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A little upset!

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 5:18 AM
  • 11 Replies

My son was born last Friday, the 12th. I was so adamant on breastfeeding him!! I did not want him to be on formula, but he had other plans. He won't breastfeed for nothing. We've tried everything possible. I'm so upset about it because now he has to be on formula and I really did not want that. Anybody have some advice to help me stop feeling so guilty?

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 5:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Gina on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:52 AM

The baby is still alive, right? That's the important thing. There are no medals for exclusive breastfeeding. Guilt is for murder, and you haven't murdered anybody. So banish the guilt.

That said...it isn't too late till the day your breasts are surgically removed. So if you want to try again, then by all means you can. (Mine didn't latch for 14 days. We've had some go longer. So by NO means is it too late.)

Have you seen a lactation consultant? It can make ALL the difference in the world.

ArmyMom2oneboy
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:57 AM

I agree, as usual, with gdiamante! FInd a good iBCLC, she will be able to help a lot!

LJM21
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:21 PM

Thanks, I will try to find one around my town. I haven't even thought about that! He's 8 days old today, so I keep hoping and praying he will want to breastfeed. I was told before we left the hospital, It also could be because he was premature. His Digestive system didn't fully develop so he's on Similac Aliminum right now. 

jllange
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:55 PM

Can you pump and feed him the breast milk through a bottle? That way you don't have to put him on formula which might help you feel better. That's what I had to do for about the first week, then he just latched right on and we've been doing great ever since. I know how you feel though - I was devestated when they gave my son formula in the hospital b/c my milk hadn't come in and he had jaundice; and then he wouldn't latch. All of being a mom is doing the best you can, and if you've done your best, there's nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck!

ablackdolphin
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:02 PM
A LC saved me. I wouldn't have been able to continue without her. I was so afraid of pumping but after just talking to her on the phone she told me to pump like a crazy woman for 2 days...every 1-2 hrs for no more than 15 minutes...basically to pump every time I walked by my pump even if for only a few minutes. I was very tired...but wow did it pay off. I still have MANY issues, and mainly feed her BM by bottle...I feel that it's less than desirable and I'm sad I'll never be one of the women who has a wonderful experience of feeding all the time, sitting down, in public etc...we just can't do that here. But, at least with pumping, she's getting the benefits I wanted her to get. You might try pumping and see how that works for you. It's a lot of work, but might help you feel better. If not....formula is not the enemy...you're doing what you need to in order to do the best for your baby. You are not too far gone to at least try to find a LC or even attend a Le Leche League meeting in your area. I wish you the best!
jeng1980
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:09 PM

 I agree with the post below.  You are doing all you can.  You've done all you can.  It it never too late.

Quoting gdiamante:

The baby is still alive, right? That's the important thing. There are no medals for exclusive breastfeeding. Guilt is for murder, and you haven't murdered anybody. So banish the guilt.

That said...it isn't too late till the day your breasts are surgically removed. So if you want to try again, then by all means you can. (Mine didn't latch for 14 days. We've had some go longer. So by NO means is it too late.)

Have you seen a lactation consultant? It can make ALL the difference in the world.

 

Please check out My Blog

LJM21
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 8:00 AM

I haven't thought about that and my Hospital didn't recommend it, but I will definitely try that! Thanks! He was on the billi lights for 2 days, but he didn't have jaundice, they told us he was at risk for it and his billi levels was high because I have O+ blood. I was scared to death when they told us that.

Quoting jllange:

Can you pump and feed him the breast milk through a bottle? That way you don't have to put him on formula which might help you feel better. That's what I had to do for about the first week, then he just latched right on and we've been doing great ever since. I know how you feel though - I was devestated when they gave my son formula in the hospital b/c my milk hadn't come in and he had jaundice; and then he wouldn't latch. All of being a mom is doing the best you can, and if you've done your best, there's nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck!


LJM21
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 8:02 AM

Thank you! I am sure gonna try the pumping. I really wanted him to have the benefits of breast milk, more than anything.

Quoting ablackdolphin:

A LC saved me. I wouldn't have been able to continue without her. I was so afraid of pumping but after just talking to her on the phone she told me to pump like a crazy woman for 2 days...every 1-2 hrs for no more than 15 minutes...basically to pump every time I walked by my pump even if for only a few minutes. I was very tired...but wow did it pay off. I still have MANY issues, and mainly feed her BM by bottle...I feel that it's less than desirable and I'm sad I'll never be one of the women who has a wonderful experience of feeding all the time, sitting down, in public etc...we just can't do that here. But, at least with pumping, she's getting the benefits I wanted her to get. You might try pumping and see how that works for you. It's a lot of work, but might help you feel better. If not....formula is not the enemy...you're doing what you need to in order to do the best for your baby. You are not too far gone to at least try to find a LC or even attend a Le Leche League meeting in your area. I wish you the best!


AlohaKim01
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 8:07 AM

It's still very early, he has to learn and so do you.  You need to see a lactation consultant.  She can help you and find out what's going on.  But pumping in the meantime is a great idea.  I suggest seeing an LC sooner than later.  It takes about 6 weeks to really get it going smoothly.

star33
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 9:00 PM

i agree that u should try bf/ & giving it to him in a bottle until maybe he can bf directly. if it doesn't work out i wouldn't worry too much. at least u tried.

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