Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Had a break down today.....

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:12 PM
  • 14 Replies

Adalyn is 6 weeks old and we are going strong at breastfeeding!  YAY me!  We have been through thrush and cracked nipples which have caused many days of mommy crying in pain!  I have almost no support in my family at all for Bfing.  DH is coming around but is still kinda iffy on it.  Jaxon our 3 yr old I couldn't get to latch and having no support and help I just pumped and fed him so i never nursed him.

Today I was out with my mom shopping.  Adalyn wouldn't quit crying at Kohls because she was tired and hates sleeping in her car seat.  My mom proceeds to lecture me on nursing her to sleep all the time and if I just put her down awake she would know how to sleep on her own without me.  So I went off on my mom because I do put her to bed awake 90% of the time but Im not waking her from nursing to put her in her crib so she can learn to go to sleep on her own.

2nd thing I always takes bottles of BM when I am out because my mom doesn't want me to NIP.  Adalyn hates the bottle and we are just getting her to take them at night with Daddy after much struggle. I am trying my hardest to get her to eat at the store and she eats a pretty good amount but then just screams because she wants my boob,  Again my mom starts lecturing me about well if you would feed her from a bottle at least once a day she wouldn't be crying right now.  And me being totally pissed start yelling at her that I do but it is Justin that feeds her not me.

I just feel no support for breastfeeding from my mom and she should be my main support besides Justin.  When I had thrush and was crying on the phone to her about it she just told me to quit and give her bottles if I was going to complain so much.  I love my mom so much and she is wonderful but just doesn't get the breastfeeding thing.  I can't imgaine ever NIP with her because she is so uncomfortable with it. Same with DH he isn't comfy with me doing it in front of anyone either even with a cover. They make me feel like it is dirty or something.

Sorry for my long vent just needed to get it out. I don't want anyone to bash on my mom or DH I just need some advice on how to make them understand.  I called my BFF crying on the phone about wanting to quit and I think I could feel her slap me through the phone.  She is really the only support I have.  Thanks to anyone who read all this!

Jaxon Ray 3-27-07toddler boy  Adalyn Jean 3-06-10baby girl



by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:12 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
loribbi
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:28 PM

 Remember, you are doing what is best for your baby and you!  It doesn't matter what your mom or Justin thinks.  Continue doing what you do best and that is taking care of your child whether breastfeeding or bottle.  You're the better person here.  If your mom & Justin are open to reading about it, point them both to LLL article and the WHO website which may help them change their minds or at least make them more tolerant.

We're here to support you, so vent all you need.

Lori

cmiller83
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:39 PM

I'm glad that at least Justin is coming along, I think that means a lot and I hope it does to you too.

My mom is kinda the same as your mom it sounds like...She nursed me and my brother for about 6 months until we "weaned ourselves" so she was VERY supportive about nursing until about 6 months and then I got thrush. She wasn't supportive in the way I wanted, just kept saying, "you've gone this long maybe it's time to quit"

I know it is hard cause I am struggling with it too but stop talking to her about it, if you need to complain and talk come here and type away OR call your BFF. Keep your mom informed with the basics and leave it at that. If you go out shopping with her again tell her you can go to the other side of the store if you want but my baby is hungry and I'm going to feed her.

Is there any reason your mom didn't offer to give her a bottle instead of you in the store?? That's an option too. We were at a big mall with the car at least a 15 minute walk from us and DD was getting fussy and hungry...I sat down in one of the rest areas outside of sears and got a blanket out so I could cover and nurse DD. my DH almost freaked and I just told him to get over it and carried on. He did get over it and we were able to carry on.

Don't let people get to you. As loribbi said, you are doing what's best for your baby and that's what matters.

stumpy96
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:40 PM

I actually have trouble with my mom too.  She doesn't discourage me but tells me all the time "I don't know how you can do it". I struggle because I can't say what I want to say...that nursing and co-sleeping with my little ones are the two activities that cause us to bond the most.  I can't say this because she did neither with me when I was a baby and because I have a terrible relationship with my mother.  Maybe you should say it...

BTW, check into hooter hiders.  I use one and it is awesome!  Covers you completely and you can still see your sweet little baby's face.  Totally freed me!

Daynaof3
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:44 PM

 I'm sorry you don't have the support you deserve for breastfeeding. I think I would have a sit down with your mom and dh and let them know how important breastfeeding is to you and all the reasons why. I would also let them know how much it hurts you when they are unsupportive of your decision. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for you and your baby, they should want what's best for you both too. Maybe if you can get them to see it from your side they will start to feel the same way. It's definitely worth a try.

You always have us too! {{hugs}}

gdiamante
by Gina on Apr. 19, 2010 at 4:04 PM


Quoting Jaxonsmom:

Adalyn is 6 weeks old and we are going strong at breastfeeding!  YAY me!  We have been through thrush and cracked nipples which have caused many days of mommy crying in pain!  I have almost no support in my family at all for Bfing.  DH is coming around but is still kinda iffy on it.  Jaxon our 3 yr old I couldn't get to latch and having no support and help I just pumped and fed him so i never nursed him.

