Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

African American Mommies African American Mommies

Being a Mom

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2007 at 6:02 PM
  • 2 Replies
1 mom liked this
> WARNING - Grab a tissue - or a whole box. This is beautiful.
>
>
>
> We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that
> she and her husband are thinking of 'starting a family.'
>
> 'We're taking a survey,' she says half-joking.   'Do you think I should
> have a baby?'
>
> 'It will change your life,' I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
>
> 'I know,' she says, 'no more sleeping in on weekends, no more
> spontaneous vacations.'
>
> But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to
> decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn
> in childbirth classes.
>
> I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal,
> but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw
> that she will forever be vulnerable.
>
> I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper
> without asking, 'What if that had been MY child?' that every plane
> crash, every house fire will haunt her, that when she sees pictures of
> starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than
> watching your child die.
>
> I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that
> no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her
> to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub; that an urgent call of
'Mom!'
> will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments
> hesitation.
>
> I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
> invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
> She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an
> important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.
> She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running
> home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
>
> I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
> routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room
> rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That
> right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children,
> issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the
> prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
>
> However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess
> herself constantly as a mother.
>
> Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually
> she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same
> about herself.
>
> That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she
> has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her
> offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to
> accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
>
> I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will
> become badges of honour. My daughter's relationship with her husband
> will change, but not in the way she thinks.
>
> I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is
> careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his
> child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him
> again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
>
> I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women
> throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.>
>
> I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child
> learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a
> baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I
> want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
>
> My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in
> my eyes. 'You'll never regret it,' I finally say. Then I reached across
> the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for
> her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their
> way into this most wonderful of callings.
by on Mar. 13, 2007 at 6:02 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-2):
MonicaJaye
by on Mar. 13, 2007 at 10:53 PM
Bravo!  Bravo!  That was PHENOMENAL!!!!  I was just thinking today how blessed I am to be a mom.  It's a feeling that I could never put into words.  This.......right hear.........that was it.  Enough said.  Thank you for sharing.
Alovepoem4u
by on May. 9, 2012 at 6:51 AM
I Love being a mom for more reasons than I can name. Children bring life to your life, and give you a reason to live and to fight for what is right, because you want a safe, clean world for your children to grow up in.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)