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I must really be on edge...advice

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 8:01 PM
  • 16 Replies
I havent posted on here in a long time when it pertains to the drama that is my ratchet ass family. Idk if i need advice. I think i need just an outlet to vent to and hear different opinions.

Anyways its the summer time and Smooch mom is begging for her. I have not sent her to stay with my mom since OCT. There was an incident where the police were involved, my child went missing and had to be retrieved and my moms excuse was "i needed a break i wasnt in my right mind". She has been back to visit but not while i wasnt in the city.

In Jan she signed over her parental rights and now we are still in the middle of adoption paperwork, homestudy, etc, needless to say she doesnt have any rights though.

She wants Smooch to call her mom. She wants the mom name without mom responsibilities. I have invited her to my house many times with offers of free round trip transportation. Shes made a million excuses why she cant visit.

The sister i had custody of last year is buck wild at 10yrs old and violent towards Smooch, my mom is afraid of her so rarely corrects the behaviors. So while Smooch says she misses her very much once she gets there shes being physically assaulted by someone twice her size!

My mom lives in a 1 bedroom...Taniha sleeps on the sofa. I told my mom i did not want Smooch sleeping in the bed with she and her boyfriend and if Smooch came i was sending her with a cot, by the way the convo went im sure she will be reluctant to use it!

She hasnt contributed a dime at all towards smooch. No christmas..no anything! Na-da-damn thing!

im tired of having to go out of my way and out of my finances for her to see Smooch when she refuses to make herself available for ANYTHING!

My hubby said smooch came to him a few times saying she misses her mom and wants to visit so bad etc and he feels evil saying no.

I dont feel evil..frankly im sick of sending her where im uncomfortable sending her and i feel like its my job as her mother to protect her and sending her to dc with her bio mom for 17 days just feels like a no go for me.

I want to give my mom an ultimatitum. Either u start atleast coming here every other visit or you wont see her at all. My husband says smooch will resent us. I dont want to be evil but im tired if sharing my child with this ubgrateful lazy woman!
by on Jun. 18, 2014 at 8:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whitedove26
by Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 8:07 PM
2 moms liked this
You have to do what you think is best. Keeping her safe is top priority and all the extra drama is not good for her. I think the hardest part will be explaining it in a way that doesn't point fingers.
Smoochmommie
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 8:10 PM
I was gonna tell her that mommy doesnt have gas, but grandma said she will bring ur other mommy here for free so its up to her...

Is that mean?


Quoting whitedove26: You have to do what you think is best. Keeping her safe is top priority and all the extra drama is not good for her. I think the hardest part will be explaining it in a way that doesn't point fingers.
whitedove26
by Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 8:23 PM
No, it's not mean. It is hard when you are faced with explaining a difficult situation to a child. I just try to be as honest as possible as often as possible.

Quoting Smoochmommie: I was gonna tell her that mommy doesnt have gas, but grandma said she will bring ur other mommy here for free so its up to her...

Is that mean?


Quoting whitedove26: You have to do what you think is best. Keeping her safe is top priority and all the extra drama is not good for her. I think the hardest part will be explaining it in a way that doesn't point fingers.
Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:16 PM
Girl I wouldn't do it either.
Tell her come to you or nothing. As far as Smooch calling her 'mom' let the baby decide, whatever she comfortable with?


Quoting Smoochmommie: I havent posted on here in a long time when it pertains to the drama that is my ratchet ass family. Idk if i need advice. I think i need just an outlet to vent to and hear different opinions.

Anyways its the summer time and Smooch mom is begging for her. I have not sent her to stay with my mom since OCT. There was an incident where the police were involved, my child went missing and had to be retrieved and my moms excuse was "i needed a break i wasnt in my right mind". She has been back to visit but not while i wasnt in the city.

In Jan she signed over her parental rights and now we are still in the middle of adoption paperwork, homestudy, etc, needless to say she doesnt have any rights though.

She wants Smooch to call her mom. She wants the mom name without mom responsibilities. I have invited her to my house many times with offers of free round trip transportation. Shes made a million excuses why she cant visit.

