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God, please change my heart.

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:04 PM
  • 44 Replies

Have you ever prayed for God to change your heart against something? If so what was it?

How long did it take for you to feel differently about it?

I'm struggling with a friend who keeps going back to a loser and it makes me look at her like she's an idiot and she has low self esteem. I do not hang around women who are not confident and allow themselves to be abused----but this is a dear friend and I know she needs me.

I look at her as pathetic and I don't want to do that because I know that God doesn't want us to feel that kind of contempt in our hearts. It's like my one pet peeve is a wimpy whiny woman who allows herself to be abused until she has NO self esteem.

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/304209_10150825901365230_520415229_21054590_61191322_n.jpg

Some people recognize the light but they can't handle the glare.

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TrulyMicka
by Gold Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:22 PM
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yes..but it was to remove the ill feelings that i had for my kids daddy...i really hated him to the point i was praying & going to church regular bc i knew it was wrong to feel that way..i can t tell you how long it took but it felt like forever..it just went away one day & i havent even realized how past this i was until i read this!! just keep praying & whenever u feel those negative feeling then try changing it to a positive thgt about her...or something else...good luck honey...its good that you recognize it & want to do something about it bc its soo easy to stay negative & dwell on it but you are doing the right thing

Pooobaihr
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:25 PM
4 moms liked this

No I haven't.

I have friends I feel the same way about.  I just look at it as, its their life and they'll eventually see what's going on and fix it. May take a while, but it will happen.

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AtHisfeet411
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:50 PM
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God has had to change my heart many times. The one that sticks out the most was just 3 yrs ago while picking up my dsughter from my alcoholic ex husbands home where he and 9 others dragged me from my car beating and kicking me to near death just for fun. God had to take the hate from me because I couldn't will it away. It no longer consumes my thoughts. But it's an active process too. Some days my flesh wants to recall the injustice and decieve me into thinking I'm a fool to just let it go. My pride tells me that I didn't deserve that and then fear says if I don't hold onto it, I am setting myself up to be hurt again. So I have to actively seek God on this. But it gets easier each time as my relationship to my Father gets more personal. Not knowing you I could only guess that you or someone close to you suffered abuse and the feelings you have towards "weak women" has been born out of fear and that fear gave way to pride. I would imagine that your friend would only be damaged more if you were to abandon her in her weakness. Tell yourself every day "I have the mind of Christ" (even if you don't believe it). God made you a strong woman with great purpose. I will pray too that God will soften your heart and help you see your friend through His eyes. Your voice of encouragement may be the only thing keeping your girlfriend's hope alive. Don't give up on her. Sounds like she needs you and you may need her more than you realize. A little phrase I tell myself when someone close to me says or does things that drive me nuts is this "This person is an angel sent by God, disguised as an idiot to teach me something about myself". Hopefully when your friend sees that you're coming from a place of love rather than pride, her heart too will begin to change and she can gain strength seeing Christ in you
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.Peaches.
by Le Chatte Noire on Feb. 22, 2013 at 3:41 PM
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If its something that I've learned, its be careful what you ask for.

For example, a lot of people will pray for patience. Bad idea. Because God will start to place things, situations, and people in your life to test how much you want the virtue of patience. It took me a few years to figure that out.

Asking God to change your heart won't work if you're not living a Godly lifestyle- you're either in or you're out, there's no in between.


In saying that, if she's truly your friend and dedicated to helping her, the first thing you need to do is change the way you look at her. She's not pathetic, she suffers from low self-esteem. If you've never been there, you really have no idea what that feels like, but its a very low and dark place, made darker and lower by the amount of people who look down on you and talk about you. The way you talk about her doesn't make me think that you want to continue this friendship. So if you really feel that way, then let it go, and let her make room in her life for someone who's going to truly be there for her and help her through her struggles.

Some of us come through confidence and higher self-esteem through bad relationships and life. Not everyone starts out that way....its great if you do, but it doesn't make you pitiful if you haven't.

LNLMommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 3:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Really, I felt a little better right after praying for Him to change my heart. I have that same pet peeve about weakness but that friend probably needs a friend like you that will make her accountable for her actions and face the truth

moosesmom
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:00 PM
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This. My sons father anyway. I would hope that everytime his mom called me it was to say he was dead :-/ I know right? The hate was stressing me out. I prayed for forgiveness and for God to remove the hate from my heart. I also prayed for him. And I still include him in my prayers every night. It took a while but through Gods grace I learned to let it go. And it also helped that God placed a man (my ex husband) in our lives to care for my son like his own :-) Like mika said when you feel those thoughts entering your mind PRAY and PRAY cause the enemy is up to his old tricks.

Quoting TrulyMicka:

yes..but it was to remove the ill feelings that i had for my kids daddy...i really hated him to the point i was praying & going to church regular bc i knew it was wrong to feel that way..i can t tell you how long it took but it felt like forever..it just went away one day & i havent even realized how past this i was until i read this!! just keep praying & whenever u feel those negative feeling then try changing it to a positive thgt about her...or something else...good luck honey...its good that you recognize it & want to do something about it bc its soo easy to stay negative & dwell on it but you are doing the right thing

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hopealways4019
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:56 PM
2 moms liked this
I was your friend for 10 yrs. I don't think Low self esteem was the reason I stayed? I did believed I loved him, and that one day he would change. I was afraid to let him go, for another woman to have him. What I failed to realize that one woman garbage, ain't another woman treasure. I also finally realized that I was better off alone, than with someone who used me as a punching bag. I was thankful my family or friends didn't abandoned me, while I went through this. I know they weren't pleased. But they were patience . Now looking back, I'm happy I went through this, because it made me a stronger woman. I promise myself I will never let another man abuse me.
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Dana267
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:28 PM
1 mom liked this
All I want to do is beat his ass or pay some thugs to. I have argued with him and then she goes right back to him. She calls me when he breaks her heart and I want to hurt him----they have children together.

I don't operate the same way as she does. I would rather be alone than to have someone mistreat me.
Dana267
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:34 PM
I have been there for her- for years. I'm tired of this and have just said that she isn't going to change so I'm asking God to change my heart. I want more for her. Good job trying to make me feel worse----way to kick a person who is trying to do better. Good work.



Quoting .Peaches.:

If its something that I've learned, its be careful what you ask for.

For example, a lot of people will pray for patience. Bad idea. Because God will start to place things, situations, and people in your life to test how much you want the virtue of patience. It took me a few years to figure that out.

Asking God to change your heart won't work if you're not living a Godly lifestyle- you're either in or you're out, there's no in between.

In saying that, if she's truly your friend and dedicated to helping her, the first thing you need to do is change the way you look at her. She's not pathetic, she suffers from low self-esteem. If you've never been there, you really have no idea what that feels like, but its a very low and dark place, made darker and lower by the amount of people who look down on you and talk about you. The way you talk about her doesn't make me think that you want to continue this friendship. So if you really feel that way, then let it go, and let her make room in her life for someone who's going to truly be there for her and help her through her struggles.

Some of us come through confidence and higher self-esteem through bad relationships and life. Not everyone starts out that way....its great if you do, but it doesn't make you pitiful if you haven't.


http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/304209_10150825901365230_520415229_21054590_61191322_n.jpg

Some people recognize the light but they can't handle the glare.

Shaybay218
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:37 PM
1 mom liked this

*HUGS* 

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