Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Unwanted Guest!!!

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:15 AM
  • 33 Replies
Hi ladies!!!! My name is Kristen, and I have been apart of this group for some time just now getting around to making a post.

But to jump right in I need advice on how to tell my MIL that she comes to my house to damn much! Okay for starters I have been with my children's father for 7 yrs, up until 8 months ago me and his mom has always gotten along. We just recently moved into a new home and she feels like she needs to come by my house everyday, and I'm not just talking about before she heads home in the evening after she gets off from work but I mean 2-4 times a day, and even more when my BF is off from work. Now I know that she will stop over every now and again, but not every damn day and then when she does come over she tries to tell me what to do in my own damn house. I am a person who likes privacy and I have addressed this with my BF but he feels like he doesn't have to say shit because it's his "mommy"!!! I don't wanna argue with this lady but she is starting to get on my damn nerves and I knw my BF is not going to say anything because he hasn't yet...idk what to do!!!!

P.S. Sorry for the rambling lol
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:15 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
PurplWildFlower
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Tell her flat out - be nice about it but let her know.  That is excessive, and your BF needs to be aware before you tell her - but do it soon. 

inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I would suggest either you both sit down and tell not to come by(united front) or your BF needs to tell her.

**what happened 8mos ago to change the relationship?

Kris.Nicole
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:43 AM
8 months ago my BF son came to live with us due to his mother being incarcerated for ROBBING A BANK....I knw SMDH too!!! She had the little boy for some time before hand due to the fact that the mother asked for the little boy to say with her b/c she doesn't like me ( the issue with me and her started yrs ago when my bf cheated and got her preggo and we stayed together...DRAMA) however the grandma sent him to us anyways after a while due to her "be financially stable enough to have him" which is very understandable...okay so when the little came to out house he didn't have shit...clothes to small...raggedy fucked up shoes...excuse my French but my bf was giving his mother money to take care of his son and at the time she was living in fla. so we didn't see him all the time. Now she has moved up here to Augusta,Ga and she feels like she needs to do her part for her grandson now when she didn't want to before. Like simple stupid shit she will some by my house and just pick him up and go out to eat and spend time with him but my kids are her grands too. She comes by and wash his clothes and clean his bedroom, but doesn't do shit for my kids. To be honest I brush it under the rug b/c I do for my kids anyways and it's not a big deal but to a 5 yr old little girl (my oldest daughter) it is yu know! She is just a pain in ass frfr! To be honest if me and my kids dad wasn't together I wouldn't deal wit her ass!

Quoting inmybizz:

I would suggest either you both sit down and tell not to come by(united front) or your BF needs to tell her.

**what happened 8mos ago to change the relationship?

Kris.Nicole
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:44 AM
And I meant not financially stable

Quoting Kris.Nicole: 8 months ago my BF son came to live with us due to his mother being incarcerated for ROBBING A BANK....I knw SMDH too!!! She had the little boy for some time before hand due to the fact that the mother asked for the little boy to say with her b/c she doesn't like me ( the issue with me and her started yrs ago when my bf cheated and got her preggo and we stayed together...DRAMA) however the grandma sent him to us anyways after a while due to her "be financially stable enough to have him" which is very understandable...okay so when the little came to out house he didn't have shit...clothes to small...raggedy fucked up shoes...excuse my French but my bf was giving his mother money to take care of his son and at the time she was living in fla. so we didn't see him all the time. Now she has moved up here to Augusta,Ga and she feels like she needs to do her part for her grandson now when she didn't want to before. Like simple stupid shit she will some by my house and just pick him up and go out to eat and spend time with him but my kids are her grands too. She comes by and wash his clothes and clean his bedroom, but doesn't do shit for my kids. To be honest I brush it under the rug b/c I do for my kids anyways and it's not a big deal but to a 5 yr old little girl (my oldest daughter) it is yu know! She is just a pain in ass frfr! To be honest if me and my kids dad wasn't together I wouldn't deal wit her ass!



Quoting inmybizz:

I would suggest either you both sit down and tell not to come by(united front) or your BF needs to tell her.

