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African American Mommies African American Mommies

Dealing with Resentment and Single Motherhood

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For those that are single mothers as a result of circumstance ( mainly the dumb ass bd) and not by choice, how long did it take you to get over the disappointment, resentment, anger and sadness of the situation and what did it take?


Just a little background...I broke up with my baby's father after he left me in the hospital by myself after a difficult labour. He cheated on me the whole time i was pregnant, i do not miss that relationship and will never go back to him. I love my son so much but it can be overwhelming at times to think about the road i have a head of me, i was not planning to do this alone. I held on to his father even though all my female intuition told me better because i wanted to give him the chance of having a family. I have so much resentment, anger, and sadness and know its not healthy to feel this way. I just want to know for any others that have similar situations, how did you you come to terms with everything?

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:41 PM
Replies (11-16):
Pink.Sunshine.
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Not there yet, but there's a great Single Mom's group on here that are very supportive as well as this group.

spidermansmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Therapy. I ended up in therapy to get through it. We were engaged and when he found out we were pregnant he said it was too much. Time heals all wounds. I was alone for almost 2 yrs when I met my now husband. I am now a true believer that good things come to those who wait. I was in a deep depression and felt so down because I wasn't supposed to be a single mom, not me. I did everything right or so I thought.
It happens mama. Just be as strong as you can be and love your child unconditionally.,and this too shall pass...
mabel009
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:01 AM

 I had cut alot of people out of my life so i dont have a lot of friends but my family has been vey supportive which has been an absolute blessing becuase i dont know what i would have done without them.  


Quoting mspecan_tan:

 Do you have any friends or family near you? Count your blessings and look at the beauty ahead of you, stop worrying or focusing on the past and let it go. Become more active, get involved with your child.


 

mabel009
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you all for the encourgament :)... its what i needed to hear to pick me up to th next day. i know im not gonna be alright today, tommorow or anytime soon but i'm gonna work hard and take the steps to get there. If you ladies can do it, i know i can as well

poppyseed77
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:28 AM

Maybel!  My Sierra Leonean sister!  You know what there are so many things that I could be resentful for and sometimes I am but what always pulls me back is my faith in God and knowing that HE has chosen the best path for me, wheather or not I can see it now.

Most recently I was feeling sorry for myself because I was thinking aabout my situation.  Poppy's dad has said I should just consider him a sperm donor...he's not interested and he's not going to get involved.  Which I am a grown woman...financially I am good (thank God) but there are so manyquestions I have..   Whose last name etcs.  Questions I would have asked my mom who passed 3 years ago.  So I got mad.  Like okay...if it is my path/portion to be a single mom.  Why couldn't I at least have my mommy.  And if I am not to have a mom...then why can't I have a significant other for support?  I was thinking...why does my situation always have to be extra?

Then my cousin was like well what aboput YOUR mom, her mother (my grandmother) died when she was 13!  Thats when I put it in perspective.  I will be alright.  Last year I prayed for a child and husband (I am 36 and was getting nervous).  God gave me a child.  Yeah it would have been nice if the dad had been my ex, who I know would be there) not some dude I just met (seriously who gets knocked up on a 2 night stand AND we used a condom?)  but this is what God has decided is best so I'm going to role with it.  I know the second half of my prayer has been answered and so I wait...patiently.

In life in all my trials the reason I do not sink or wallow in depresssion and resentment is because I know it will do no good.  I take what life has disshed out and I keep rolling with the punches and strive to do my best to succeeed.  You will be fine..  You take care of your prince.  It is  well.  ((((HUGS)))))

CafeMom Tickers
MomRocs1102
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:14 AM

I never did, just hope and pray we never come in contact with one another ever again.

Join Adorable Ladies Group, where women can have free uncensored conversations, and discussions minus the bashing and drama. 


www.cafemom.com/group/118542




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