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Feeling inadequate and like a terrible mom

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:42 PM
  • 5 Replies

Im breastfeeding my 1 month old and am so happy that Im finally able to breastfeed I havent been able to before for very long. Lately last few days Ive been feeling very emotional and the idea that I cant leave baby with anyone to get a break because If breastfeeding is just too much sometimes. I have pumped baby takes a bottle fine. We had issues with jaundice and had to pump and give him formula just for 24 hrs, I didnt even go the full 24 hrs and I know my milk supply went down a lil so Im afraid to pump instead of letting baby nurse. Also I feel bad that my other kids are being "neglected" because Im busy with baby. I just need some words of encouragement. Am I a bad mom for wishing someone could take baby?? Feeling so down. 

by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:42 PM
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Replies (1-5):
new_mom808
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:52 PM

Oh mama. It's so normal. You're not a bad mom at all. Some of it is risidual hormones too. Can you try to pump a little in addition to nursing? This would increase supply, not deplete. Maybe in a couple of days when you have a little stash you can get away for a couple of hours. (just in time for the weekend!)
If you feel like it you could even take the older kids with you, on sort of a date just you and them so they know how much you still care. Or maybe plan to take them w/ you next time. A couple hours a week of special "mom" time is totally reasonable. :)

Destiny13
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:03 PM

You can only do your best and you are very right to nurse on demand! Honestly, I realllyyy think you're doing a great job! Wonderfully great job!

It helps to remember that you gain back more and more time as the days go by. At about 6 months and on, you can start leaving for longer periods of time without having to worry!

These days are just so precious! Enjoy this time while it is still here! You know these special moments will be gone before you know it, and you'll be on to the next and cherishing these memories. Make the best out of it, by focusing on the good. We as creatures remember happy moments easier. They make bigger impacts on our minds!

You really are doing awesome, amazing, and worthwhile work here! Enjoy!

JJRsMomma
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:07 PM

You're not a bad mom you're just stressed. I'm sure most of us can admit it takes a lot to breastfeed sometimes. But I think what really keeps us going is why we're doing it. How important it is for our children. Like you've already done maybe pump a few more bottles out and allow your husband to do the feeding. Don't give up though...you'll find it's actually not that hard to nurse your child and care for your other children.

gdiamante
by Gina on May. 26, 2010 at 3:35 PM


Quoting keun28:

Im breastfeeding my 1 month old and am so happy that Im finally able to breastfeed I havent been able to before for very long. Lately last few days Ive been feeling very emotional and the idea that I cant leave baby with anyone to get a break because If breastfeeding is just too much sometimes.

Who sez you can't leave the baby with someone? Of course you can.

I have pumped baby takes a bottle fine. We had issues with jaundice and had to pump and give him formula just for 24 hrs, I didnt even go the full 24 hrs and I know my milk supply went down a lil so Im afraid to pump instead of letting baby nurse.

The ONLY idnicator of a supply probolem is a drop in dipes. Did you see that? No> Then you don't have a supply problem. What you pump means NOTHING.

Also I feel bad that my other kids are being "neglected" because Im busy with baby.

That's merely the product of having had another baby. That's it. Doesn't matter how you feed. They will ALL feel neglected...that's normal. Don't let it bother you, really.

I just need some words of encouragement. Am I a bad mom for wishing someone could take baby?? Feeling so down. 

The ONLY bad mom is the one whobeats her baby. PERIOD. THat is the official group definition.

gdiamante
by Gina on May. 26, 2010 at 3:36 PM

By the way, youare doing RIDICULOUSLY well, my dear. Tell me, were you the kind who panicked when you got an A- in school? **grin**

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