I had a rather frustrating day yesterday.....
I am going to apologize now because this is long and there is some language, but if you read it all the way through I promise you will laugh.
Yesterday a had three very easy goals after class, purchase my son a boy scout neckerchief for the homecoming parade, take my daughter her hair bow she needed for the homecoming parade, make dinner and get everyone to the homecoming parade on time. Seems simple right?
I get out of class at 1:45. My son had to meet up with the rest of the scouts at 5:15. The Boy Scout store is 15 minutes from my school. This should have been easy, however there is a lot of construction going on in the city of Dayton and I am directionally challenged so essentially what happened was I drove around in circles of varying size in the city of Dayton, in the pouring rain for 20 - 30 minutes. I finally make it to 75 north. I am a little irritated but hey I still have plenty of time. I just need exit 59. Well as I pass exit 58 I see there is an accident on 75 south and the traffic is backed up as far as the eye can see. Ummm...crap that is the way home. Ok I will just find another way home after I got to the scout store. Still have plenty of time.
I get to the store, it is 2:40ish. I walk in, I look around, and I don't see what I need so I ask for help. The very nice lady reminds me that Boy Scout troop neckerchiefs are specific to the troop and the scout store. :-/ Now I actually knew that but had forgotten, but still I have plenty of time. I take a deep breath. I have to go to the bathroom and I am hungry. I see a chick-fil-a. Awesome I love chick-fil-a.
So I go in, I go to the bathroom, I get in line. There is one guy getting an order and a guy standing a little ways behind him. I ask the guy behind him if he is in line. He doesn't say anything. The guy at the counter leaves, the other dude moves up like he is going to order but doesn't. So I ask him again, "Are you in line?" he looks at me and says "no" and walks way. Ok weird, but whatever.
The cashier takes my order and comments on how nice it was to see someone smiling, and then I move down to the end of the counter to wait for my order.
While I am waiting a 40ish year old white guy in the gray shirt walks up to me and this conversation takes place.. I only mention he is white because it is important in a bit, but back to the conversation:
Him: excuse, I just wanted to say you have a nice smile. I saw it and said damn that's a nice smile
Me: Oh well, thank you
Him: and at the risk of getting slapped you look good too. I looked at you and said damn. You had a two damn day.
Now the whole time I am slowly backing up and dude is creeping up on me.
Him: Yeah I have been having a rough day. I came here and got some lunch then the bag got wet and broke, then I found a hair in my sandwich, but I told the lady and she is getting me a new order.
Me: oh, well that's good
Him: Yeah I got community service but I just raped them. I went up to the dog park.
Now we are going to pause here because I want y'all to read that sentence and think about me standing in chick-fil-a with this strange white dude I don't know from Adam, who keeps creeping up on me and says this rather nonchalantly to a woman he just met. Got it? Ok
Him: “I was supposed to do 6 hours but I just did 1 ½” (so the “rape” wasn’t the crime he got community service for, he was just saying he cheated them by only doing 1 ½ hours)
The lady brings him his food and says they are working on his shakes. Now why I didn't just leave then I don't know. I was really hungry I guess. He turns back to me and says:
"yeah I gotta go get my dog from Tammy, well I have an ex-wife named Tammy and my girlfriend's name is Tammy, but I gotta go get my dog from my bitch ex-wife Tammy. The second Tammy tried to start a fight with me today and I told her I am trying to have a good day, you got me fucked up. Damn, I salted the hell out of them fries. But I gotta call the cops cause she don't want to give me my dog but I got my papers. My mother had a dog, a chow and this dog is the 7th dog from the 3rd litter and my mother has passed now so I am going to get my damn dog. This bitch tried to get a doctor's note saying it was a therapy dog, she better get her own damn dog I am getting my dog."
Now the whole time I am standing here thinking, what the hell is taking so long with his damn milkshakes, don't these women standing behind this counter see dude all up on me. I know I don't look like I am enjoying this attention. I don't know what it is about me but I swear random white dudes do this kind of mess all the time. I lived in New Mexico for 3 years. Way more Hispanic dudes then white dudes there. I never had a Hispanic dude do this. During that time I had like 3 white dudes roll up on me like this.
Finally the cashier brings him his shakes and he says "Have a good day sweetheart" and leaves.
I get my food , get lost 3 more times going home, when I am about 10 minutes from my house it dawns on me that my son can just borrow a friend's neckerchief.
I get to the high school at 4 pm to give my daughter her hair bow. I pick the baby up from daycare at 4:30 (an hour late). I get home at 4:30 and my son's uniform is still in the washer wet. So I throw the uniform in the dryer, feed him a turkey dog and chips, hustle him and his little sister to the car, drive to his friend's house, get the neckerchief and manage to get him where he needed to be by 5:15.
One of the weirdest days of my life and I never did make dinner.