The sister i had custody of last year is buck wild at 10yrs old and violent towards Smooch, my mom is afraid of her so rarely corrects the behaviors. So while Smooch says she misses her very much once she gets there shes being physically assaulted by someone twice her size!

My mom lives in a 1 bedroom...Taniha sleeps on the sofa. I told my mom i did not want Smooch sleeping in the bed with she and her boyfriend and if Smooch came i was sending her with a cot, by the way the convo went im sure she will be reluctant to use it!

She hasnt contributed a dime at all towards smooch. No christmas..no anything! Na-da-damn thing!

im tired of having to go out of my way and out of my finances for her to see Smooch when she refuses to make herself available for ANYTHING!

My hubby said smooch came to him a few times saying she misses her mom and wants to visit so bad etc and he feels evil saying no.

I dont feel evil..frankly im sick of sending her where im uncomfortable sending her and i feel like its my job as her mother to protect her and sending her to dc with her bio mom for 17 days just feels like a no go for me.

I want to give my mom an ultimatitum. Either u start atleast coming here every other visit or you wont see her at all. My husband says smooch will resent us. I dont want to be evil but im tired if sharing my child with this ubgrateful lazy woman!
Smoochmommie
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:19 PM
I dont care about smooch calling her mom...its just she wants the title of mom and doesnt do mom shit..then makes me out to be the bad guy! Ugh i cant win for loosing with her.

Quoting Hottmomma607: Girl I wouldn't do it either.
Tell her come to you or nothing. As far as Smooch calling her 'mom' let the baby decide, whatever she comfortable with?


Quoting Smoochmommie: I havent posted on here in a long time when it pertains to the drama that is my ratchet ass family. Idk if i need advice. I think i need just an outlet to vent to and hear different opinions.

Anyways its the summer time and Smooch mom is begging for her. I have not sent her to stay with my mom since OCT. There was an incident where the police were involved, my child went missing and had to be retrieved and my moms excuse was "i needed a break i wasnt in my right mind". She has been back to visit but not while i wasnt in the city.

In Jan she signed over her parental rights and now we are still in the middle of adoption paperwork, homestudy, etc, needless to say she doesnt have any rights though.

She wants Smooch to call her mom. She wants the mom name without mom responsibilities. I have invited her to my house many times with offers of free round trip transportation. Shes made a million excuses why she cant visit.

The sister i had custody of last year is buck wild at 10yrs old and violent towards Smooch, my mom is afraid of her so rarely corrects the behaviors. So while Smooch says she misses her very much once she gets there shes being physically assaulted by someone twice her size!

My mom lives in a 1 bedroom...Taniha sleeps on the sofa. I told my mom i did not want Smooch sleeping in the bed with she and her boyfriend and if Smooch came i was sending her with a cot, by the way the convo went im sure she will be reluctant to use it!

She hasnt contributed a dime at all towards smooch. No christmas..no anything! Na-da-damn thing!

im tired of having to go out of my way and out of my finances for her to see Smooch when she refuses to make herself available for ANYTHING!

My hubby said smooch came to him a few times saying she misses her mom and wants to visit so bad etc and he feels evil saying no.

I dont feel evil..frankly im sick of sending her where im uncomfortable sending her and i feel like its my job as her mother to protect her and sending her to dc with her bio mom for 17 days just feels like a no go for me.

I want to give my mom an ultimatitum. Either u start atleast coming here every other visit or you wont see her at all. My husband says smooch will resent us. I dont want to be evil but im tired if sharing my child with this ubgrateful lazy woman!
Hottmomma607
by Group Mod - Trica on Jun. 18, 2014 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Girl I know you don't care about that! But your mom is on trip mode, Smooch is not a shiny new toy. Set ground rules for her *to* see your daughter and she don't want to go by them? Then BYE FELICIA!

Quoting Smoochmommie: I dont care about smooch calling her mom...its just she wants the title of mom and doesnt do mom shit..then makes me out to be the bad guy! Ugh i cant win for loosing with her.
Quoting Hottmomma607: Girl I wouldn't do it either.

Tell her come to you or nothing. As far as Smooch calling her 'mom' let the baby decide, whatever she comfortable with?

