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This just totally boggles my mind ...

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:15 PM
  • 6 Replies

I know some people will probably jump all over me for this, because people get annoyed when we "judge" people for formula feeding.  And I understand that a lot of people stop breastfeeding because they are given bad information, or just don't understand how breastfeeding works or how hard it will be, and they give up before it gets easier.

But I have a friend I went to college with.  She's really smart, graduated from the air force academy, has a degree in biology, just a very intelligent girl.  She had a baby on the 23rd of January.  The baby is only a few minutes old, and there's her DH (who is also a friend of my husband and I's - we all went to the Academy together), but there's her DH with a bottle of formula in the babies mouth.

She didn't even TRY!  It just boggles my mind.  That baby didn't even get one drop of breastmilk.  I just don't understand how someone so smart and intelligent wouldn't even consider breastfeeding.   To not even try.

She lives in Oklahoma now and I'm in Hawaii, so it's not like we see each other often enough to talk about it - the last time we saw each other my son was just 3 months old and she had been married a year.  We're friends on facebook and that's how I saw her picture, but I was hoping to see her next summer when DH and I are on the mainland.  I really am curious as to why she didn't want to breastfeed.  I know that facebook isn't an appropriate place to bring it up, but maybe we'll talk about it when I go to visit them. 

And no, I'm not going to try to explain to her why she's wrong, I just am curious as to why she didn't try. 

Sorry, I just had to vent.  Originally I thought that maybe she had given up early because of some complications or bad information, but when I saw the newly delivered baby with a bottle of formula in his mouth, my jaw just about fell off.

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by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:15 PM
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Replies (1-6):
ablackdolphin
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:20 PM
I've had similar situations with 2 women I know....both who stay at home. I was so sad to hear that they didn't even give it a few days or weeks. Hell, just for the weight loss help and contractions of the uterus alone..if nothing else... Oh well, to each their own...
jeng1980
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:29 PM

It really makes me wonder the same thing about people.  I've learned to keep my mouth shut.  There is someone who is pregnant right now and we are not really what you call friends but we have two children the same age...only a month apart.  She asked me at Christmas if I had gotten the baby off the bottle yet.  She didn't even realize that I breastfeed.  She is pregnant with #3 and she says she will TRY breastfeeding but it's never worked for her in the past so she just figures she will at least try.  I know for a fact that she tried no more than a day or two.  I can already see she is setting herself up for failure by saying that she at least tried.  I told her that I'd be glad to discuss with her things about BFing.  I told her it's so much cheaper to do that than to formula feed.  She also has had to buy the most expensive formula for her previous two children so we'll see with this one.  Of course, they send their children to private school and they are uhm well.....loaded so formula cost is nothing to her.  She's never asked me anything so I figure I'll just keep my mouth shut.  Better that than her avoid me all the way around.  I think she already is avoiding me.  LOL!  Like PP said, to each their own.

Chibi_Kitten
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:22 PM

 Are you sure it was formula in the bottle?

My cousin wanted to breastfeed, was damned determined to do so. Her little girl has a cleft pallet so, even with a nipple shield, the baby has no suction and can't latch on. She's pumping and feeding her daughter breastmilk in a special bottle.

Just a thought.

RippledBegonias
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:28 PM

?? I dont get it either...  sorry not insightfulat all... but I kWYM... I have such a hard struggle with this issue... I dont want to be judgemental or cruel Im just very passionate about BF'ing...

Heather881029
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:49 PM

At the hosptial where I delivered all my children you are required to take a discharge class before leaving the hospital, no matter how many kids you have.  In the class they discuss who is breastfeeding and who is formula feeding.  I had my twins in September and there were 11 women in the cass with me and there were only 2 of us even attempting to breastfeed. 

hoping4number3
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:52 PM

yep...have a friend that had a baby 2 monthes before me...SAME thing happened...it just urked me! lol I FF my first 3 cuz I knew no better...but I TRIED to the best of my education! I don't get why moms just don't even try...AT LEAST get the baby some colostrum :(

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