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African American Mommies African American Mommies

Baby mamas vs. wives and the fool in the middle

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:33 PM
  • 70 Replies
1 mom liked this

Okay so I am a little bit perturbed by an article I read.

I am not sure what to think about this Cris Bosh situation but this shit really pisses me off.

So Bosh has a baby with his AA girlfriend at the beginning of his career but doesn't love her enough to marry her. He dumps her and MARRIES some non AA chick.

The baby mama wants more money in child support and to maintain the life style she was used to before she was dumped.

Bosh decides he wants FULL custody of their daughter so he doesn't have to pay.


The problems I have with this:

1. People are saying it's the Baby mamas fault for having a baby out of wedlock with him----she has to basically take what she can get. I don't think that's fair.


2. WTF does he want full custody? Why take her away from her mother??? His ass isn't the one who is going to be the child's caregiver!! It's his wife! He travels all the time how is that fair to the child or the child's mother? To me he is taking everything from the child's mother----(he didn't think enough of her to marry her and now you want to ALSO take my child away and let the NEW wife parent her?

3. People are saying that the baby mama needs to work and that his money shouldn't be taking care of her rent and leisurely lifestyle---if she wanted that she should've been a wife and not just a baby mama. I resent this because why shouldn't she have the freedom to give his/their child the best----so she can be available for their daughter and she doesn't have to send their child to others while she maintains a 9-5?


I am married with children BUT this really pisses me off. It doesn't make it any easier a pill to swallow for me that the AA mother was fine enough to impregnante but not enough to marry. Yeah, yeah, yeah----i mentioned race again because it's what I do. LOL

 


 


It is easier to BUILD strong children then to REPAIR broken men. Frederick Douglass.

by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 1:18 PM
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I don't think he owes her(baby mama) anything. It's not his job to keep her in a comfortable lifestyle. I do believe he needs to provide the child with enough to maintain a decent lifestyle. Meaning-private school, security(if needed), nice place to live,.. and so on.   

Kdsangel
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 1:43 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't think he owes the baby mother anything either but her child should live a life that is as comfortable as any child that he would have with his wife. So I'm not saying by her a mansion but the baby shouldn't have to live in poverty.

Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on Jun. 26, 2013 at 1:55 PM
7 moms liked this
He needs to pay child support man up! She can't make him marry her so if he didn't wanna have a baby he should have wrapped it up. Taking the baby from her is wrong! She doesn't need a lifstyle similar to his! She needs enough to provide for her child!
Dana267
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 2:02 PM
1 mom liked this

If the child he has with the new wife is a stay at home mom and can be there for her child 24/7 then the other child's mother should as well in my opinion.

Quoting Kdsangel:

I don't think he owes the baby mother anything either but her child should live a life that is as comfortable as any child that he would have with his wife. So I'm not saying by her a mansion but the baby shouldn't have to live in poverty.


 


 


It is easier to BUILD strong children then to REPAIR broken men. Frederick Douglass.

CoolRelax
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:34 PM
6 moms liked this

I don't think Chris owes it to the ex to provide for her and the child.  But I'm also not a huge sahm mom advocate, if you can do it then do it, but there are plenty of us who didn't have that.  Shoot I'm a married mom and I still wouldn't choose to stay home.  

I thought she was rocking with the baby mama special: cs payment, house paid for (not as nice as his though), best of schooling/security/travel for the kid.  

It's grimy of her to basically say to him, "Come out of pocket until I feel as valued as the woman you married."  Because she's not that highly valued.  Chris wanted to "upgrade" or whatever box-o-rocks athletes do when they get some $$.  With his alien looking self. 

luvthagirl
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:20 PM
4 moms liked this
I agree, that's one of the benefits of being The Wife. Baby Mommy's need to stop thinking they are entitled to the same benefits/perks as The Wife

Quoting CoolRelax:

I don't think Chris owes it to the ex to provide for her and the child.  But I'm also not a huge sahm mom advocate, if you can do it then do it, but there are plenty of us who didn't have that.  Shoot I'm a married mom and I still wouldn't choose to stay home.  


I thought she was rocking with the baby mama special: cs payment, house paid for (not as nice as his though), best of schooling/security/travel for the kid.  


It's grimy of her to basically say to him, "Come out of pocket until I feel as valued as the woman you married."  Because she's not that highly valued.  Chris wanted to "upgrade" or whatever box-o-rocks athletes do when they get some $$.  With his alien looking self. 

Mishandia
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:24 PM

There is more history to the story @ one point they were in nasty battle and the BM was refusing him visitation. It was around the finals time last year. But if he gets full custody that 25,000 a month more in his household. As the old saying goes more money more problems.

akingsmom
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:31 PM
3 moms liked this
Not knowing the story all I'm gonna say is...the only person he owes is his child. That doesnt meanmom get a free ride. And personally i've never understood that concept of I had ur baby now u gotta pay my way. I wouldnt want my daughter looking at me like all u did with ur life was fuck my daddy so u could have the good life without putting any work into getting it...jmo tho
SunFlower700
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 6:11 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't know who the man is so had to Google.  Saw a picture of his wife, IDK she looks black or AA to me.

I've never been a big advocate for being a SAHM because anything can happen in life and I would never want to put myself in an extremely vulnerable position.  I don't think he should get full custody, but if he had been living in a common law relationship with his baby's mama for X amount of years.  Then I feel she should be entitled to spousal support, along with child support for the child they had together.  If he wasn't into her and didn't want to have a baby with her then he should have kept it in his pants.

inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 6:23 PM

Seems like 25K  a mo is enough  to be a sahm. 

Quoting Mishandia:

There is more history to the story @ one point they were in nasty battle and the BM was refusing him visitation. It was around the finals time last year. But if he gets full custody that 25,000 a month more in his household. As the old saying goes more money more problems.


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