I know most of you dont care but i just wanted to put an update on my situation and then im logging off because i need time to process.
Yesterday Jay and I went to Duke Fertility again so that he could give them an SA. (semen sample). While we were there we talked to a financial advisor who explained to us that our insurance will pay for 80 % and we pay 20. That leaves us with an out of pocket cost of 2105. Plus 784 just incase we have embryos left over to freeze. This to us was GREAT news and we left very happy and optimistic, because we were told i would not max my 10k cap and would have money left over to try a FET if i needed to. This was IVF without ICSI.
Well today the doctor called us and told DF that there was absolutely no sperm found in his ejaculate.
:( He is extremely sad right now and doesnt even want to be bothered or talked to. He keeps apologizing to me like its his fault. I sent him an extremely long text while he was at work telling him that i didnt care if he did or did not have any sperm (TMI) he still would always be the love of my life, my first love, and my husband and nothing could ever change that. I know there are some ways in which we can still have our own biological children, i know that ICSI now is something we will need which will be an additional cost. His mom told us that she would pay for the IVF/ICSI all together. (She spoils us, we never accept).
The devil is hard at work right now, with alot in my life. I would just post it all but ive learned not to put everything on here. I feel like this is a huge test and its hard to keep my head up during this time but i am remaining positive because i have been through so much more than this. Im logging off Cm though, to take some time to process, i know if i hang out here ill write a shit load of poems and tell all my business. Something im learning to work on. Someone here asked why am i in a rush to do so much im only 21. Its hard to explain. I never had a childhood. I dont know how to have fun. All my life ive dreamt of growing up, getting married, being a teacher, and being a mom. I dont desire to do anything else. I dont want to hang out and have fun. I want to give myself the family that no-one else gave me. So it may seem rushed to some people, but its my life dream to have the big family i couldnt have growing up.
Anyways. Well wishes to you all.