I don't know how to cook. Like actual food. Ramen noodles check, hot dogs check, instant mashed potatoes check again, hamburger shouldn't be too hard, canned vegetables can be microwaved other than that nothing. I want to be independant and get my own place because I feel like living at home is hindering me from becoming a real woman.
Here at home I pay no bills other than paying my mother for watching my son while I work, my cell phone and gas in the car other than that nothing. I feel like I'm not a real woman. I mean everything is done for me, my son, my twin brother as well as my cousin. My mother cooks because she says I can't. She washes the clothes because she says that no one can wash them like her when all you have to do is seperate the clothes by colors, put them in the washing machine and let it do its thing. Washing dishes? Nope can't do that either. She says she can only wash her dishes in a certain way. Its like are you serious??
She has basically raised my son since the day he came home from the hospital. Not because I couldn't but because she felt she knew better The 1st year he was with her so much because I was working and in school that he called her mama 1st until I straightened it out . I was 16 at the time and he was/is my first so I guess she felt like she was teaching me the ropes. Here we are 8 years later and he goes to her for EVERYTHING! Permission to do everything from watching tv to being put to sleep. In order for him to go to sleep, she will sing him a song and rub his back and he sleeps with her at night most nights. I tell her that he is too old for that but she thinks he will eventually outgrow it.
I know its a hard world out there and I appreciate my mother for everything she has done for me but at the same time, she isn't going to be here forever. Life ends in death for everyone and I feel like if I am accustomed to staying at home and being cared for, once she passes (which I hope doesn't happen for like 25 more years FX'ed :D ) I will be shell shocked into reality you know?
I don't know how to assert my independance without totally screwing myself over. I mean I'm 24 (will be 25 in September) I'm ready to grow up and come into my own. I know the door is always open if I need/want to come back but I want to experience life. I've never been to a club, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't go out at all. The last time I went to the movies on a date I was 15. Its like I'm stuck.
I post here because I know you ladies give real advice and its from experience not just he said or she said. Plus (and not to offend anyone) black women get black more than white women get black women (if that makes sense) I post certain things in some groups that I don't post in other groups simply because I know the response will be different and more catered towards the situation. Like the situation with my fwb. I post here because I feel like its more of an AA advice situation then a Single Mom situation (although its a little of both) Idk. Advice? I admit that I am more book smart than street smart so I need to learn more about the world and stop trusting everything at face value.