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Do I have the right to be pissed or do I deserve this??

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:31 AM
  • 16 Replies

 

My son's dad decided to move over a 1000 miles away last year. We live in Indiana and he moved to Texas. He hasn't seen his son in a year and I am starting to get very bitter. His initial excuse for moving away was to go to the military. But then decided that he wasn't risking his life for "the white man". Then he says that Texas pays their semi pro football players ( he played semi pro in Indiana but didn't get paid for it). Well I just learned that he hurt his ankle ( not sure if he was even playing football). Then he says his cousin was going to get him into the oil field. Well that hasn't happened either. Know what he's doing? Working at a damn gas station. This pisses me off so bad. Since he left my son's behavior has been so much worse ( he has autism). I think his dad believes he gets a free pass because my son can't talk so he can't verbalize his emotions, he can only act them out. I'm soooo fucking pissed off at him.

Up until now he has been a good dad. I'm sure Ive made some post before about him. He stepped up when my son was 6 months and we tried to work it out but we just aren't good together as a couple. He was still a good dad to his son. I said I would never take him to court for child support because he handles his responsibilities but now I'm really considering it. He didnt send any money at all until 6 months after he moved. For the last few months he's been sending about 150.00 a month but talks about his income while I'm on the phone with him saying his checks are 1200.00. Do yall think I'm being vindictive by going to court?

Do I have the right to be angry about this since we weren't together when he moved?

My son is 6 btw if that matters.

Also a little back story. We broke up and he moved out after he realized I was moving on. I let him stay with me for over a year and he had no job and would not look for one until he saw I was getting fed up. By this time I was moving on. So he finally moved out and apparently he was "struggling" paying his little 400.00 a month in bills. He had a room mate and they split everything 50/50. My brother's wife's sister ( I know drama) had always had a thing for him and her and I NEVER really got along. We tolerated each other but secretly hated each other. He knew this and still decided he would fuck her because he didn't have food and she was giving him groceries... Me and her already had history because she tried to seduce him IN MY HOUSE WHILE I WAS FEEDING HER NEWBORN AND ROCKING HER TO SLEEP. I told him I don't give a damn who he was with as long as it wasn't her. 1 because she admitted to being jealous of me to my face. 2 she clearly wanted what I had so she could feel adquate, she was always comparing us saying how beautiful I was, how mature I am, how I have my life in order..and not to be self centered but she is not an attractive girl..she's your typical trailor park white girl and has a few deformities inclusing a cocked eye ( no offense anyone)..3 she is my niece and nephew's aunt. I have to deal with this bitch because I'm not going to leave my babies lives  because she is around.

Him and his room mate gets kicked out of the house and so he moves in with this girl. He lies to me for months about not fucking her then he finally came clean because he wanted me back and was trying to move in with me. When he told me that I was so pissed off that I was sick. Mostly because she just wanted to get to me and she thought she won. Well she did get to me and I flew off the handle. I shouldn't have but I did and I don't regret it. But I have grown a lot since then, that happened over a year ago right before he moved to Texas.

 

So after all of that, and I know it's a lot. What do you ladies think? I've been trying to be a mature adult about this situation but my feelings are so hurt for my son.

    

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
leaniece
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Regardless of your ex being a great father, your son still needs support.
Regardless of your ex STILL trying to find a career path, your son still needs to eat. It seems like you two are having an on and off again friendship, which can make this decision harder. But at the end of the day, your handsome son comes first. I would give him a deadline, maybe a month, to get his act together. Come to a compromise on what's fair to pay. Explain in details what needs to be paid. If he is not willing to work with you, then a child support order is needed. No ifs ands or buts about it. I hope you get this resolved. You don't need this added stress.
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inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:26 AM

Not vindictive..Get child support.

Amari06
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:26 AM
Once he moved I would have went straight to family court and put in a petition for child support. I don't like trying to rely on someone to send a check I'd rather it be taken out his check. It has nothing to do with being mature it's about making sure he is taking care of his son financially.

Do you both have a set amount you agreed on? Or does he send what he can when he can?
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diaperstodating
by Queen25Princes on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:31 AM
Get child support.
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SiriSilasMom
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:33 PM

If you're struggling the support is needed. Don't feel guilty about taking it. 

mstricey
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:41 PM

No we don't have a set amount. My worst trait is that I am "proud". I never want anyone to feel like I need them. I'm working on this about myself. He has been sending what he can and when he can. I think I'm more pissed off that he has not seen my son in so long. He has never been much of a provider and I was ok with that because I valued their time together more than money.  


Quoting Amari06:

Once he moved I would have went straight to family court and put in a petition for child support. I don't like trying to rely on someone to send a check I'd rather it be taken out his check. It has nothing to do with being mature it's about making sure he is taking care of his son financially.

Do you both have a set amount you agreed on? Or does he send what he can when he can?


 

    

krisdev67
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:41 PM

You need money to support your child.  I would sue for CS, however I would let him know (if you still have that type of relationship) that I was filing and why.  I hope all goes well for you.  Maybe he'll come back home and/or get his shit together and help you support your child.  IDK, maybe you can ask him to give you more money and see what he says at first.  But good luck.

waitin4u
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:42 PM
1 mom liked this

That's not being vindictive that's called being a parent and responsible.You didn't make that child alone so he needs to support his son too. If he acts like he can't come and visits the least he could do is make sure he's taking care of by helping you.

mstricey
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:46 PM

 

 I'm not struggling per say. It has been rough since I started school but we are living ok. Extra money is always a help though. My son goes through clothes and shoes fast. I graduate in a couple of months and I have a job lined up with my degree and god willing I will pass my state boards and my income will triple what he makes. I really do think I'm bitter because he actually left. Like he had no responsibility to be here for his son.

Quoting SiriSilasMom:

If you're struggling the support is needed. Don't feel guilty about taking it. 


 

    

mstricey
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

It is hard and youre right. We used to be best friends even after we broke up. I think I'm going to talk to him and explain why I'm choosing to go for child support. Not only that but my son has lots of needs and if he visits his dad can't make any decisions for him (He isnt on his birth certificate because he was not at the hospital when he was born). We need an actual court order set up for visitations so his therapy can continue if he ever goes to Texas. I know once we get visitation set up they are going to order cs anyway.


Quoting leaniece:

Regardless of your ex being a great father, your son still needs support.
Regardless of your ex STILL trying to find a career path, your son still needs to eat. It seems like you two are having an on and off again friendship, which can make this decision harder. But at the end of the day, your handsome son comes first. I would give him a deadline, maybe a month, to get his act together. Come to a compromise on what's fair to pay. Explain in details what needs to be paid. If he is not willing to work with you, then a child support order is needed. No ifs ands or buts about it. I hope you get this resolved. You don't need this added stress.


 

    

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