Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

baby daddy vent

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:29 AM
  • 8 Replies

So recently my nephews father has decided after 5 years that he wants to have a relationship with him. Of course my sister being crazy with her special self she wants nothing to do with with the man so he's been contacting my mother. Now my mom is already a lil shot out so she sees nothing wrong with setting up visits for my nephew to see his father at her house. Personally I put my 2 cents in the convo and it wasn't even addressed. I asked my sister to stop holding a grudge against the man for not helping in the past and take him for all he's worth now and keep it moving. She seems to think that's the craziest thing ever and decline my words of wisdom. So I left it alone. Now just about an hour ago my sister calls me to tell me that my mother asked the guy to come by the house tomorrow for a cook out and to see my nephew. Now this silly girl is calling to ask me is it a good idea to even go because she doesn't want to see him. I'm like well you didn't want my advice before so you may not like it now. I told her to go and get done up in the am and when she sees him for the first time in 5 years don't let him see your anger and only see that you've been rocking it with out his help or his 10.00 child support checks all this time and keep it moving. Now if that aint some good advice I don't know what else to tell her.    

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:29 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 3:43 AM

Did anybody ask the child how he felt?

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:55 AM
It's hard to forget, but yes she does need to forgive,for her child sake... Same question how does the child feel about seeing the father? But I agree with you to a certain extent...get that money and keep it movin. Good luck to your sister..
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:00 PM
It's not really about how your sister feels about this man. Like you said she needs to set her personal feelings aside and focus on what's important. It sucks that he's been absent for 5 years but the point is RIGHT NOW he's willing to make an effort. Your mom has the right idea. I think your nephew and his dad meeting at her place is a great idea! If she can't control her emotions or doesn't want to see him at the cookout then she should drop her son, let him kick it with dad and have him dropped off later.

How old is your nephew?
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 1:07 PM

Given that my nephew is developmentally delayed so far they haven't diagnosed him as autistic.He hasn't asked about his father and so far the 2 times he's seen him he didn't pay him much attention. So that makes it kinda hard and he just turned 5. I just wish things were easier for her to deal with.

by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:50 PM
She probably have doubts, she dont want him coming into his life only too disappear again. Some men pick and choose when they want to be a father. That's emotionally unsettling for a child. Or these men or females let their current Gf or bf decide should they be a mother or father. No one got time for that bullshit. Sorry my personal vent.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:46 PM
I have a dd whose father wants no part in. She's almost two and if he came out the blue I'd probably tell him to go kick rocks so I understand where she is coming from.

That said his best bet is probably to go through the courts. And to not contact family members. Sounds like a blow up waiting to happen at that BBQ.
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:45 AM
I cant understand her reservation. He wants to all of a sudden see the kid. She's probably afraid he won't be consistent which will be hard on an inquisitive child. I would introduce him slowly as well.
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:32 AM

after 5 years of nothing, just stay away.  You cant just all of a sudden decide to be apart of a child's life or jump in and out.  Some fathers are the best fathers by simply staying away.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)