Quoting Smoochmommie: I havent posted on here in a long time when it pertains to the drama that is my ratchet ass family. Idk if i need advice. I think i need just an outlet to vent to and hear different opinions.



Anyways its the summer time and Smooch mom is begging for her. I have not sent her to stay with my mom since OCT. There was an incident where the police were involved, my child went missing and had to be retrieved and my moms excuse was "i needed a break i wasnt in my right mind". She has been back to visit but not while i wasnt in the city.



In Jan she signed over her parental rights and now we are still in the middle of adoption paperwork, homestudy, etc, needless to say she doesnt have any rights though.



She wants Smooch to call her mom. She wants the mom name without mom responsibilities. I have invited her to my house many times with offers of free round trip transportation. Shes made a million excuses why she cant visit.



The sister i had custody of last year is buck wild at 10yrs old and violent towards Smooch, my mom is afraid of her so rarely corrects the behaviors. So while Smooch says she misses her very much once she gets there shes being physically assaulted by someone twice her size!



My mom lives in a 1 bedroom...Taniha sleeps on the sofa. I told my mom i did not want Smooch sleeping in the bed with she and her boyfriend and if Smooch came i was sending her with a cot, by the way the convo went im sure she will be reluctant to use it!



She hasnt contributed a dime at all towards smooch. No christmas..no anything! Na-da-damn thing!



im tired of having to go out of my way and out of my finances for her to see Smooch when she refuses to make herself available for ANYTHING!



My hubby said smooch came to him a few times saying she misses her mom and wants to visit so bad etc and he feels evil saying no.



I dont feel evil..frankly im sick of sending her where im uncomfortable sending her and i feel like its my job as her mother to protect her and sending her to dc with her bio mom for 17 days just feels like a no go for me.



I want to give my mom an ultimatitum. Either u start atleast coming here every other visit or you wont see her at all. My husband says smooch will resent us. I dont want to be evil but im tired if sharing my child with this ubgrateful lazy woman!
SiriSilasMom
by Kanyetta East on Jun. 19, 2014 at 9:22 AM
2 moms liked this

I personally wouldn't allow her to sleep over, ever. Not with her sister abusing her and some strange "boyfriend" there. Nope. I would carry her over there, let her stay for a couple of hours and we'd leave. I know you said it's a hardship footing the bill but I couldn't allow my kid to stay in those conditions.

Smoochmommie
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2014 at 9:31 AM
I agree!
Her boyfriend isnt strange tho lol. Hes Taniha's dad and Kennedys (old) father. He helpes take care of Smooch until last year when dna came back and said she wasnt his. But since thats not her dad..my husband is 100% uncomfortable with her laying in the bed with him and i dont blame him at all!

I told her yesterday she needed to come dowm here she says "i dont travel without money so i guess i just wont see her then" so fuck it! Shes such a selfish lady


Quoting SiriSilasMom:

I personally wouldn't allow her to sleep over, ever. Not with her sister abusing her and some strange "boyfriend" there. Nope. I would carry her over there, let her stay for a couple of hours and we'd leave. I know you said it's a hardship footing the bill but I couldn't allow my kid to stay in those conditions.

Mommabearbergh
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2014 at 10:25 AM
2 moms liked this

This is gonna sound mean but FUCK that lady. she isn't her mother she is the women who birthed her. Smooch won't resent you because she will look back and see all that was going on and realize she ended up in a better place then where she was. If that lady doesn't come down there then OH WELL. If you are doing right by smooch and doing what your supposed to when you have a child then live life and let me repeat this once again FUCK THAT LADY

cheetah90210
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2014 at 12:48 PM
She will resent your mother not you, i told you before that my husband adopted my son , his bio dad would leave him and not tell anyone in his house , my son would come home every week with diaper rash, marks on him , and dirty, i posted this about two years ago he left my son in bed and snuck out tge house told noone and my son left out the house looking for his dad at 4am at thr age of 1 he never gave me a dime either , doesnt work lives with his mom and they all just smoke n drink. When my husband adopted him we made the decision it was best he never see them again and he hasnt . He remembered them the first year now you show him a pic he has no clue who they are and is just all around a much more happy child, and i dont have to worry anymore.
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