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I have a question, it's based off a post I saw in another group.

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This is the condensed version:

This woman posted stating that her husband had been friends with a couple prior to them getting married.  Once she hooked up with her husband they all became good friends and that couple stood in for them at their wedding.  For years they've hung out as married couples.  They went out for dinner a few nights ago and the wife of the other couple disclosed that for years she, her husband and the poster's husband had 3somes for years.  The wife didn't know, became very upset and told her husband that she wanted to leave.  (now the woman told them while they were in the bathroom).  So, her husband is pissed with her because he feels like it's no big deal since the 3somes stopped once they began dating (even the other woman told her that).  He basically said to her that he didn't tell her about it because he know how she would react. 

A lot of women are telling her she's wrong that what ever happened in his sexual past is just that.  However, IMO that information should have been disclosed because he chose to have this couple still in his and his wife's life.  IMO it's just like your husband having an ex booty call that he introduces you to and tells you that she's like family but omits that they'd knocked boots for years until you met. 

So, my question is what do you guys think?  Do you think the wife over reacted by leaving and getting upset with her husband?

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:22 PM
Replies (11-20):
Dana267
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:07 PM

I think he should have disclosed that because they were building relationships as married couples. I would be crushed if I found that out.

krisdev67
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 Exactly, I feel the same way.  IMO his relationship with that couple was more important than is relationship with his wife.  If he knew she would react that way then he knew he was wrong to with hold it.  I personally think that he woman told her to see if she would be interested in it.

Quoting Dana267:

I think he should have disclosed that because they were building relationships as married couples. I would be crushed if I found that out.

 

waitin4u
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Heck naw she wasn't wrong if they all became friends even before the marriage then he should of said something instead of her hearing it from some one else. He didn't tell her on purpose and if the friend hadn't then he never would have. Then again how would you bring that up casually "hey, honey we all used to get it on with each other back in the day, are you cool with that? "

kitcal78
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 3:58 PM
1 mom liked this

This whole situation is why "trust" and "honesty" are sensitive in relationships.  Now in his and there mind it's a past situation.  Something they put behind them and are able to move on.  They figure it's cool to be friends because they know how to seperate (yeah right) sex and relationships.  The couple and the husband are wrong for wanting to still hang out to act like nothing happened. 

No one thought about how the wife in this situation.  Seriously how would you feel sitting in a restaurant eating dinner with the a couple your husband used to bang.  They having sex all willy nilly in the past.  All three of them are smiling up in your face like hey..............................man it's totally cool.  We stopped as soon as I started a relationship with you babe. 

Say what?  The wife has all the right be feel betrayed.  She should keep her man.  Let him know because the of whole situation it's not cool to keep a friendship with them.  It makes her uncomfortable.  The husband needs to be able to understand that.

kandipie22
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:47 PM
Nope. Point, blank, period.
Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:05 PM

With all that said I am still trying to process this! But I am not saying who's right and who's wrong!

But its not like they did it  back then and said hey in 4years when you get your wife,we are gonna smile in her face&have dinner together knowing that we slept together! How could they? Why the wife told now? IDK? And it wasn't her place to say anything! She was absolutely wrong on that!

Quoting kitcal78:

This whole situation is why "trust" and "honesty" are sensitive in relationships.  Now in his and there mind it's a past situation.  Something they put behind them and are able to move on.  They figure it's cool to be friends because they know how to seperate (yeah right) sex and relationships.  The couple and the husband are wrong for wanting to still hang out to act like nothing happened. 

No one thought about how the wife in this situation.  Seriously how would you feel sitting in a restaurant eating dinner with the a couple your husband used to bang.  They having sex all willy nilly in the past.  All three of them are smiling up in your face like hey..............................man it's totally cool.  We stopped as soon as I started a relationship with you babe. 

Say what?  The wife has all the right be feel betrayed.  She should keep her man.  Let him know because the of whole situation it's not cool to keep a friendship with them.  It makes her uncomfortable.  The husband needs to be able to understand that.


Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:06 PM
4 moms liked this

Thats a weird situation to be in! I have no comment as of yet? Accept did her man sleep with the guy too? That would be my main concern! kwim?

Quoting kandipie22:

Nope. Point, blank, period.


kandipie22
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:17 PM
Quoting Hottmomma607:


He should have told her he was into the threesome thang for one, for all she know he still doing it or may want her to try it we dont know!!! Then, that is the kind of thing you should tell your husband or wife before you marry. And who is to say they aren't still doing it, she is supposed to take another woman's word for it!? Hell they didn't tell before they got married how do you trust that!!??
hopealways4019
by Silver Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:53 AM
i wouldn't have left him. I would look at them differently like ew. They a bunch of freaks. Oh and under the condition my now hubby didnt have sexual contact with the man.
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Bunsmommy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 7:16 AM
I agree with this, that woman deserved to have the chance to make the choice if she wanted to be in that couple's company.
I'm also curious as to why the other woman chose to disclose this information at this time. Was she supposed to be trying to gauge her reaction in order to lure her into their play dates? Or is she missing the woman's husband and wanting him again?


Quoting moosesmom:

I saw that post. I think he was wrong for not telling her. He should have told her and let her make a choice of whether she wanted to befriend this couple or not. It's not necessarily the sex part that got me but the fact that he placed her in an uncomfortable situation. When you lie, you take away someone's choice and that's what he did.
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