**what happened 8mos ago to change the relationship?

Kris.Nicole
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:48 AM
I have tried and the lady got smart at the mouth wit me....saying some hair about as long as her son lives here she will come over whenever she wants. I told her no she will not and she started with the ghetto shit so I just hung up the phone. I have tried to even say fuck it she here she just here but she just doesn't give a damn about boundaries! And I don't wanna get into with this lady but she is really pushing my buttons....

Quoting PurplWildFlower:

Tell her flat out - be nice about it but let her know.  That is excessive, and your BF needs to be aware before you tell her - but do it soon. 

inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:56 AM

OK... I think for the sake of having a power struggle with your MIL your bf needs to step up and set the boundaries with his mother. What does your SO say about all of this. 

Quoting Kris.Nicole: And I meant not financially stable 


Quoting Kris.Nicole: 8 months ago my BF son came to live with us due to his mother being incarcerated for ROBBING A BANK....I knw SMDH too!!! She had the little boy for some time before hand due to the fact that the mother asked for the little boy to say with her b/c she doesn't like me ( the issue with me and her started yrs ago when my bf cheated and got her preggo and we stayed together...DRAMA) however the grandma sent him to us anyways after a while due to her "be financially stable enough to have him" which is very understandable...okay so when the little came to out house he didn't have shit...clothes to small...raggedy fucked up shoes...excuse my French but my bf was giving his mother money to take care of his son and at the time she was living in fla. so we didn't see him all the time. Now she has moved up here to Augusta,Ga and she feels like she needs to do her part for her grandson now when she didn't want to before. Like simple stupid shit she will some by my house and just pick him up and go out to eat and spend time with him but my kids are her grands too. She comes by and wash his clothes and clean his bedroom, but doesn't do shit for my kids. To be honest I brush it under the rug b/c I do for my kids anyways and it's not a big deal but to a 5 yr old little girl (my oldest daughter) it is yu know! She is just a pain in ass frfr! To be honest if me and my kids dad wasn't together I wouldn't deal wit her ass!



Quoting inmybizz:

I would suggest either you both sit down and tell not to come by(united front) or your BF needs to tell her.

**what happened 8mos ago to change the relationship?


PurplWildFlower
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:56 AM

Ok, well now it's up to him - that is his mother and he needs to set some real boundaries.  If you two are running a household she should not have that much control - that is ridiculous and make sure he understands how much it bothers you. Is the house in your name? Or both? (not trying to get all in your business but this could play a part in her head)

Quoting Kris.Nicole: I have tried and the lady got smart at the mouth wit me....saying some hair about as long as her son lives here she will come over whenever she wants. I told her no she will not and she started with the ghetto shit so I just hung up the phone. I have tried to even say fuck it she here she just here but she just doesn't give a damn about boundaries! And I don't wanna get into with this lady but she is really pushing my buttons....

Quoting PurplWildFlower:

Tell her flat out - be nice about it but let her know.  That is excessive, and your BF needs to be aware before you tell her - but do it soon. 

 

Kris.Nicole
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:59 AM
It's in both of our name...we are buying out first home together. To be honest I think he is afraid to set boundaries with his mama, and I knw if I say something she will take offense because of the lasts time we spoke about this and then the shit is going to hit the fan

Quoting PurplWildFlower:

Ok, well now it's up to him - that is his mother and he needs to set some real boundaries.  If you two are running a household she should not have that much control - that is ridiculous and make sure he understands how much it bothers you. Is the house in your name? Or both? (not trying to get all in your business but this could play a part in her head)


Quoting Kris.Nicole: I have tried and the lady got smart at the mouth wit me....saying some hair about as long as her son lives here she will come over whenever she wants. I told her no she will not and she started with the ghetto shit so I just hung up the phone. I have tried to even say fuck it she here she just here but she just doesn't give a damn about boundaries! And I don't wanna get into with this lady but she is really pushing my buttons....


Quoting PurplWildFlower:

Tell her flat out - be nice about it but let her know.  That is excessive, and your BF needs to be aware before you tell her - but do it soon. 


