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Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:49 PM
  • 15 Replies

I'm really struggling!! My last few posts have been about how much I dislike nursing. I was given alot of good comments, and alot of support, and I totally appreciate it. But, I'm struggling again today! I just want to QUIT! I'm just totally frustrated that it's taking soooo long, and it hurts, and my c section hurts like crap, and i'm just tired. my mom is here helping me, and has been so wonderful, but this whole nursing thing is just alot for me to handle right now. I don't know why I hate it so much. Every time I go to nurse, I wish that my milk was just gone, and that I couldn't nurse anymore. Is that normal? to wish my milk away?? And then I feel extremely guilty because I feel this way, and I know that breast milk is soooo good for my baby, and that i'm giving her the best I can, but I hate it. I had to bottle feed my first because of alot of reasons, and I liked seeing how much he was eating, and it didn't take up to an hour, and I just felt like it was easier. now, it seems like it takes so much to get ready to nurse. I have to wrap her up, otherwise her hands are all over her face and in the way, I have to get my bobby pillow because I have to use it other wise my incision hurts too much, AND I have to use a nipple shield. I've tried to not use the shield, or the pillow, but it makes it worse because we both get frustrated. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just want to scream!! When does it get easier?

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:49 PM
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:53 PM
give it some more time hun. It gets easier. I've had 2 c sections and about to have my 3rd.. My first was formula only because for some strange reason I didn't produce any milk at all. Ds I was able to nurse for a month and then pump and feed/comfort nurse till 6 months. The insision pain does go away about a week or 2 after baby just hang in there.... You can do it!
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:54 PM
I promise it will get easier!! Dont give up, your baby needs YOU now more than ever, thats something that nobody else can give your little one. Timing will get quicker, hands will fall into place and everything will get better. You can do it! Youve made it this far so something inside you wants to do whats best for baby so keep up the good work, doing whats best for your baby!
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:00 PM

i think 6 weeks its much easier but really I dont think I was good at it til 11 or so weeks.. and I had to use a nipple sheild in the beginning and then I could do it without. It really will get easier. And think of all the bottles you arent washing/making.. and the $ your saving by not buying formula. You are building up a healthy immune system to keep doctor visits away and getting VERY bonded with your baby.. i KNOW its hard to look at all the positivies.. there were MANY times I just wanted to give up. I only last 6 months and now wish I could have went longer.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:01 PM
Of course bottle feeding seems easier hun. That's the same way as I feel when I wanna have Burger King for dinner instead of cooking, of course it's easier but it's not the best for you.
It gets easier and trust me when the day comes the when baby is hungry and you can just whip out a boobie and not have to get bottles, mix formula, and heat water you'll be glad you stuck with it hun. Give it time. Don't give up. I'm rooting for you and baby.
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:16 PM
The best part is that you know the benefits of BF. Keep at it. It does take longer to feed your child and you can't see how much baby is consuming, but check to make sure baby has enough wet diapers.
It truly does get easier and the bond you will share is priceless.
The boppy sucks - get yourself a Brestfriend pillow-i did and it helps with c-section.
Please, don't give up it gets better!
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:22 PM

we're on the same boat, ds is almost 1 month and I feel like giving up, my breast hurts!!!!

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:27 PM
I had to use a sheild and hated it! It took us 7 weeks to get off of it. I would latch ds with the sheild, let him nurse for a min to draw out my nipple. then unlatch, take sheild off and relatch him. It helped alot and after a few times he didnt want the sheild. It takes a little bit, but it does get better. Also she will get much more efficient at nursing soon and it wont take an hour. :) Its hard at first but definitely worth it in the end. Remember your not alone!
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:30 PM

YES it DOES get easier. I thought the same thing when I first started. It is sooooo hard in the begining but after a couple months it becomes EASIER then bottle feeding. I've done both and trust me, I will NEVER bottle feed again. Please hang in there, and at least get to enjoy nursing. It will happen. Keep reminding yourself everytime your baby poops that is ALL you. YOUR MILK is making your baby do that. :) Also, read about the reasons not to formula feed and the chemicals and that always keeps me strong in times of weakness. Before you know it you'll be looking back on these days and be so thankful you hung in there. We're here for you. :)

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:32 PM

You're right in the middle of crunch time, Momma. This was the time when I thought I was going to lose my mind! Sore nipples, no sleep, baby so sleepy ALL THE TIME. . .but it DOES get better. I promise.

