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I don't want to do it.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:19 AM
  • 7 Replies

Everyone thinks I should put Emma in her crib and that she doesn't need to nurse at night anymore.  I agree she is primarily using me for comfort now and yes, I would like her to sleep longer (she is still up 4-5 times a night) but I still don't want to move her yet.  I don't feel like she's ready and I don't want to force it on her.  It was so easy with my son.  At 8 months he was in his crib because he wanted to be in his crib.  This little lady doesn't even like it when I leave her in her crib to play for a few minutes during the day so I can vacuum or do dishes and she's 10 months now.  She has never slept in it and I know it's going to be a gigantic ordeal and stressful for me and her if I do it now while she's still used to having me to latch onto and snuggle up with throughout the night.  I'm really worried maybe everyone is right though and the longer I wait the harder it will be.  What if she never decides she's ready on her own?  I don't know if she will.  What did you nursing mamas do to get your baby to wean from the night nursing (not completely, but maybe down to 1-2 times at most) and to sleep alone after months of co-sleeping?


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:19 AM
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MamaJen74
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:22 AM

Honestly the best advice I can offer is to follow your heart and ignore everyone telling you that you need to put your baby in her crib.  What you really need to do is meet her needs...and if that means cosleeping, so be it. 

To be honest, I cosleep until my children are at least 3 if not older.  That's YEARS, not months.  It works for my family.  In reality, children grow up so fast.  It doesn't take long before snuggling with mommy isn't cool anymore.  I say enjoy it while you can. 

I guess I'm not really a whole lot of help on how to night wean.  I did wean my older three but they were still sleeping with me anyway.  My fourth still sleeps with me but weaned herself.

  



childress1987
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:27 AM

There is NEVER a GOOD time or RIGHT time. My daughter is 22months now and no longer nurses at all but she is STILL co-sleeping. She does take her naps in her toddler bed now but still co sleeps at night. I will not rush or force her, she will be ready when she is ready, I guess you have to ask your self how long you are willing to co sleep if you dont want to let her do it till she is over it then you may as well move her now as it will only get harder as she gets older but if you are ok with it and dont mind it then I say let it happen naturally. My daughter NEVER slept in a crib, she just wasnt comfortable in it. At a year we introduced her to a toddler bed, it is in our room and we just let her play in it sit in it and get used to it for a month then I strted putting her in it to nap and she took right to it, since then she has naped in it no problem however she is  stilll not ready to sleep in it at night but that is fine by us. Good luck

I am a 22m/ year old co-sleeping by choice, Vaccinating, non cioing, not married but certantly not single,breast/bottle feeding,Christian,McCain votingCloth diapering, proud young momma to a 22 month old wondeful little girl and a 3 week old little boy who is my hero!!! Life is about love so dont be mean... Go Green!!!|




 




MommyToSmeech
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:49 AM

I would like if she were in her own crib in another 6 months or so, give or take a month or two.  I am just worried she is not going to get to that point on her own though and that once I wait that long she is still going to be nursing 4-5 times a night and it's going to be even harder to do.  Right now I don't want to move her at all.  I'm quite content with her where she is.  But yes, in the future I would like her to learn to sleep through the night and hopefully sleep on her own as well, so I can get some much needed uninterrupted sleep.  I think it will also be beneficial for my son as well, since he is having a hard time understanding why Emma is a baby and can sleep with us, but he is a big boy and needs to continue sleeping in his own bed.

Everyone I know personally tells me that they either never had their baby in their bed at all, or if they did they had to CIO.  I don't want to use CIO, so I'm just lost.  With my son it was so easy because I never had to push him to do anything at all really.  He did everything on his own time and at a time that was where I wanted him to be or even ahead of where I wanted him to be.  I would have loved for him to be in my bed for at least the first year or so, but he liked sleeping in his crib and slept so much more peacefully in it, so that's where he went.  Emma, well, she is showing no signs at all of ever wanting anything to do with the crib.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie
LeanneC
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:58 AM


Quoting MommyToSmeech:

I would like if she were in her own crib in another 6 months or so, give or take a month or two.  I am just worried she is not going to get to that point on her own though and that once I wait that long she is still going to be nursing 4-5 times a night and it's going to be even harder to do.  Right now I don't want to move her at all.  I'm quite content with her where she is.  But yes, in the future I would like her to learn to sleep through the night and hopefully sleep on her own as well, so I can get some much needed uninterrupted sleep.  I think it will also be beneficial for my son as well, since he is having a hard time understanding why Emma is a baby and can sleep with us, but he is a big boy and needs to continue sleeping in his own bed.

My first started going longer stretches around 14 months... I'm talking from 6-8 times a night, to 3-4 times a night.  We night weaned at 2 and he still woke 1-2 times a night (if he was in his own bed).  He just started doing the full 12 hours in his bed on some nights as of the beginning of the year (first ever time was on christmas).  He also just turned 4.