 

Kris.Nicole
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 10:02 AM
In his words...babe don't trip it ain't that deep....when in reality it is. He lets his mom get away with a lot of mess. Like I told him my mom doesn't try that mess because she already knws that I like my privacy. I don't do house guest...at all! Every now and again...birthdays...family in from out of town but rather than that NO! I will come to your house or meet you somewhere.

Quoting inmybizz:

OK... I think for the sake of having a power struggle with your MIL your bf needs to step up and set the boundaries with his mother. What does your SO say about all of this. 

Quoting Kris.Nicole: And I meant not financially stable 




Quoting Kris.Nicole: 8 months ago my BF son came to live with us due to his mother being incarcerated for ROBBING A BANK....I knw SMDH too!!! She had the little boy for some time before hand due to the fact that the mother asked for the little boy to say with her b/c she doesn't like me ( the issue with me and her started yrs ago when my bf cheated and got her preggo and we stayed together...DRAMA) however the grandma sent him to us anyways after a while due to her "be financially stable enough to have him" which is very understandable...okay so when the little came to out house he didn't have shit...clothes to small...raggedy fucked up shoes...excuse my French but my bf was giving his mother money to take care of his son and at the time she was living in fla. so we didn't see him all the time. Now she has moved up here to Augusta,Ga and she feels like she needs to do her part for her grandson now when she didn't want to before. Like simple stupid shit she will some by my house and just pick him up and go out to eat and spend time with him but my kids are her grands too. She comes by and wash his clothes and clean his bedroom, but doesn't do shit for my kids. To be honest I brush it under the rug b/c I do for my kids anyways and it's not a big deal but to a 5 yr old little girl (my oldest daughter) it is yu know! She is just a pain in ass frfr! To be honest if me and my kids dad wasn't together I wouldn't deal wit her ass!





Quoting inmybizz:

I would suggest either you both sit down and tell not to come by(united front) or your BF needs to tell her.

**what happened 8mos ago to change the relationship?


inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 10:21 AM

As long as he continue to have attitude you might as well get used to having her around. If he doesn't stand up for you and set the rules/boundaries , she will continue doing what she's doing. I believe if a grown man can't set boundaries with his mother you will always have a problem with her.

Quoting Kris.Nicole: In his words...babe don't trip it ain't that deep....when in reality it is. He lets his mom get away with a lot of mess. Like I told him my mom doesn't try that mess because she already knws that I like my privacy. I don't do house guest...at all! Every now and again...birthdays...family in from out of town but rather than that NO! I will come to your house or meet you somewhere.

Quoting inmybizz:

OK... I think for the sake of having a power struggle with your MIL your bf needs to step up and set the boundaries with his mother. What does your SO say about all of this. 

Quoting Kris.Nicole: And I meant not financially stable 




Quoting Kris.Nicole: 8 months ago my BF son came to live with us due to his mother being incarcerated for ROBBING A BANK....I knw SMDH too!!! She had the little boy for some time before hand due to the fact that the mother asked for the little boy to say with her b/c she doesn't like me ( the issue with me and her started yrs ago when my bf cheated and got her preggo and we stayed together...DRAMA) however the grandma sent him to us anyways after a while due to her "be financially stable enough to have him" which is very understandable...okay so when the little came to out house he didn't have shit...clothes to small...raggedy fucked up shoes...excuse my French but my bf was giving his mother money to take care of his son and at the time she was living in fla. so we didn't see him all the time. Now she has moved up here to Augusta,Ga and she feels like she needs to do her part for her grandson now when she didn't want to before. Like simple stupid shit she will some by my house and just pick him up and go out to eat and spend time with him but my kids are her grands too. She comes by and wash his clothes and clean his bedroom, but doesn't do shit for my kids. To be honest I brush it under the rug b/c I do for my kids anyways and it's not a big deal but to a 5 yr old little girl (my oldest daughter) it is yu know! She is just a pain in ass frfr! To be honest if me and my kids dad wasn't together I wouldn't deal wit her ass!





Quoting inmybizz:

I would suggest either you both sit down and tell not to come by(united front) or your BF needs to tell her.

**what happened 8mos ago to change the relationship?



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)