Rmeember that the ONLY support you truly need is that of the woman n your mirror. She's with you forever, after all.

Today I was out with my mom shopping.  Adalyn wouldn't quit crying at Kohls because she was tired and hates sleeping in her car seat.  My mom proceeds to lecture me on nursing her to sleep all the time and if I just put her down awake she would know how to sleep on her own without me.  

At six weeks? Sorry but your mom is a nutcase...they don't understand sleep at this age! your baby was being NORMAL.

So I went off on my mom because I do put her to bed awake 90% of the time but Im not waking her from nursing to put her in her crib so she can learn to go to sleep on her own.

Change nothing.

2nd thing I always takes bottles of BM when I am out because my mom doesn't want me to NIP.  Adalyn hates the bottle and we are just getting her to take them at night with Daddy after much struggle. I am trying my hardest to get her to eat at the store and she eats a pretty good amount but then just screams because she wants my boob,  Again my mom starts lecturing me about well if you would feed her from a bottle at least once a day she wouldn't be crying right now.  And me being totally pissed start yelling at her that I do but it is Justin that feeds her not me.

Stop catering to your mom. Nurse in public and tell her if she doesn't like it, you don't have to do things together.

I just feel no support for breastfeeding from my mom and she should be my main support besides Justin.  

Sadly, our mothers generally are NOT our best support in ANY of our parenting choices.

When I had thrush and was crying on the phone to her about it she just told me to quit and give her bottles if I was going to complain so much.  I love my mom so much and she is wonderful but just doesn't get the breastfeeding thing.  I can't imgaine ever NIP with her because she is so uncomfortable with it. Same with DH he isn't comfy with me doing it in front of anyone either even with a cover. They make me feel like it is dirty or something.

Make them read the 101 Reasons to Breastfeed. It's a condition of discussing anything.

Sorry for my long vent just needed to get it out. I don't want anyone to bash on my mom or DH I just need some advice on how to make them understand.  I called my BFF crying on the phone about wanting to quit and I think I could feel her slap me through the phone.  She is really the only support I have.  Thanks to anyone who read all this!

Here's the sad truth of life: You have to be your OWN support system most of the time.

We're here to help you get to that point.

"I am a rock, I am an island" was probably one of the truest things Paul Simon ever wrote...we all have to be able to stand for ourselves more often than not.

mlregalado
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 4:10 PM

I'm sorry you have so little support. What I do is wear an undershirt and a regular shirt and no one is the wiser when I NIP. Don't let your mom dictate how you feed your child, she had hers already, she fed them as she saw fit, it is your right to do the same.

SillyRooster
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 4:18 PM


Quoting mlregalado:

I'm sorry you have so little support. What I do is wear an undershirt and a regular shirt and no one is the wiser when I NIP. Don't let your mom dictate how you feed your child, she had hers already, she fed them as she saw fit, it is your right to do the same.

Sounds like you are being a BF pioneer in your circle, it's not going to be easy.  You are doing what you know is best for your child.  Stick you your guns.  If you need support we're here for ya!  mlregalado had a great tip with the NIP double layer (I used a tank top underneath)!

-Dani, mother hen to one SillyRooster
kemmerer411
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 4:40 PM

My mom isn't supportive of breastfeeding at all either. : (  Dont let anyone get you down! Your doing a great job!

Jaxonsmom
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 4:47 PM

Thanks for all the words of encouragement!  My main problem is I am not confident enough to NIP so I really need someone to push me to do it instead of agreeing with me.  Even my BFF that nursed for 36 months (2 kids) didn't NIP.  I need someone personal in my life to be like okay Chelsea just do it!  LOL  I have always been a person to care so much what other people think and to think everyone is staring at me and talking about me I am afraid to NIP thinking everyone will stare at me.

gdiamante
by Gina on Apr. 19, 2010 at 5:37 PM


Quoting Jaxonsmom:

Thanks for all the words of encouragement!  My main problem is I am not confident enough to NIP so I really need someone to push me to do it instead of agreeing with me.  

This is me pushing you...

Even my BFF that nursed for 36 months (2 kids) didn't NIP.  I need someone personal in my life to be like okay Chelsea just do it!  

Just do it!

LOL  I have always been a person to care so much what other people think and to think everyone is staring at me and talking about me I am afraid to NIP thinking everyone will stare at me.

And here's somethng else to consider. The opinions of people you don't know are worth less that the contents of a latrine bucket. At least the manure in the latrine bucket could be used to fertilize something. Those naysaying opinions do NOTHING for ANYONE except harm.

Didja know that Michael Jordan was breastfed to age three? Same with Albert Einstein. And Jesus was certainly breastfed past the birthday.

Here's my take. Unless someone is as briliant as Dr. Einstein, as successful as Mr. Jordan or able to walk on water...I don't need to listen to them on this.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)