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I am seriously SICK and TIRED of feeling this way.....plz help ladies! +update

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:17 AM
  • 23 Replies
Hi ladies. I really need advice as far as what to do. I feel like Im crying out/ begging my husband for affection.


Please allow me to some detail of this situation.


My hubby and I have been married for 3 years. We both work outside the home but he is bread winner. I chose to cut the work hours to b a more attentive mother at home. Hes really sweet and respectful to me. He would give his last to anyone of you ladies! But my problem with him is I feel like im at his feet begging for affection. We have a routine of a 10:30 bedtime for us and 9:00 for the kids. If he not wasting our potential alone time on his video games, hes coming to bed sleepy. Every night its either one of the two and am SICK OF IT. he knows how I feel he just keeps saying sorry. I just wish he would use our little time at the end of the day to either wannna have sex or either show a little AFFECTION and ATTENTION to me. I as a women feel stupid if im asking for sex. I feel like our roles have reversed. Im the one hoping it will happen everynight. When he wants sex im normally up for it which makes it seems he gets it when he wants. I dont. I get it depending on him. Lol I seriously hate that cus im a confident girl. This is making me very bitter and I really feel like doing him the way he does me in order to gain some sort of dignity back lol. Im starting to ignore him a lot. Maybe its wrong but I need advice on how to handle this. Can anyone RELATE?? WHAT SHOULD I DO? in your opinion AM I WRONG IN ANYWAY?





*******UPDATE**********

ok so really quick I want to let u ladies know how things went lastnight. First THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ADVICE ♥♥♥. so yesterday I planned on seriously pouring my feelings out to him but before I could even do that he came to me out of nowhere with chocolates and a poem he wrote me basically saying he been letting work stress get to him and basically saying sorry and letting me know what I mean to him and stuff. After that of course he wanted to have wild gorilla ape sex BUT I still really felt the need to express how much his negligence broke my heart. I wanted him to understand that sex wont completely fix things....I need his mind to b RIGHT so next time work gets to him, he wont do me this way again since this has been a repeating issue. We talked all night no sex just seriously talking....do you see where im coming from as to why I did that? I feel it was best:) now tonight is a different story ♥♥
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by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Momoffourgirlz
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 you are not wrong for wanting back what you give to him. its only fair. bitterness only makes the situation worse though and i am sure you know that. i cannot say that i can relate but i have many friends in the same situation and my heart goes out to you. my advice would be have a serious talk with him about your feelings and listen while he shares his concerns. i'm sure its something you both can work out. hope things get better for you my sista (hugs). 

MomRocs1102
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:45 AM
1 mom liked this

Ive been there your gonna have to really pour your heart out to him letting him know how you feel.  Yes after a while sorry does get old.  I still feel like this at times he falls asleep all the time we can be visiting family and he will fall asleep granted we just had a baby, but before that and i manage to keep my eyes open but he does not so i understand completely from the sleepiness, to the sex i understand you.  He is better, but i have my moments when i just say fuck it and i stay to myself.   I don't think your wrong i think he needs to see how he is making you feel as a woman and as his wife.

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Chicagochic_
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:13 AM
Thanks so much. I really do wonder whats going on inside his head.....if something is bothering him. Smh this is an ongoing argument between us.


Quoting Momoffourgirlz:

 you are not wrong for wanting back what you give to him. its only fair. bitterness only makes the situation worse though and i am sure you know that. i cannot say that i can relate but i have many friends in the same situation and my heart goes out to you. my advice would be have a serious talk with him about your feelings and listen while he shares his concerns. i'm sure its something you both can work out. hope things get better for you my sista (hugs). 


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Chicagochic_
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:18 AM
Yeess thats exactly what I feel like doing! Just pouring my heart out because he has no idea how this makes me feel as a woman! I need my man to want and desire me in everyway. Im not feeling that fire from him...


Quoting MomRocs1102:

Ive been there your gonna have to really pour your heart out to him letting him know how you feel.  Yes after a while sorry does get old.  I still feel like this at times he falls asleep all the time we can be visiting family and he will fall asleep granted we just had a baby, but before that and i manage to keep my eyes open but he does not so i understand completely from the sleepiness, to the sex i understand you.  He is better, but i have my moments when i just say fuck it and i stay to myself.   I don't think your wrong i think he needs to see how he is making you feel as a woman and as his wife.


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MrsJ_08
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this
I was just there. Pour it out. Don't sugar coat it. Tell him how yoh feel and don't let him tell you you're wrong for feeling that way.
I did that and left right after cause I already had plans with a friend to see a movie. Came back and he had kids as sleeping and wanted to show me lots of affection in the bedroom. We're doing a 30 day challenge. Try and have sex at least once every night. Now he looks forward to it.
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poppyseed77
by Pure Awesomeness on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:17 AM

Has he always been this way?  or did it just start?  Does he have new stresses at work etc that could be affecting his libido?  Or could it be medical?  Medication related?

Stacey1081975
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry yo have to deal with this and wish you the best...I had this problem once before and I fixed it by talking to him and making sure he talks back... It worked out wonderful.

LNLMommy
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

My husband and I went through this before. I felt exactly like you did, feeling ridiculous for having to ask for affection and attention. It really took for me to just tell him what was on my mind and then stepping back and allowing him time to either see things from my point of view and make a change or see where the marriage was going to go. It turned out that he was unhappy about some things as well, and that was the main reason he was distant. I say just talk to your husband. Let him know how you feel and then give him a chance to respond. Then you have to give him time to make the attempt.

Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to sit down and do an e-mail or a letter and tell him how you feel!
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TrulyMicka
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Have u tried seducing him...maybe put in something sexy at 9 when the Mississippi go to bed...doesn't have to be lingerie....some boy shorts & tee shirt...maybe his boxers & beater...walk up & straddle him while he's playing...went through this with ex....didn't end well...hope it gets better bc all women want to feel desired...when if u do have high self esteem
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