnn:

Before your little boy died was your 19 year a type of child who did not show much emotions; or did he just become that way since his baby brother dies?


Quoting hopealways4019:

Maybe? His way of grieving , he dont show to many emotions.





Quoting KymberleeAnn:

And in addition to this he may still be grieving in his own way, and this is how he knows how to deal with it.



Quoting hopealways4019:

Thank you! Well said!








Quoting Chelsea_rh:

Don't worry about what your son said. You are correct. Did you explain to him about your mother living a long life and your child not even getting to fully experience his short life? It may just be too hard for him to understand and maybe even with an explanation he will not agree. I think once he has children he will know what you are feeling. You are not doing anything wrong.  I havent lost a parent, but ive lost a grandparent and it is rough. I only have a few pictures of my grandfather and only 2 of my grandmother... Maybe your son is missing both his brother and grandmother and he has not found the proper way to grieve?  Im so sorry for your loss. 









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micka5
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:53 PM

Big ((HUG)) mom....maybe his is still upset i don think he meant to hurt you

MomRocs1102
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:53 PM
Wow sorry for your loss. Your son was wrong for saying that to you all you have left of you child is those pics and memories. I cant imagine lossing a child your mother lived a long life thats a blessing in it self your baby was 10 if helping you cope then that is what you do regardless of what anyone has to say. Do not let any one make you feel bad for that!
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KymberleeAnn
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe that's just his personality to keep things inside, I'm sure he did not mean any harm.

Quoting hopealways4019:

My 19 yr old have never shown emotions, even when his grandma and brother were sick. He didnt want to go to their funeral. He didnt go to either viewing. Idk?


Quoting KymberleeAnn:

Before your little boy died was your 19 year a type of child who did not show much emotions; or did he just become that way since his baby brother dies?


Quoting hopealways4019:

Maybe? His way of grieving , he dont show to many emotions.





Quoting KymberleeAnn:

And in addition to this he may still be grieving in his own way, and this is how he knows how to deal with it.



Quoting hopealways4019:

Thank you! Well said!








Quoting Chelsea_rh:

Don't worry about what your son said. You are correct. Did you explain to him about your mother living a long life and your child not even getting to fully experience his short life? It may just be too hard for him to understand and maybe even with an explanation he will not agree. I think once he has children he will know what you are feeling. You are not doing anything wrong.  I havent lost a parent, but ive lost a grandparent and it is rough. I only have a few pictures of my grandfather and only 2 of my grandmother... Maybe your son is missing both his brother and grandmother and he has not found the proper way to grieve?  Im so sorry for your loss. 










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