Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Discipline and Race

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 9:45 AM
  • 10 Replies

My friend posted this video last night from 2011. This mom now dubbed the Hot Sauce Mom had her dd record her punishing her adopted son so they could get on Dr. Phil. I was personally sickened by this video and found it hard to watch. I do not agree with this woman's actions.

I was raised getting my butt beat. I have been hit with everything from a belt, shoe, extension cord, switch, and hot wheels track. I am not a stranger to having my mom get in my face and correct me. I have had to kneel in a corner with my arms out and balence, do push ups, and  But that cold shower and hot sauce does not sit well with me. Especially over such a minor offense from a small child. I feel like this mom lost control.

So where does race come into this??? While my friends debated back and fourth I noticed several black women defend this video and make general statements that this is how WE the BLACK community disciplines our kids. And that white people are just too sensitive and quick to call every little thing child abuse.

What are your thoughts on this video? Have you or Would you ever hot sauce your child? (My aunt did soap a few times on me) What about about the cold showers? What are some alternatives this woman could have used?


by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 9:45 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Mommabearbergh
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 11:06 AM

that is to much. we do grounding and taking things away. you do that kind of stuff and kids grow up with no compassion for others.

Sydel
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:01 PM

They have the full episode online. I haven't wanted it yet but I did see clips. In one a woman pointed out that this boy is adopted. And when he joined their family they promised to love him. So now she's in his face yelling you don't like and he is probably thinking but you are lying. Because you promised to love me and now you are treating me this way.

In another update Dr. Phil said that in some states this is not considered abuse because the hot sauce is FDA approved for consumption and that she did not attack his self esteem or cause tissue damage.

That's crazy! That  you have to "attack" self esteem and damage tissue before something like this could be considered abuse.

Quoting Mommabearbergh:

that is to much. we do grounding and taking things away. you do that kind of stuff and kids grow up with no compassion for others.


inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I discipline how I was disciplined as a child- I wasn't hit as a child(well, once and it wasn't by my parents). I do loss of privilege, time out, role modeling, positive reinforcement. 

I kinda of think the hot sauce/cold shower thing is lazy parenting. Instead of just being punitive teach the kid other ways of handling himself.

Sydel
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:06 PM

I agree that it's lazy. You need to educate and explain to your children WHY their actions were wrong. Not just attack  Also at that age I try to get the whole story. I like to have a full blown conversation with my dd and find out what led to her card being changed. If she was fighting why? What made her put her hands on another child? How could she have handled it differently? None of that was adressed. This woman just focused on the fact that a small child hide the truth out of fear of her. And in response all she did was create more fear and widen the gap of trust.

Quoting inmybizz:

I discipline how I was disciplined as a child- I wasn't hit as a child(well, once and it wasn't by my parents). I do loss of privilege, time out, role modeling, positive reinforcement. 

I kinda of think the hot sauce/cold shower thing is lazy parenting. Instead of just being punitive teach the kid other ways of handling himself.


inmybizz
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:16 PM

I'm the same way. 

Quoting Sydel:

I agree that it's lazy. You need to educate and explain to your children WHY their actions were wrong. Not just attack  Also at that age I try to get the whole story. I like to have a full blown conversation with my dd and find out what led to her card being changed. If she was fighting why? What made her put her hands on another child? How could she have handled it differently? None of that was adressed. This woman just focused on the fact that a small child hide the truth out of fear of her. And in response all she did was create more fear and widen the gap of trust.

Quoting inmybizz:

I discipline how I was disciplined as a child- I wasn't hit as a child(well, once and it wasn't by my parents). I do loss of privilege, time out, role modeling, positive reinforcement. 

I kinda of think the hot sauce/cold shower thing is lazy parenting. Instead of just being punitive teach the kid other ways of handling himself.



ms.renae
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
They need to take him out of that home.

I take things from my girls and do time outs. I have no respect for those who feel they need to hit their kids.
1sttimemom21514
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 11:46 PM
I am sorry. I am all for disicipling a child. But making a kid drink hot sauce, are you kidding me? Adopted or not, there are more suitable punishments. no tv for a week, not fun activities, something else but drinking hot sauce. This woman needs a parenting class asap.
ayacocca
by Platinum Member on Apr. 11, 2015 at 3:20 AM
Couldn't pull myself to watch bc I don't agree with those methods.. I'd rather talk those things out & allow for the punishment to be well understood. Its rare that I spank, bc with my kids loss of freedom (priviledges.) goes further.
Passionismyname
by on Apr. 11, 2015 at 4:42 AM
1 mom liked this

Nope, nope, I can't even look at this shocking mess.

jinxmom
by jinx on Apr. 13, 2015 at 7:54 AM

I found that hard to watch.  I don't care what kind of punishment you use WE still lie, why?  to not get in trouble.  That's just tooooooooooooooooooooooo much. Heck he probably is still lying like she does too UGHHHHHH

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)