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Just need some encouragement from extended/self wean mamas

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 1:14 AM
  • 21 Replies

My son is almost 19 months and still nurses 2-3 times a day. I love that I chose to extend nursing and for the first year I had nothing but great support from everyone. Now it is just me and my hubby against the world it seems! Why does everyone have to put there two cents in? How does me nursing my son affect their lives? Even my parents roll their eyes when he wants to nurse over there and tell me that I should try weaning him since he doesn't think about it when I'm not there. They are telling me he won't quit and trying to convince me that I don't want to nurse a 4 yr old..I say so what? So what if he does nurse at 4? So what if I nurse him to college?..well maybe not that long lol. So ladies I just need the encouragement, the proof, your stories and thoughts on extended breast feeding and self weaning so it doesn't get to me so much! Friends and family are really driving me up the wall right now with this whole "he needs to give up the boob" or "he needs to grow up" thing!

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 1:14 AM
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 1:27 AM

The longest I've nursed is 14 months, so I'm not exactly an expert :o(  I didn't wean on purpose, but I didn't offer and they never asked... I messed up somewhere.  Anyway, no one other than my husband would question how I parent my children.  Family and friends automatically know that.  Maybe you should change your attitude to HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD?! and they will leave you alone.  I'm not a very outspoken person, except where my children are concerned.

If you feel the need to explain yourself to them tell them the AAP (1 and beyond if mom and baby are happy with it) and WHO (min 2 years) thinks it's best for your baby/toddler, so who are they to question it.  He does NOT need to grow up at 19 months, that is insane.  They grow up too quickly as it is.

I hope you're able to get through to them.  I'm sure with the holidays here it's extra frustrating for you.

by Group Admin - Julia on Dec. 9, 2010 at 1:54 AM
sorry mama :( I dealt with that....and it got soooo irritating. Im not very confrontational so I usually didnt say anything....but my blood would start boiling over stupid comments. I still nursed even with them and the rolling of the eyes. I think I remembered some good things to say to these negative comments from the book "the womanly art of breastfeeding".
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:54 AM

If you don't want to listen to their opinions you only really have two options.  First is to not nurse over there (after around 18 months my son was old enough to wait until we got home.  Take plenty of snacks with you.)  Second is to tell them that if they insist on criticizing your parenting then you will no longer grace their home with your (and your son's) presence. 

And of course your son doesn't think about it while you're not there.  Because you are not there!  Duh :)

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:57 AM

My daughter is still nursing at 3 1/2.  She is getting tons of health benefits from it... immunological, emotional, healthy fats for her brain to grow!  The WHO recommends 2 yrs minimum and the AAP encourages self weaning (so does WHO).  Kellymom has some great info on full term nursing and self weaning and the benefits to the child... print that off and keep in the diaper bag to hand nay-sayers!

by Celeste on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:59 AM

Hang in there. I know it's tough. I felt that it was just me against the world, too. I nursed my twins-one of them nursed to 3 1/2 and the other to 4. My family was horrible. They'd make snide comments. I remember one time, at my cousin's house, one of my boys had a tea pot. The top of the pot, my mom said looked like a nipple and she started making fun of him for nursing. Nice, huh? And of course, they all started in on the "it's so gross to nurse a 4 year old" blah blah blah.

I just ignored them. I had fact behind me and they just had their ignorance.

by Group Admin -Tabitha on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:53 AM

How does nursing effect them growing up?  I mean my son potty trained, learned to walk and talk and even put himself to bed alllllll while still nursing here and there.  Its not as though he has to have it to live, but hey you don't need other things to live but its BETTER if you have them.

Tell your mom yeah he doesn't ask for it when its not here but when he knows he can get it and his body tells him he needs it he asks..ask her if she wants to go without her morning coffee...what? No? But she doesn't NEED it and she doesn't ALWAYS have it, she could be fine without it...not the same?  Well no its not becuase BM is good for him and has nutrients coffee doesn't!

by Group Admin -Tabitha on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:54 AM

BTW my son nursed til 42 months, through a pregnancy and everything, boy did that get some raised eyebrows.  My family and hubby's family just didn't get it but honestly I didn't care.  I was very outspoken about BFing so they knew better than to even THINK about challenging me

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:57 AM

 My oldest weaned at 12 months. I was ready to stop, and so was she. My middle wouldn't sit still for 5 minutes, so I had to wean him at 13 months. My now 12 month old is not going to stop any time soon. I've had a couple people ask me about it (and I have a very forceful aunt who thinks I'm nuts), but I just kind of ignore it. I'm lucky that I have my mom on my side (she nursed me until I was almost 2), so nursing at her house isn't an issue. I think that if people ask you about it, just tell them that how you feed your child is none of their business. It doesn't affect them, so their opinion doesn't matter.

by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:06 AM
I am lucky, I live hundreds of miles from any one that cares. My son is 16 months and doesn't show any signs of stopping. I'm glad he is distinguishing now between nursing and regular food but everyone that finds out I'm still nursing says good for you. Everyone but his doc who doesn't say to stop but says it isn't necessary. I don't listen to that part of our visit with her but she's the only one who says anything. I think DH would like nursing to be over but he knows better then to say anything.
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:12 AM

 Yeah, mine didn't really say anything to me until the girls were 3 then the comments.

My son self weaned when he was 2 years 2 weeks old, he was a snacker but he slowly cut back to only night time and then he was done.

The girls are still nursing but going days between and they are turning 4 today. My experience with them is completely different than with my son, both experiences are wonderful though! The girls never snacked, they are down to business nursers and always have been. They have slowly cut back over the years and now just started going days between nursings.

People just don't get it and they don't have to, what they think matters not!

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