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Help please, feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Piog

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:24 PM
  • 7 Replies
I just gave birth to a 5lb 8.5oz baby boy on Wednesday the 9th. I have a 26 month old boy who before my newborn arrived was nursing once a day only at night before bed. I expected that when the baby came he might want to nurse a little more but he literally wants to nurse every possible second. He loves the baby, always checking on him, wanting to touch and hold him etc. but he isn't sure how to share me. They were very concerned at the hospital about my little one getting enough to eat and gaining weight because he was born small and at 37 weeks. At first it was good that my toddler was nursing like crazy because it helped my milk come in quicker. Now that he just wants to nurse all day I worry about my newborn getting enough. The minute he sees me put the baby to my breast he is climbing all over us yanking my tender breasts and begging for "booboob". It is difficult to manuver them both to nurse comfortably. It's a painful project to find ways to contort my back and breasts in a manner to accomodate both boys. I am trying to be understanding but he also wants to nurse all day long even when the baby is sleeping. He isn't playing or watching tv or even eating the way he did before the baby. I am tryingvto give him extra attention and praise but there's obviously still jealousy. It definitely hurts more when he nurses plus it intensifies my cramping. I don't mind nursing him a little more than before but he won't let me breathe. He is super clingy even though we are all trying to give him extra attention. He won't even let his dad change his diaper since the baby came. I don't want to deny him but I feel like he is over doing it with the nursing. He used to be fine with cuddling but he wants nothing to do with loving and throws a screaming fit if I try to talk with him and cuddle instead. I feel bad for my buddy to be having such a hard time adjusting to the baby. I want to give him what he needs but not at the expense of my physical and mental well being. Is it wrong for me to try to limit his nursing or should I set limits on when he can nurse? I feel like a f/t dairy cow and idk what the right thing is to do without hurting my toddler or our relationship. I need advice!
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:24 PM
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by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:29 PM

oh wow momma!  I think you should set some limits on the nursing and have daddy time for him where daddy takes him out of the house for atleast an hour, and then when they get back have daddy take the new baby on a walk for 20 mins or say, or if it's to hot they can go in the baby's room and sit so you and your big guy can have some time.  I hope someone else has some more advice for you!

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:40 PM
You setting nursing limits will not hurt your sounld like a great mom and Your son won't remember this a year from now. He will love you just the same. Pp had good suggestion. MAke your alone time with him special big boy only nursing time or give it a cool name boys love that stuff
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by Group Admin -Tabitha on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:43 PM

GO ahead and limit him.  DO NOT FEEL BAD.  Think of telling set times when he can nurse..that way he knows what to expect.

Do what is best for your baby and YOU, he will be ok.  Siblings have to learn limits and its good he not always get his way...that is normal and good for him.

Point out the things he gets to do baby does NOT.  Tell him baby needs milk but you get blah b;ah blah.

HUGS momma I am having the opposite almost, since my 6 week old was born my now 3 year old barely nurses, maybe 2-3 times a week.  Never at the same time as the baby and rarely does he want mommy.  He potty trained, started going to bed on his own easily WITH his brothers and cut way back on nursings all in the past 6 weeks.  OH and daddy has to do eveything with him and if he needs help its daddy's help.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:49 PM
GOOD LUCK MOMMA....I have no experience with tandem so BUMP
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by Gina on Jun. 14, 2010 at 6:50 PM

The newborn will ALWAYS get enough. There is absolutely NO risk for him here. The real risk is that YOU will be driven out of your gourd!

YES, se tlimits. Good parenting is more about saying "no" than saying "yes." Be unafraid to do that. And when your child tells you you're mean, agree with him. It's part of the job.

by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 7:32 PM

Nursing manners. Tell him baby needs to nurse first, and offer to read a book or share a special snack with him. He may see nursing as the only attention he can get. Sometimes other things can help. *hug* 

by on Jun. 15, 2010 at 3:40 PM

i don't know.i weaned my ds when i found out i was 2 mos pregnant.he was 3 yrs. old at them urs he was barely nursing anyway. mine hasn't had a problem. sometimes he says 1 side is his, but he never tries to nurse. good luck!

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