Are you taking the pain meds for your C-section incision? Just curious b/c pain can make everything seem worse. BUT, if you can get by with ibuprofen, sometimes narcotic pain meds ALSO make your mood worse. . .

No need for guilt. . .feelings are just feelings, they are not behaviors. You are in the middle of severe hormone soup right now so cut yourself some slack.

Logistics: Have you tried football hold? I always found that hold MUCH easier in the beginning after my c-sections. Baby doesn't lay on your incision, usually one regular pillow under her is enough and it's easier to keep her hands out of the way. . .

And if I may ask, why are you using a nipple shield? In my experience, those often complicate matters and are hard to wean baby off of. If it's for nipple soreness, you'd be better off getting some plastic shells to wear inside your bra between feedings. They create an air pocket around your nipple so nothing sticks to it. Then express some milk and rub in on your nipples after every feeding. Let that air dry, then apply lanolin before putting the shell on and closing your bra. Your nipples will have to get used to a direct latch eventually and IMO nipple shields can just prolong the pain. 

Have you had baby's latch checked?

All that said, hang in there. For me at 2 weeks with my first and 3 weeks with my second, things suddenly got much easier. You can do this!!

by Gina on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:24 PM

At the level you are experiencing? I want you to check this out:

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex


Defining D-MER:
What It Is

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is a condition affecting lactating women that is characterized by an abrupt dysphoria, or negative emotions, that occur just before milk release and continuing not more than a few minutes.

Preliminary testing shows that D-MER is treatable if severe and preliminary investigation shows that inappropriate dopamine activity at the time of the milk ejection reflex is the cause of D-MER.

Dysphoria is defined as an unpleasant or uncomfortable mood, such as sadness, depressed mood, anxiety, irritability, or restlessness. Etymologically, it is the opposite of euphoria.

Clarifying D-MER:
What It Is Not

D-MER is not a psychological response to breastfeeding.

D-MER is not nausea with letdown or any other isolated physical manifestation.

D-MER is not postpartum depression or a postpartum mood disorder.

D-MER is not a general dislike of breastfeeding.

D-MER is not the "breastfeeding aversion" that can happen to some mothers when nursing while pregnant or when nursing older toddlers.

Summing-Up D-MER:
What It Does


  • The dysphoria a mother feels comes on suddenly before letdown and leaves with in 30 seconds to 2 minutes. 
  • She feels the dysphoria before she feels the letdown sensation in her breasts (though not all mothers feel a physical letdown sensation). 
  • Often by the end of the first letdown she feels fine again, the dysphoria is gone.
  • It can happen for the first letdown of a feeding or for all letdowns in a feeding.
  • She may or may not have dysphoria with letdowns when pumping and before spontaneous letdowns.
  • D-MER is like a reflex. It is controlled by hormones and can not be controlled by the mother. She can not talk herself out of the dysphoria.
  • D-MER has nothing to do with nipple contact or with irritation with the sensation of nipple tugging. The mother does not even have to be thinking about breastfeeding (for example with spontaneous letdowns) for the dysphoria to happen when a milk release is triggered.
  • When a milk release is triggered prolactin levels begin to rise even before milk has begun to flow through the breasts. Dopamine helps control the secretion of prolactin and so dopamine levels must lower briefly for prolactin to rise. Once prolactin has begun it's slow climb, dopamine stabilizes. This happens to every lactating mother
  • Dopamine is know for having an effect on moods and in a mother with D-MER dopamine is behaving somehow inappropriately in it's drop. It is in this very quick and immediate drop that a mother with D-MER feels her dysphoria. As dopamine levels restabilized, the dysphoria is gone. 
  • The experience of D-MER is variable and a mother will have either despondency D-MER, anxiety D-MER or agitation D-MER. Her dysphoria will fall on it's own place on the emotional spectrum, ranging from homesickness to anger.
  • There are three intensities of D-MER that included mild, moderate and severe. These intensities are determined by the mother's interpretation of intensity, how long the D-MER takes to self correct, how many letdowns per feeding she feels the dysphoria and other criteria.
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