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Son May Not Graduate

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:41 AM
  • 26 Replies

 My son may not graduate in June. Am I the blame for him not graduating. I talked to my son more than once about how important it was for him to do his homework, participate in class and behave in school. He had this one teacher that he claimed didn't like him. I explained to him it didn't matter whether she liked him or he didn't like her. It was about him doing what he needed to do to pass her class. Well, all the talking I did, he failed her class. He also failed another class because he was being lazy. I constantly talked and punished him and nothing seemed to help. He is now two credits shy of not graduating. I am very disappointed in him and myself. My question is: Should I be upset with myself?

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:41 AM
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Stacey1081975
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:51 AM
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HELL NO !!!! He should be doing what he has to do to graduate....My son graduated last June and I couldn't be prouder and no it wasn't easy but he did it with flying colors but if he didn't we would have missed him because I was going to kill him. All i ask it that you do you job which is go to school and make great to good grades and I will make sure you get everything you need and mostof what you want. If my son has decided not to do what was needed to be done in school he wasn't getting anything from me period. He would have got shoes from payless, eat oodles of noddles , hot dogs and beans, sleep on a blanket on the floor and once he turned 16 I would have put him out . I DONT PLAY ABOUT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

krisdev67
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:51 AM
1 mom liked this

 No you shouldn't be upset with yourself.  However what you should do is be proactive and have another conversation with your son.  The conversation should be that it's expected that he returns in the fall to complete those classes for his graduation requirement.  It could be several reasons why your son failed.  I've seen several students that are afraid of graduating because it will make them an adult and have failed on purpose.  My comeback to that has always been, it doesn't matter if you graduate with your class.  Once you turn 18 you are considered an adult and yes there are more expectations that go along with being an adult.

If I were you I would sit him down and ask him what his short term and long term goals are (if you haven't already done this) then I would start pushing him in that direction.

I remember 3 years ago my son was in danger of failing because of his 12th grade english class.  I explained that even if he failed he would have to attend another semester and graduate then.  He got his shit together and he passed. 

Deshonsmommy
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:04 AM

I think that you should share some of the blame, maybe you should have gotten a tutor or sat down with him and made sure he did it. Kids are lazy I get it but that should not be an excuse for them not to try and for you not to make them. imo

Mommabearbergh
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:12 AM
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I agree.

but to add :the parent has some blame in it. just as you want him to be into his education so should you. if he was being lazy sit next to him and push him.if he was strugglign then get a college student to be a tutor. I feel like getting your child to graduate h.s. is the biggest test a parent has to pass. I rather be all up in their space then letting them do it on their own when i know their habit.

Quoting Deshonsmommy:

I think that you should share some of the blame, maybe you should have gotten a tutor or sat down with him and made sure he did it. Kids are lazy I get it but that should not be an excuse for them not to try and for you not to make them. imo



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grandmotherof6
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:21 AM

There is still help for your son, keeping talking to him the important of school, it is not too late, if he don't graduate this summer, he can finish up in the fall, sometimes it takes some of us a littler longer to finish a task, No, don't be upset with yourself nor him, stop punishing him and look for ways that you can help him do better with those subject that he is having a problem in, some churches  have after school tutoring that he may can join, where I live they are free, also talk to his teacher, they might offer some help too, I have a web site that I let my grandkids go to do math, reading, and science, they are smaller but it might be something there for high school, if you want it I will get the address for you,   I have twins that were in high school they are 19 now, one graduate in May last summer on time, but the other one just finish in December 2012, i am very proud of him, but he could have done better and finish in May, but he kept getting himself in trouble with that fighting, they wanted to put him out of school   But I went up to the school and talked with the principle and couselor to let him back in school, and they did, but the principle did say if he got into 1 ounce of trouble he was out. So me and him talked about it, I gave him a choose he could get his GED or High School Diploma, he has his diploma, he came home every even after school to study.  I am sorry this is so long, but we have too many high drop outs, especilly in our young black men!!!!

luvthagirl
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:48 AM
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I agree, good work/study habits starts early on and as parents it's our job to in still those values. IMO you can't wait until Senior year to try and pull it together

Quoting Deshonsmommy:

I think that you should share some of the blame, maybe you should have gotten a tutor or sat down with him and made sure he did it. Kids are lazy I get it but that should not be an excuse for them not to try and for you not to make them. imo

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MomRocs1102
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this

from high school? no you cant blame yourself, he is becoming a man and needs to own up to his mistakes and take responsibility for his actions.  Maybe now he will learn teachers wont hold your hand do the work and handle your business.  He can take them this summer and continue on.  Hope he learned his lesson.

ginene
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:22 AM
1 mom liked this
It's not too late. Make him go to summer school. He can still receive his diploma or see if they have Saturday school so he can graduate. Call up to the school and see what you can do.
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inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:47 AM

It's not too late.  He can go to summer school. Have him with the teacher to see if he can do extra credit work. It's late in the game to scramble, but if he really wants to graduate he can pull it off. 

Dana267
by Group Mod on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Only you can really answer that. Talking and telling him to improve is not the same as developing a pattern of consistently having high expections from birth.


With that being said---sometimes the best lessons for children can only be learned by seeing the connection of the age old "what you put into a thing is what you get out of a thing".

I fuss with my son right now and he is about to start traditional school and I warn him of the negative effects of certain behaviors-----he won't learn it until he "experiences it" IRL outside of my home.


Sometimes realizing---as my grandmother would say "FAT MEAT IS GREASY" is the only way. LOL

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