Some kids just aren't ready to sleep alone/sleep all night until they are older.  She WILL eventually do it on her own and you CAN do things to help it along.  No way to force it except to leave her to cry, however (and that's something I was never willing to do).   David actually asks to sleep in his own bed now (we still co-sleep on some nights... baby co-sleeps full time) and that started about 6 months ago. 

So, she will do it... may not be on your timetable, but it will happen.


catholicmamamia
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:30 AM


Quoting MommyToSmeech: Everyone thinks I should put Emma in her crib and that she doesn't need to nurse at night anymore.  And they are entitled to their opinions, even if these opinions are very wrong!  :o)

I agree she is primarily using me for comfort now  From day one, breastfeeding has always been part nutrition, part immunities, part bonding, part comfort....

and yes, I would like her to sleep longer (she is still up 4-5 times a night) but I still don't want to move her yet.  I understand, it sounds like you are very in tune to your baby's needs!

I don't feel like she's ready and I don't want to force it on her.  Then she is probably not ready and this is something that should not be forced.

It was so easy with my son.  At 8 months he was in his crib because he wanted to be in his crib.  This little lady doesn't even like it when I leave her in her crib to play for a few minutes during the day so I can vacuum or do dishes and she's 10 months now. As you have learned, every baby and his/her needs are different.

She has never slept in it and I know it's going to be a gigantic ordeal and stressful for me and her if I do it now while she's still used to having me to latch onto and snuggle up with throughout the night.  True, true.. biologically, mothers and babies are designed to share sleep space and nurse through the night.

I'm really worried maybe everyone is right though and the longer I wait the harder it will be.  What if she never decides she's ready on her own?  I don't know if she will.  No, they are not right.... waiting until things happen naturally makes things easier, not harder!

What did you nursing mamas do to get your baby to wean from the night nursing (not completely, but maybe down to 1-2 times at most) and to sleep alone after months of co-sleeping? What I did was:  nothing! Babies generally reduce the number of night feeds as the need lessens. Cessation of nighttime feeds and co-sleeping will happen, I promise.. our babies will not want to breastfeed and co-sleep forever!  :o)


                              Mia ~  Breastfeeding Moms Group Moderator
              

lifetimelove
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:19 AM

I haven't had to use CIO with my daughter.  For one, she has a neuromuscular disorder and it's NOT an option, and two, she has failure to thrive and when she cries, she needs to eat. 

We had a pretty smooth transition from our bed to her crib right around 12 months.  I just started nursing her to sleep in the glider instead of in bed, and when she was totally limp/asleep, I'd lay her down.  If she woke up, we started over.  It was an exhausting night for me, but she figured it out.   It takes a few nights for them to get comfortable with it, but there's no need to CIO to transition to the crib.  On her good nights I only get up with her 1-2 times a night.  She has other health issues that means we have bad nights about half the time, but that won't be your issue.

You can check out things like Dr. Jay Gordon's "transitioning from the family bed" article and Dr. Sears sleep articles and Elizabeth Pantley's "no-cry sleep solution" book when you're ready to make the transition.

There's no one right or wrong way to do sleeping.  You do what's right for you family.  My sister never "kicked" any of her four children out of the family bed, they made the transition when they were ready, and they all sleep well and peacefully in their own beds and have for years (the youngest is 8 and the oldest is 13).  Some made that transition around a year, and the latest transition was about three when he got to his own room.

Quoting MommyToSmeech:

I would like if she were in her own crib in another 6 months or so, give or take a month or two.  I am just worried she is not going to get to that point on her own though and that once I wait that long she is still going to be nursing 4-5 times a night and it's going to be even harder to do.  Right now I don't want to move her at all.  I'm quite content with her where she is.  But yes, in the future I would like her to learn to sleep through the night and hopefully sleep on her own as well, so I can get some much needed uninterrupted sleep.  I think it will also be beneficial for my son as well, since he is having a hard time understanding why Emma is a baby and can sleep with us, but he is a big boy and needs to continue sleeping in his own bed.

Everyone I know personally tells me that they either never had their baby in their bed at all, or if they did they had to CIO.  I don't want to use CIO, so I'm just lost.  With my son it was so easy because I never had to push him to do anything at all really.  He did everything on his own time and at a time that was where I wanted him to be or even ahead of where I wanted him to be.  I would have loved for him to be in my bed for at least the first year or so, but he liked sleeping in his crib and slept so much more peacefully in it, so that's where he went.  Emma, well, she is showing no signs at all of ever wanting anything to do with the crib.


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MamaJen74
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:53 AM

When the time DOES come and you are both ready, you could read The No-Cry Sleep Solution to give you some pointers.  I haven't used this myself but have heard great things. 

As for uninterrupted sleep...good luck with that one LOL.  My kids are 15, 8, 5, 2 and 2 months.  I haven't had ONE night of uninterrupted sleep in...15 years.   My 8 yr old sleeps all night for the most part but even then 5 yr old is up at least once a night at least 3-4 times a week.  I guess I'm just saying that night weaning or using a crib doesn't necessarily mean mama gets to sleep.  Ahh, one of the joys of motherhood LOL.

  



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