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Strawberry Letter 3/8/13

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:29 AM
  • 8 Replies

 I have a daughter that is 17. Her father has never been a part of her life. He has paid monthly child support. I have reached out to him in letter form and has never received a response. He is married and we conceived her while he was married. He was upset that I kept her, his wife gave him a choice of her and his son or being in my child's life - he choose her. It has been a struggle. I have never been to court to increase the amount he has paid and I respected his choice. My daughter found her brother on Facebook and she advised me the other day she has not spoken to him in a while. My daughter has mentioned to me that she wants to meet her dad and would like for him to come to her graduation. I do not want her to be disappointed or hurt, I am scared to make that call. I know she is missing that part of her life, even though my family has been a wonderful support, but I do not want her to have issues from the possible rejection of her dad (side note - I will go ham if he hurts her - trying to stay out of jail). I have never talked bad about him and when she asks about him I always say she was conceived in love and when he is ready he will contact you. I do not know what to do.

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:29 AM
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Replies (1-8):
mrsary
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:39 AM
Ouch. I have no advice for that one. Not pointing fingers at the mistress either which I know its people's first reactions. Feel bad for her & her daughter though.
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Momoffourgirlz
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:42 AM

I think its just like you said, when he is ready he will contact her. 

0Kit0
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:30 PM
6 moms liked this
Shes old enough to make a decision. Come what may. His wife ain't shit. What he did was wrong but to deny this man's child is to deny part of him. He ain't shit because he cheated but worse because he let this woman who is supposed to love him for better or for worse dictate that he not see his own child.

We have to grow up and get past mistakes and do what is best for children. Once the children are involved there is absolutely no reason for any adult to behave as though their feelings matter.
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Bunsmommy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 7:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I LOVE THIS! 

Quoting 0Kit0:

Shes old enough to make a decision. Come what may. His wife ain't shit. What he did was wrong but to deny this man's child is to deny part of him. He ain't shit because he cheated but worse because he let this woman who is supposed to love him for better or for worse dictate that he not see his own child.

We have to grow up and get past mistakes and do what is best for children. Once the children are involved there is absolutely no reason for any adult to behave as though their feelings matter.


Britt_Bratt
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Wow. I feel terrible your daughter. If I were you, I would make that phone call just to let him know. Let the chips fall where they may. If he decides to man up and attend, great for your daughter. If he doesn't, then at least you can have the satisfaction in knowing that you tried. As your daughter gets older, I'm sure she will understand and appreciate you for everything that you've done for her. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. 

grownsexy
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:16 PM

 I would give my daughter the number and let her call. She can see for herself that her dad is an ass. He may apologize and actually be ready to accept his daughter. I would let the child talk to the man and his wife and deal with the issue. I would support her. If the mother calls it becomes he say she say if she gives the daughter the number and let her call then she will get the real tea. I would not protect that ass because it always backfires.

The daughter should call an extend the invitation. The daughter can then draw her own conclusions without the help of her mother. The dad hasn't done s---t for her and she wants to meet him. So I say let her call. Her dad don't sound like a prize and his wife wasn't one either. His wife is a double ass because she has a child and then asked him to deny his child she sounds like a peice of work. Personally if I was that girl I would want no part of this dysfunction.


Quoting 0Kit0:

Shes old enough to make a decision. Come what may. His wife ain't shit. What he did was wrong but to deny this man's child is to deny part of him. He ain't shit because he cheated but worse because he let this woman who is supposed to love him for better or for worse dictate that he not see his own child.

We have to grow up and get past mistakes and do what is best for children. Once the children are involved there is absolutely no reason for any adult to behave as though their feelings matter.


 

Mommabearbergh
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:22 PM
I know someone who did that only to be denied.in her teens and then she turned out better then his other kids and he saw some interest in her and she denied him. If I was her mother I would try to talk her out of talking to him
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0Kit0
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:50 PM
It's hard not knowing. It's only natural to want to know.

Quoting grownsexy:

 I would give my daughter the number and let her call. She can see for herself that her dad is an ass. He may apologize and actually be ready to accept his daughter. I would let the child talk to the man and his wife and deal with the issue. I would support her. If the mother calls it becomes he say she say if she gives the daughter the number and let her call then she will get the real tea. I would not protect that ass because it always backfires.



The daughter should call an extend the invitation. The daughter can then draw her own conclusions without the help of her mother. The dad hasn't done s---t for her and she wants to meet him. So I say let her call. Her dad don't sound like a prize and his wife wasn't one either. His wife is a double ass because she has a child and then asked him to deny his child she sounds like a peice of work. Personally if I was that girl I would want no part of this dysfunction.






Quoting 0Kit0:

Shes old enough to make a decision. Come what may. His wife ain't shit. What he did was wrong but to deny this man's child is to deny part of him. He ain't shit because he cheated but worse because he let this woman who is supposed to love him for better or for worse dictate that he not see his own child.

We have to grow up and get past mistakes and do what is best for children. Once the children are involved there is absolutely no reason for any adult to behave as though their feelings matter.





 

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