Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dealing with unwanted coments!!!

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:42 AM
  • 11 Replies

hi moms,

I have a fifteen month old daughter which am breastfeeding, and just found out am pregnant with baby number two, am about 8 weeks along. and oh boy, my family already did not agree on breastfeeding my 15 month, saying the normal, she is to old for the breast. and all the goodstuff most people say, when they no nothing about breasfeeding!!!  and now that am pregnant and still breastfeeding annabelle, it is coming from all directions. I just need some support, how did you deal with so many people being nagative. my husband is pretty supportive, he just wants her to be weaned before the new baby is born. oh the headache!!!!!!! I just need some mommy support!!!

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:42 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Nicciisaloser
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:48 AM

I'm not sure what to tell you because I deal with this sometimes too.  My MIL has been asking me lately "when do you think you'll wean her?  Most people don't bf past 12 months".  She's not even 10 months yet.  when people make comments I'll just say something along the lines of, "well there are many benefits.  I'll stop when I think we're ready".  I don't get bothered by too much though, so I just kinda shrug it off because I know it's something between my baby and I, and no one else.  I'm sure I haven't got the worst of it yet though, as I'm not even at the one year mark yet!  Hang in there!

DeZ143
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:51 AM

have not been in that situation yet but i can offer hugs and ur doing a great great job.

scarlet_willow
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:57 AM

I'm sorry I don't have any great advice, hon, but you are doing the right thing!  If it were me, I'd probably say, based on my own research and the advice of the WHO, I am going to BF her until she is at least 2!  It's the best thing for her, so while it may not be convenient for everyone else, it's what I'm going to do. 

I really don't get why other people feel like they have such a big say in this.  It's not like they come up and inspect what kinds of solid foods your LO is eating and then criticize for that (or maybe some people to actually haha)

Lahtaspirit
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:59 AM

I dont know what to say besides hang in there and I am jealous 15 months!!! I wanted to breast feed for AT LEAST 12 months. But my daughter decided she was done at 7 I CRIED and cried and cried. But obviously had to get over this I was so excited to breast feed this time around but my baby has a heart condition needs surgery and most likely wont be eating at all probably on IV's then feeding tube. Once again I was disappointed but what ever is best for him is all that matters my emotions dont.

Gruntlings
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 11:10 AM

I tend to say "I am following the advice of the American Academy of Pediatricians and the World Health Organization. If you want to give me advice that contradicts the advice of the experts, I am going to request that you do your research first and be able to quote studies and facts/figures to back up your opinions. Otherwise I would really appreciate it if you would stop stressing me out with unbacked opinions. Thank you." 

NichonasMama
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 11:11 AM

Hang in there mama!  I think bf makes you stronger because you have to deal w/the comments.  I haven't figured out how to shut the family up yet, so if anyone has the answer, I'd love to hear it! =)  Just know you're doing what's best for your baby.  The last time I saw my doc, she told me to try to bf until as close to 3 as I can because it's the MOST trying time in their lives, when they start dealing with the realization that they are independent people(scary!), get their 2 year molars(painful/frustrating), usually moving away from the family bed(scary), and often starting things like preschool(separation anxiety), learning more language skills, and potty learning.  A couple years of bf are just a drop in the bucket in terms of time in their lives.  And wouldn't you want to provide comfort/nourishment to them when they are the most new/vulnerable to so many things?

And does your husband know he's going to have to be involved in this weaning process?  If he wants it on that timeline the most, he should be actively involved when she wants breastmilk and isn't getting it. ( i.e. if she's upset he should be trying to soothe her, and see how easy it is to spend all your time doing that - but then again, it'll be a little easier for him, since he doesn't wear the milk everywhere he goes.)

Good luck mama!  And just know you're amazing for making it this far, as so many don't! =)

pghmomma
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 11:21 AM

I get it from DH's side, never mine (my whole family practiced extended bfing).  I printed out some published medical studies and WHO info (while I was pregnant, mind you, I knew this was coming even then)  on the subject and give those to them when they bring it up.  They are fairly thick and most people won't want to read it.  I tell them I won't talk to them about it until they read real information on the subject.  I don't discuss things with uninformed people.   That usually shuts them up, instantly.   No one has brought it back up either. 


Here's some info for you.  I haven't found the study I printed out yet.  It was linked from mothering.com when I printed it out.  But this stuff is great too.

http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-breastfeeding-benefits-you-and-your-baby_8910.bc

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/101/1/e9

I'm an attachment parenting, gentle disciplining,  cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, non-vaxing, extended rear facing, baby wearing, home schooling, organic eating, christian, conservative mama bear.  I have 1 beautiful little cub, so far.  I sell Premier Designs jewelry and am a Northwood real estate agent. 

preacherskid
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 11:57 AM

First off, congrats on the little jellybean!  I am also about 8 weeks along, and nursing my 18 month old DD.  My family (and his) have learned by now to just keep it to themselves.  They started on me at 12 months, and it has taken the past six to shut them up lol.  My mom thinks I'm starting to wean DD for some reason.  I don't know why.  DH has no problems with me continuing to nurse at all, so I'm happy about that.  He's even okay with tandem nursing if DD goes through the whole pregnancy and still wants to nurse after the new one arrives.  http://www.kellymom.com/     http://kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html  <Links to info on breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem nursing after, FAQ, benefits, etc.  Awesome.  As for the comments, well, I have just gotten to the point (and this could be hormones- I am not a happy pregnant woman) where if anyone has anything to say I basically tell them it isn't any of their business how I feed my child(ren)  You can nurse as long as you are both comfortable/able.  The only change I have made is we are starting to switch DD over to soymilk on the days I work, mainly because pumping is incredibly painful right now. 

Lahtaspirit
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 12:14 PM


Quoting preacherskid:

First off, congrats on the little jellybean!  I am also about 8 weeks along, and nursing my 18 month old DD.  My family (and his) have learned by now to just keep it to themselves.  They started on me at 12 months, and it has taken the past six to shut them up lol.  My mom thinks I'm starting to wean DD for some reason.  I don't know why.  DH has no problems with me continuing to nurse at all, so I'm happy about that.  He's even okay with tandem nursing if DD goes through the whole pregnancy and still wants to nurse after the new one arrives.  http://www.kellymom.com/     http://kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html  

:( I am so jealous 18 months and possibly tandem. It makes me sad I wont have the chance for Either

gdiamante
by Gina on Jun. 3, 2010 at 1:30 PM

Here's the thing. You don't have to pay them any attention. Tell them thanks for their concern ut your DOCTOR is not worried. Then change the subject. If they cannot let it go, CHANGE YOUR LOCALE.

Yep, get up and LEAVE.

 

There's also my standard response.

"MIchael Jordan was breastfed to age three. So was Albert Einstein. Jesus was likely breastfed to age FOUR. So, when YOU have six NBA Championship rings, a Nobel Prize and can walk on water, come talk to me. Till then, STICK A CORK IN IT."

Don't have any compunction about being rude...they already crossed the manners line.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)